How soon after graduation to start a family?

NurseyBaby'05, BSN, RN · Mar 12, 2005

Anyone? Anyone?

LydiaNN · Mar 12, 2005

If you want to go to the weekend program, I guess I would go ahead and wait a year before getting pregnant. If you're already realizing how hard it will be to work when you have a new baby, you don't want to end up in a position where you have to go back and don't have the weekend program option. I wouldn't rely on the unit director's discretion, that's for sure.

NurseyBaby'05, BSN, RN · Mar 12, 2005

That's what I'm thinking too. We were considering the possibility for daycare if need be for that one year, but would really rather not. I just feel like everytime the subject comes up, there's another reason to keep putting it off. These past two years it's been school. Part of me just wants to do it and work out the particualrs later. Then my brain kicks in. Thanks! I know recruiters are paid to tell new hires what they want to hear and sometimes leave out important details. Like, "After a year it's at the unit director's discretion and you may be able to do that. (but no one ever has and I doubt that he/she will let you. :lol2: )" I really appreciate your input and am glad to have my instincts validated.

SusanJean · Mar 12, 2005

I graduate in a few short weeks. Dh and I have been discussing starting a family off and on for the past two years. I'm torn between two schools of thought. Waiting until I have worked for a year and having first child after I've worked almost 2 years or getting started this summer/fall and giving birth when I've been there about a year. I definitely want to be working full time for at least six months. I have no reason to think my pregnancy will be eventful and would have to be put on bedrest. I'm relatively healthy, 28 years old and have no family hx of multiple birth or other pregnancy complications. The other issue is childcare. I would probably not be working full time after I have the baby. The hospital where I want to work has a weekend program (2 12's on Sat/Sun; full-time with full benefits), but they like new grads to have two years experience before they move to weekend program. I am looking at med-surg or step-down and when I spoke to the recruiter, she said that although policy for the weekend program is two years, that after one year it can be up to the discretion of the unit director. Opinions and experiences would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!

I don't want to be negative here, (just realistic) but keep in mind that that the longer you postpone pregnancy, the harder it becomes to conceive. (I started trying at 28, took me 5 yrs to get pg.)

Get the job you want, do the best job you can and work things out from there. Employers, by law, can not ask about children or pregnancy plans. If you are pregnant, it should not even be an issue (by law) in the hiring process. (There are exceptions in areas where environmental issues may cause problems to the fetus.) But overall, these topics are off limits.

Now if you have questions about childcare/benefits, maternity leave, etc and bring it up during the interview, that opens up the topic... but then you are the one to bring it up, not the employer. See the difference?

You and your dh obviously want to plan things to work as smoothly as possible. We did that too. :chuckle Kids have a way of completely undoing that for you... :uhoh3: So when you get there, don't just have a Plan A, but a Plan B, C, D...

NurseyBaby'05, BSN, RN · Mar 12, 2005

I hear ya. I figured I'd revisit the idea again in about six months and see how I feel then. I'd have a better idea of weather the unit director would work with me re: weekend program before 2 years and I don't think six months is going to make a drastic difference fertilitywise. Thanks again! :)

USA987, MSN, RN, NP · Mar 14, 2005

I think it all depends on how long it takes you to feel comfortable in you new role as an RN on your unit. We had a nurse orient to L&D. She was only off of orientation for 3 months before going on maternity leave. When she came back, we basically had to re-orient her completely.

NurseyBaby'05, BSN, RN · Mar 14, 2005

That's one of my concerns. I definitely want to be there at least 40 hrs/wk for six months minimum. I'm also planning to go on a med-surg or stepdown. We've had a lot of med-surg in clinical. Ob/Peds and critical care are another story. I wouldn't dream of taking extensive time off for a year at least. Dh and I were also talking last night and I think I want to go to Kennywood this spring or summer before I get pregnant. I haven't been able to go for 2 or 3 years b/c we've been so broke. So we'll probably revisit the idea toward the end of the summer. Thanks!

CHATSDALE · Mar 14, 2005

get as much experience as possible...talk to hr about what you could expect when you go on maternity leave...some places you have to work a certain length of time b/4 you can collect benefits for the 6-8 weeks you will be off for baby...check into their babycare facilities...

week end options sounds like a good deal...give you only two days to feel quilty...and it is the mother in us all that even when we feel secure in the day care we have provided when we hand over that little bundle quilt is what is handed back to us

all in all you sound like a smart young woman and that you have the potential to be a good mother and a good nurse

keep us in touch

NurseyBaby'05, BSN, RN · Mar 14, 2005

thank you! At the facility I'm looking at, you have to be full time six months before you're eligible for short-term disability. If I have to, I may try to work 3 12's overnight and have someone come over a few mornings a week so I can get my "beauty sleep." (AKA "not looking like death warmed-over sleep":chuckle ) Thanks again for the replies.

NurseyBaby'05, BSN, RN · Apr 24, 2005

Well, we decided to go the route of this summer. I took a job where I work 3 12's a week and am off the other four days. I'll also rotate days and nights each week. 7a-7:30p (my weekend off) one week and 7p to 7:30a(my weekend to work) the next. Dh also wound up with a new job and he's off on Thurs &Fri. Mon, Tue, Wed he works 4pm-12am and Sat/Sun he works 8am to 5pm. So between our two goofy schedules we'll only need someone to watch our child about two afternoon/early evenings a month and will still get to spend time together too.

That being said . . . we got a head start. They said to get started a month or two before I actually wanted to get pregnant b/c it usually takes a few tries. Well, we got it right the first time. :chuckle Our baby's due between Christmas and New Year's.

Thank you all for your advice and support. I'll be sure to keep you posted.

LydiaNN · Apr 24, 2005

Wonderful! Congratulations!