How do you do it?

floridanurse1983 · Oct 2, 2011

No offense, tell your husband to do a little more. Or don't expect dinner or clean clothes on a regular basis. You shouldn't have to be superwoman.

bulletproofbarb · Oct 2, 2011

I dont have a husband and kids but I work two jobs and yes at times things fall apart, like when i get a day off I really dont want to spend it doing household chores and shopping. I'd rather relax do my hobbies and spend time with friends.

I work a combination of morning and afternoon shifts. That way when I am on an afternoon shift, I spend the morning doing the boring household stuff so I dont have to do it on my days off.

Sometimes I cook meals in advance and freeze then or live on frozen meals. For you, cooking in advance would be a better option. Making double of something and freezing half for the following week could be an idea.

I remember when I was a kid and both my parents worked. I'd come home and have to cook/heat up dinner (i think thats where I got my hatred of cooking from!) and saturdays were cleaning days. The whole house...urgh. It was just damn awful and I would hate to live like that. I guess thats why I remain single.

I dont really have any suggestions apart from advance cooking, but another one to make the hubby relaise you work is doing shift work or failing that, can you afford to work 4 days a week instead and set aside that fifth day for household crap.

Also, I think you may need to explain to hubby he needs to pull his weight. I gather he works too but he does contribute to the mess so really should be able to do some of the chores. Maybe leave him a list of stuff to do?

SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN · Oct 2, 2011

Heh. DH thinks he helps. Heh. Heh. WOOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Luckily, we have no children at home.

Can you nap for an hour before the kids get hoe?

Wise Woman RN · Oct 2, 2011

Nobody juggles it with ease, I don't care what they say.. put the stuff in the crockpot the night before.. then put it in the refrigerator. Load the coffee pot the night before, so you only need to turn it on... The hubby can help with stuff, make him a list... The kids can dust... As far as falling behind... you are in school, so dust bunnies are not a priority... If your kids are clean and fed, your house doesn't look like a "Hoarder's" house, and your dishes are done, (hubby's job,) that's enough for now.. Get help and support from your family, get your degree, then worry about being Suzy Homemaker...I used to make HUGE pots of soup and chili, pans of lasagna, then divide up and freeze... put your feet up when you get home, and recharge for a few... You are a mother and wife, but "maid" is not the definition of you... Love and laughter, doing well in school and just being with your family is more important right now than a magazine picture house... Take care, all the best...

Guest27531 · Oct 2, 2011

How do you handle your 2nd shift job? You know, your household. I recently returned back to work after being a SAHM for 2 years. I am trying to get back in the groove of things, but the laundry is piling up, I'm ordering out more, I'm just plain exhausted! I work 5 days a week (8hr days). I have to be at work at 5:30am every morning. When I get home I'm beat! I'm doing my best, but I'm falling behind. I keep saying I will throw something in the crockpot before I leave but that never happens. When I get home, I just want to relax. Between helping the kids with their homework and doing my own (online BSN) where is the time? My husband hasn't gotten use to me working either, he is expecting everything to just be the way they were when I was at home. I'm not superwoman, but so many women juggle it with ease. How do you do it all? How do you organize your after work hours/days? What's your secret?

I'm certain that many people will give you tips that will help you get organized. My days of caring for the whole family are past, so I will address a couple of other aspects that will also give you additional energy and the ability to cope with the enormous responsibilities you face:

1. Talk to your husband about sharing some of the household responsibilities. Ask him what he can do to contribute to the functioning of the household and care of the children. Once you see how he responds, you can take it from there. Hopefully, he is supportive of you returning to work and will find at least a few ways he can help.

2. Have a set schedule for everything. Once you start "living" the schedule, it will take increasingly less energy to get through the tasks of daily living.

3. Don't forget to laugh. Make it a point to laugh! That is, purposely find things to laugh about. There is a very important physiological reason that Laughter Yoga is catching on. Laughter will boost your immune system and keep your energies flowing.

4. This is the most important:

At the beginning of each new activity, take a minute to "ground and center" yourself. There are multiple techniques for doing this but the simplest, quickest and most practical way for nurses is to physically stop, take a few deep breaths, feel your feet on the floor and open your listening. This is one of the basic techiques of Holistic Nursing and can be used in ALL nursing (and home) situations. It takes less than one minute and it will change your world!

Mrs. SnowStormRN, RN · Oct 2, 2011

Thanks for all the great advice. Yes, my husband does occasionally help out (well he thinks he is helping, LoL). The list sounds great! I will try to do the crockpot thing and freezing meals. It just seems so easy for some people. I just think, how in the helens cabinet do they do it.

SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN · Oct 2, 2011

School on top of it is a killer. I did my BSN online and I worked, studied, dropped, and lived with a filthy house for a year. But live through it. The degree opens a lot of doors.

Mrs. SnowStormRN, RN · Oct 2, 2011

School on top of it is a killer. I did my BSN online and I worked, studied, dropped, and lived with a filthy house for a year. But live through it. The degree opens a lot of doors.

Yeap. I notice during the week I have headaches. I don't know if it's because I'm tired, or stressed. Trying to get it all done each day, and get to bed early so I can wake up well rested seems impossible. I figured I just need to get in a routine, and everything will eventually fall into place. As of right now, it's a hastle. Do you think I have time to fit in some Yoga? LoL! but not LOL!

itsmejuli · Oct 2, 2011

Put your foot down with the husband...he has to help you. Period.

If your kids are old enough, assign them chores.

Don't expect perfection from anyone, especially yourself.

Lynx25, LPN · Oct 2, 2011

I work 16 hour shifts. On these days, I do not cook. If I DO cook, it will be some crockpot shennanigans, that may or may not be overcooked.

I come home, I go to sleep for a couple of hours, and then I get up and go to work again. The boyfriend has -finally- figured out that he should just bite the bullet and fend for himself those few days.

A huge help is my little sister, who is a teen, and still lives with my parents. We live close, and I pay her twenty bucks a week to come over on Friday, and do all the laundry, and vacuum a bit. It's a HUGE help.

I like crockpot meals too... If I'm ambitious, I will put all the veggies and things I want in tuppeware ahead of time, so all I have to do is dump everything in the pot before leaving in the morning.

And seriously, make your kids do chores. There's no reason they can't be helping out. Tell them it builds character or something.

Mrs. SnowStormRN, RN · Oct 2, 2011

I work 16 hour shifts. On these days, I do not cook. If I DO cook, it will be some crockpot shennanigans, that may or may not be overcooked.
I come home, I go to sleep for a couple of hours, and then I get up and go to work again. The boyfriend has -finally- figured out that he should just bite the bullet and fend for himself those few days.
A huge help is my little sister, who is a teen, and still lives with my parents. We live close, and I pay her twenty bucks a week to come over on Friday, and do all the laundry, and vacuum a bit. It's a HUGE help.
I like crockpot meals too... If I'm ambitious, I will put all the veggies and things I want in tuppeware ahead of time, so all I have to do is dump everything in the pot before leaving in the morning.
And seriously, make your kids do chores. There's no reason they can't be helping out. Tell them it builds character or something.

I agree. My 10 year old has chores, my 4 yr old not so much (other than picking up behind herself) and my 3 month old just refuses to do her share. LOL!!!