Husband won't see Dr...Should he?

zenman · Jul 21, 2004

Call the emergency squad. then he will have no choice!!! he may get mad at you, but better a mad husband, than the alternative!

Or if you have "docs on wheels" have one stop by while he's watching TV. He needs to be seen NOW! Tell him, you'll leave him...or that you're increasing his life insurance policy.

Chevelle · Jul 21, 2004

Thanks everyone!!! It is so funny b/c before reading the new posts, I had called his mother:chuckle

He plans on going to work tomorrow because he claims the headache was from no coffee and that it was just too hot. I hardly believe it. He has the headaches for awhile now on days he has been to coffee & he has been with the State for almost ten years...so he has been in hotter weather than the mid-seventies that we have been seeing. Tomorrow is going to 85 and humid. I know that if ends up not feeling good tomorrow then he probably will go-but I am not going to let up and I will make him the app't without his knowledge if he continues to be so pig-headed.

He claims because he feels fine now, then nothing is wrong. I beg to differ.

Thanks again everyone-I really appreciate your input!

SmilingBluEyes · Jul 21, 2004

Your instincts are right on and so are those of the good people here. I only ask you let us know how he is doing, ok? Best wishes!

Chevelle · Jul 21, 2004

Your instincts are right on and so are those of the good people here. I only ask you let us know how he is doing, ok? Best wishes!

Thank you very much & I will keep you posted!!

unikuelady, RN · Jul 21, 2004

:uhoh21: Look him right in the face and tell him you need to know how much life insurance he has, where all the financial/banking/credit card information is located (if you don't already know). Make sure you have copies of your marriage license, his birth certificate, any military records (dd214) if applicable and his social security number. Tell him you will need these items on hand for when he DIES. If that doesn't get him going to the ER immediatly....then stand in his way until he gathers all the above information for you. My husband of 20 years had many of the same symptoms for several years off/on...he explained them away as being tired,hot,sick....etc. Well he dropped dead in the bathroom of his brothers house. Ended up having a berry anuerism in the center of his brain. the coroner informed me that his was congential and must have had symptoms off and of for years. Also if you have children, remind him to never leave them with a bad ending. My husband was angry with our 2 teens the last time they saw him. These now adults are still dealing with this.

Good Luck. I hope it is nothing serious.

explorer · Jul 21, 2004

My husband works outside for the New York State Dep't of Transportation. For the past couple weeks he has been getting severe headaches a few times a week and then today he came home because at work he had bad chest pain, nausea, dizziness, confused and said his vision was, "like looking through a fish bowl." I told him he needs to see a Dr. but he said it was nothing b/c he is feeling better now-just a little tired.
Maybe he is right? Yet I would think not..

From what you have said, the type of symptons that he has don't happen by accident. They happen for a reason. That reason is if something doesn't change the results could be worse.

Chevelle · Jul 21, 2004

:uhoh21: Look him right in the face and tell him you need to know how much life insurance he has, where all the financial/banking/credit card information is located (if you don't already know). Make sure you have copies of your marriage license, his birth certificate, any military records (dd214) if applicable and his social security number. Tell him you will need these items on hand for when he DIES. If that doesn't get him going to the ER immediatly....then stand in his way until he gathers all the above information for you. My husband of 20 years had many of the same symptoms for several years off/on...he explained them away as being tired,hot,sick....etc. Well he dropped dead in the bathroom of his brothers house. Ended up having a berry anuerism in the center of his brain. the coroner informed me that his was congential and must have had symptoms off and of for years. Also if you have children, remind him to never leave them with a bad ending. My husband was angry with our 2 teens the last time they saw him. These now adults are still dealing with this.
Good Luck. I hope it is nothing serious.

I am terribly sorry to hear about your loss & you and your sons are in my prayers. I have made a copy of your post to show my husband. Thank you very much! It means a lot to me that you were willing to share your experience.

JKostok · Jul 21, 2004

A man cannot be forced. A man must decide that it's the right thing to do. This man's decisions are clearly tied to work ethic and he works in an occupation dominated by men's rules of survival.
Get his mother??
That might work for Norman Bates but you must stop thinking in a woman's world to understand a man's motivations. You can't invite him to brunch and get misty-eyed while you watch Steel Magnolias and tell him that he should take care of himself. He must think that it is his decision and that it is the right choice to make by tying it to work.
Forget all that touchy-feely crap and treat him like a man.....basicly.

Peeps, I hope you are not a doctor or a nurse. If you are get malpractice insurance real quick because you are going to need it thinking like that!

Chevelle · Jul 21, 2004

A man cannot be forced. A man must decide that it's the right thing to do. This man's decisions are clearly tied to work ethic and he works in an occupation dominated by men's rules of survival.
Get his mother??
That might work for Norman Bates but you must stop thinking in a woman's world to understand a man's motivations. You can't invite him to brunch and get misty-eyed while you watch Steel Magnolias and tell him that he should take care of himself. He must think that it is his decision and that it is the right choice to make by tying it to work.
Forget all that touchy-feely crap and treat him like a man.....basicly.

No offense, but I do treat him like a man. I am the last woman in the world that ever gets "misty eyed" & I thought Steel Magnolias sucked.:chuckle

I have left it to be his decision but since we have a very young daughter (1 year), I see nothing wrong with giving him my two cents about being sensible with it.

Thanks for your reply.

Chevelle · Jul 21, 2004

Or if you have "docs on wheels" have one stop by while he's watching TV. He needs to be seen NOW! Tell him, you'll leave him...or that you're increasing his life insurance policy.

:chuckle :chuckle :chuckle Cute! I know that he would not believe it if I told him I was leaving him....maybe the life insurance thing would work... :rolleyes:

Thanks!

Personally, whether or not he would ever admit it, I think he is one of those people that puts things off because he doesn't want to hear the news if it is bad.

BittyBabyGrower, MSN, RN · Jul 21, 2004

Men are the worst! Even the guy nurses I work with!

My DH was having headaches, tiredness, etc and one day he had a really sore throat and I told him to quit bellyaching and go get a strep test...well, the little forage to the ER at work sent him straight to CCU for hypertension! still can't believe that he only had the H/A and tiredness! I guess that is why it is called the silent killer!

I have to laugh..I am always telling DH that I have lots of insurance out on him, so don't worry about me