Husband won't see Dr...Should he?

Nurses General Nursing


My husband works outside for the New York State Dep't of Transportation. For the past couple weeks he has been getting severe headaches a few times a week and then today he came home because at work he had bad chest pain, nausea, dizziness, confused and said his vision was, "like looking through a fish bowl." I told him he needs to see a Dr. but he said it was nothing b/c he is feeling better now-just a little tired.

Maybe he is right? Yet I would think not..

Mimi2RN, ASN, RN

1,142 Posts

Specializes in NICU.

Yes, he needs to see a doctor, maybe even the ER doc.

Good luck....sounds like he's in denial. Let us know what's going on.


12 Posts

I think for sure he needs to go to the doctors. I feel anything dealing with head, brain, is always a must go see to the doctor. I also have a hard time getting my husband to the doctors, it must be a white coat syndrome. ha ha :chuckle Men are not like women, us at a early age adapt seeing a doctor every year, men at young ages don't have to adapt to that at all.

Angela Mac

219 Posts

He needs to see a Physician ASAP

working outdoors can cause dehydration, electrolyte imbalances & heat stroke- needing medical intervention

severe headaches, nausea, dizziness, chest discomfort, visual disturbances- can also be symptoms of high blood pressure, vision impairment needing corrective lenses, or a multitude of cardiac disorders, and diabetes.

A professional assessment is in order. Remind him of how much you love him, and that it would hurt you if he didn't see a Doctor. Some people need someone else to initiate a treatment plan.

Good luck to both of you. :)


32 Posts

:eek: Get him to an ER stat! Coud be TIAs, mini-strokes, or who knows. Better to be safe than sorry. Are you a nurse yet? If not, you need to know that this is potentially serious - emergent. Do not wait! You will regret it.


202 Posts

Well thanks everyone! I appreciate the info. He still refuses to go & I am too little to drag him there myself :chuckle

Even though I am not a nurse yet, I do see it as his body telling him that something is not right. I don't see why he needs to be so stubborn about it. I told him that he needs to think of myself & my daughter. I think he is avoiding it because he doesn't want to know if something is wrong b/c then he may be out of work & he is trying to build our house, he worries about bill...etc. Obviously to me, those are minor things compared to his health but he won't budge! How frustrating!:angryfire

Thanks again and I am going to keep trying. He has Fridays off so maybe I will just make him an appointment myself and take him. Won't let him know until we get there and then give him no choice b/c he would never make a scene!:p


72 Posts

i haven't even read you post but with the subject title alone...i would say YES...take him...even if you have to trick your husband...your gut feeling tells you to do so. i have the same prob with my hubby. i had to tell him that we're going to see our son's pedia. surprise, least i was sure he was OK


23 Posts

OK! Do what I do. Call the ambulance or his mother-either way you will win :-)

Peeps Mcarthur

1,018 Posts

Simple..................tell him he has to go to the doc so an obviouse impending (emergent) medical disability won't interfere with his ability to earn a paycheck. His motivation is not in his feelings but in his perception. If he sees himself as an invalid after a doctor visit, he won't go. Convince him that he'll probably get some meds and be back to work Monday as strong as ever and nobody will be the wiser.

It's the manly thing to do.

His perception of the unknown will be that He'll get some meds and go back to work with minimal attention to a medical condition. Once the doctor is talking to him he'll reliquish the responsibility to him as is the custom.

Then you just have to force feed him the meds and confront him everyday about what schedule,if any, he took them on.

That 'if you love me you'll do it' stuff usualy doesn't work with us men. it works on my wife like a charm. All I have to do is treat her like a child and make her appointments,drive her there, give her meds with a glass of water and watch her take them. A kiss on the cheek closes the deal and she does it on her own.


154 Posts

Hmmm... how many times this week have I been told by my cardiac ICU patients that their hospitalization started because they "just didn't feel right"???? And, oh, yeah.... they waited 3 days to seek help. Gosh...that lost function will sure be missed. :uhoh21:

Get his butt to the doc ASAP!! I agree.. call his mother.. or his sister.. or a nagging aunt!! Or 911.

Specializes in Inpatient Acute Rehab.
Well thanks everyone! I appreciate the info. He still refuses to go & I am too little to drag him there myself :chuckle

Call the emergency squad. then he will have no choice!!! he may get mad at you, but better a mad husband, than the alternative!

Peeps Mcarthur

1,018 Posts

A man cannot be forced. A man must decide that it's the right thing to do. This man's decisions are clearly tied to work ethic and he works in an occupation dominated by men's rules of survival.

Get his mother??

That might work for Norman Bates but you must stop thinking in a woman's world to understand a man's motivations. You can't invite him to brunch and get misty-eyed while you watch Steel Magnolias and tell him that he should take care of himself. He must think that it is his decision and that it is the right choice to make by tying it to work.

Forget all that touchy-feely crap and treat him like a man.....basicly.

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