I've been working in our ER for nearly a year, and in lieu of recent events, was prompted to open this thread. I am the only male nurse in, not just the ER but in the entire hospital. The nurses I work with are very good at what they do, save for one fault. THEY HATE MALES! Despite their "friendly" and helpful demeanor there has always been some underlying hostility towards me. Not only that, I tend to overhear comments like "They only hired him because he's a male nurse." and "Guess who's YOUR partner today?" Even though this is a male nursing forum, Marci, I hope you are reading this.
One of the nurses I used to work with (who I miss dearly) suggested I try to "kill them with kindness." It didn't work. I brought homemade cheesecake. They ate it like hyenas at a slaughter, but not a single thank you from any of them.
OK here's my question: How do I attempt to solve this problem, without quitting my job (which I do love) without having to resort to murder? Has anyone run across this problem? How did you deal with it?
One issue I have noticed is that if I assign a male nurse to a combative patient they do automatically assume I assigned them that patient because muscle may be needed. That isn't true, what they aren't seeing is that the previous 6 nurses for that particular patient were female. Let's face it, nobody wants the combative folks, so instead of sticking one person with the same patient day after day I put a new nurse in there each shift. It's only fair.
I'd agree with everything you said except for that.
I bought that story my first year or so out of school.
Several different hospitals, states, and agencies later I figured out the pattern that the little 80 pound pretty waif and the frail 60 something nurse who's worked there forever NEVER get assigned those combative patients if there are ever any male nurses on the floor.
You personally may run your floor that way but I can tell you from experience, you are by far the minority.
It really wouldn't bother me except that those same nurses are quick to cry discrimination if they don't get paid the same as me, they can't handle the assignment of heavy inpatient care and probably should be working in an area like outpatient where they can handle the load but they want the hospital wages, yet expect someone else to do their dirty work for them.
It's like they expect that they should only have to hang piggybacks and do IV pushes all day.
If you want a nurse's paycheck, then you need to do a nurse's job.
And that includes heavy lifting and combative patients at times.
Wow RN34TX...you've run into some bychy females...LOL! Usually these heavy combative types need the entire staff to turn/move/lift/ clean, anyway in my experience and we try to rotate assignments fairly.
Today's job descriptions for a nurse can be more compatible with males, or women who body build, IMO.
My last job description in Tx: able to lift 100 # 3 times from floor to chest, then 75# 6 times. I had to demonstrate it. My hubby works construction and doesn't have a job description like that...he was shocked.
Most of my male coworkers in ICU are great....will automatically move in to assist with abusive males or very heavy tasks. They are aware they are more suited phyically than many smaller females who may lack the upper body strength. Maybe I just work with some nice guys who are team players...I also help them out with female pericare when asked, etc. Wer all tried to CYA for each other, in many circumstances.
I guess all the little old 100# weakling nurses should just get out of ICU...but then again 30 yrs ago when they trained, they didn't have the 600# patients, nor the druggies/combatives in ICU. I sure didn't.
Our job has changed considerably over the decades. We need to CYA and teamwork to get through our shift, in my experience.
i am responding to this because i just quit my job because of a male nurse. There were many discussions between the other nurses reguarding males in nursing...some of the topics were on inappropriate flirting between the mainly female staff, the female staff then slacking with their work, the male supervisor refusing to correct behavior of self and staff, the male then taking extended breaks, the male then getting a promotion to full time charge nurse because he was also taking extended breaks with the female D.O.N. The environment became so perverse with sexual talk I could no longer stand to work in that facility, I could have stayed and filed sexual harassment but that would have made me look bad also because our don and administrator(both female) had already been told of the situation and refused to investigate. I have worked with male nurses before and and i do not discriminate between the sexes.I only do when the person (male or female) fails to work as everyone else is required in the nursing staff.
Freud described these females as having member envy. They are very angy because they were born with wrong genitalia. Unless these females are willing to seek psychological counseling, they will never change. Some will require medication to help resolve their psychological issues. Killing them with kindness will not work. Confront them for what they are, and assert yourself.
Kill them with kindness, although well meaning, doesn't work.
I couldn't solve the problem myself, so I sought employment settings that had more male nurses so that I wouldn't be left to fend for myself.
It worked. I'm not trying to suggest running away, but getting out of that environment is what worked for me.
More men on the floor, in my experience, no matter what anyone else says, plain and simple, helps keep the peace.
I'm surprised that you are the only male in an ER, because ER seems to attract men.
Like I stated earlier, I couldn't solve the problem myself, I can only tell you not to take it too personally, as hard as that is to do, just understand the underlying reason(s) behind the hostility:
The #1 reason for the anti-man behavior is:
Women who had bad relationships with men in their personal lives and it's a lot easier to blame men in general for their misfortunes than to own up to the fact that they made bad choices in men and in their personal lives in general, i.e. "It's not my fault, it's all these men who have done me wrong..."
They see you and they will take it out on you.
There may also be women who saw male nurses previously get promoted above them and feel ignored for their experience, education, contribution, etc. and see you as one more man to someday get promoted above them even though your qualifications may be inferior to theirs. It happens.
You can't blame someone for being bitter about that, although I'm not trying to excuse the behavior, just trying to understand it.
All I know is, male presence on any floor helps keep the peace, but at the same time, I have to say that I've run into some male instigators who participate in the cat fighting and gossip and fuel the fire for a badly run floor.
Huh?
Ever think they just don't like you? That member envy thing is offensive and disgusting. And being promoted above a woman with more qualifications??
If, by qualifications you mean ego, psychopathy and all around jerkiness then MAYBE! Get over yourself.
I guess it depends where your work. I work in an ER as well, and I've had several female nurses say they would rather have more male nurses in the dept. One of the reasons is that we dont gossip as much. Who knows, what makes people happy, just get the job down.
I tried to do much the same. . .for two years. At first it was low key hostility, but once I put in my tuition assistance for my masters in health administration it became a more blatant hostility.
One of the nurses is a self proclaimed man hater, and she said I was just like all the other male nurses. Get in, get another degree, and get promoted. She was in the hospital for 25 years (a whole quarter century in the same job in the same hospital doing the same thing) and had yet to be promoted. I wonder why. . .
But as it is, I am leaving the whole sorry crew behind. I feel much better now.
Good luck, and don't tie yourself to the . . . :angryfire bunch of them.
Eegads... I have been either really lucky in my work - or have been blissfully unaware of everything except the face value of what is done. I have worked in 7 different hospitals some as the only male, others where I was in a small minority. I have never experienced a 'man-hater'. Sure I experienced individual nurses who hated me - but on observing them they also hated all other new staff/ or staff that challenged their way of operating/ in a nutshell as previously mentioned any negativity has been from individuals who for some reason or another have a hefty plank of a chip on their shoulder. The fact that these individuals where woman I believe has only limited relavance - of more relavance is your own ability to work professionally and not let personal bickering impact on how you perform your duties. A 'man-hater' will not rally much support or amunition against you if you are professional, ignore whimsical attempts at discreditting you and only show professional courtisy in response to their actions.
I am also a teacher and from classroom experience it is amazing how quickly sarcasm stops if the individuals saying it think that you dont get it or understand. (A quiet word with the student out of earshot after class also helps!!!)
we are here defending men's rights to practice nursing harassment free. Or did you not bother to notice it, Jay? No not likely. You are way too busy slamming us here.
:balloons: How could you be defending anything..... over 16,000 posts in 3 years... thats 5,000 a year aprox 15 per day.... do you have time to do anything else???? :rotfl:
What island do you work on? Hey, get out of there and find a place where you will be treated as a Nurse and not as a 'male'. I'd really like to know where in the US you work? Been an active and working female RN (and have a Master's in Nursing) for 31 yrs and this is almost funny, if it wasn't so sad. Again, get thee to a place where you can practice as a Nurse w/o this craziness...or you could file a discrimination suit and not have to work for a very long time! Ha, just kidding.
I've been working in our ER for nearly a year, and in lieu of recent events, was prompted to open this thread. I am the only male nurse in, not just the ER but in the entire hospital. The nurses I work with are very good at what they do, save for one fault. THEY HATE MALES! Despite their "friendly" and helpful demeanor there has always been some underlying hostility towards me. Not only that, I tend to overhear comments like "They only hired him because he's a male nurse." and "Guess who's YOUR partner today?" Even though this is a male nursing forum, Marci, I hope you are reading this.
One of the nurses I used to work with (who I miss dearly) suggested I try to "kill them with kindness." It didn't work. I brought homemade cheesecake. They ate it like hyenas at a slaughter, but not a single thank you from any of them.
OK here's my question: How do I attempt to solve this problem, without quitting my job (which I do love) without having to resort to murder? Has anyone run across this problem? How did you deal with it?
Please let me assure you that Freud was wrong, wrong, wrong. No offense but I do not envy you your male genitalia. Really - I think God has a great sense of humor, otherwise why make such a funny looking appendage? :) The only thing that is cool is the way you guys can pee anywhere.
Male bashing does bother me because I have three sons and I don't think that men deserve most of the negativity they get.
I haven't experienced it where I work. We love our guys. But the truth is the biggest gossip is one of the guys.
Making generalizations won't get people very far.
People who are fearful - they come in all shapes, sizes and sexes.
steph
Riding the fence, are we? I don't think that men OR women deserve ANY of the negativity they get. Less cruelness doesn't make it any more justified. You sound as if you're saying that if you didn't have any sons, that you'd have no problem with men (let alone women) getting the negativity they do.
:angryfire 
bunch of them.
do you have time to do anything else???? :rotfl:
JessicaInOr
88 Posts
Hear hear!!
What a crock!