How to respond to a challenging family member?

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This is really bothering me - I've been working on my floor for a couple of years now and haven't had issues with family members before. I had a family member basically challenge me about another patient's care when I came in to check on their family member. We only have single rooms so it's not like it's distrupting their family member. She said "That patient is In a lot of pain" in a super challenging way basically trying to stare me down. I was left gaping like a fish because this is the third time she's challenged me - the first time she tried over a clock that was wrong and after I fixed it she still wasn't happy. Also she was upset I wasn't swabbing the patient's mouth more even though I had literally just done it 5 minutes before. I didn't know what to say to her.

How would you respond to those kinds of family members?

And btw - I was treating his pain. I had just given him IV pain meds 5 minutes before, offered heat and ice, got a lidocaine patch ordered and put on him, and had repositioned him multiple times.

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.

Why is the family member involved in another pts care that have NO relation to?

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I had a family member basically challenge me about another patient's care when I came in to check on their family member. We only have single rooms so it's not like it's distrupting their family member.

Forgive me; my insomnia last night is making my brain not work well.

Are you saying a family member challenged you about their family member? I'm assuming so since you said you only have single rooms so there would only be one patient in each room.

It sorta of sounds like you are saying someone is commenting on a patient who is not related to them; as if there are two patients in a single room?

Can't wrap my head around it so would you mind clarifying?

Thank you!

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Forgive me; my insomnia last night is making my brain not work well.

Are you saying a family member challenged you about their family member? I'm assuming so since you said you only have single rooms so there would only be one patient in each room.

It sorta of sounds like you are saying someone is commenting on a patient who is not related to them; as if there are two patients in a single room?

Can't wrap my head around it so would you mind clarifying?

Thank you!

The patient's family member was commenting on the patient across the hall. Two separate patients. The family member had no relation to the patient in pain that she commented on.

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
The patient's family member was commenting on the patient across the hall. Two separate patients. The family member had no relation to the patient in pain that she commented on.

Just tell the concerned family member "Thank you for you concern but I have everything/his pain/etc under control." I would also discuss HIPAA & how you can't discuss other patient's health or medication with anyone who isn't their family.

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The patient's family member was commenting on the patient across the hall. Two separate patients. The family member had no relation to the patient in pain that she commented on.

How did she know anything about the other pt?

I guess if you want to bring it out in the open, say something like "Yes, I'm working on it. You probably saw me go in there a few times and I'm headed back to see him as soon as I take care of your loved one. I appreciate you letting me know. We can't have too many eyes and ears. How are you doing?"

Or something dumb like that.

Why do you think she wasn't satisfied after you fixed the clock?

What do you think is really going on with her? is she super worried about her loved one? Is she just out of her element? Out of her comfort zone? Ill herself? Exhausted with the disruption in her routine and her life due to loved one's sickness? Other?

Is she just a scared, terrified person who doesn't know what life holds for her?

Or might she just be an arrogant hound dog?

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
This is really bothering me - I've been working on my floor for a couple of years now and haven't had issues with family members before. I had a family member basically challenge me about another patient's care when I came in to check on their family member. We only have single rooms so it's not like it's distrupting their family member. She said "That patient is In a lot of pain" in a super challenging way basically trying to stare me down. I was left gaping like a fish because this is the third time she's challenged me - the first time she tried over a clock that was wrong and after I fixed it she still wasn't happy. Also she was upset I wasn't swabbing the patient's mouth more even though I had literally just done it 5 minutes before. I didn't know what to say to her.

How would you respond to those kinds of family members?

And btw - I was treating his pain. I had just given him IV pain meds 5 minutes before, offered heat and ice, got a lidocaine patch ordered and put on him, and had repositioned him multiple times.

So Mr. Tree's family member was complaining about/questioning MRS. Ivy's care? It's none of his business.

There are several ways to handle this -- I might be tempted to just stare back with an incredulous, "I can't believe you said that" face.

A more appropriate way may be to set boundaries. "I'm afraid I cannot discuss another patient's care plan with someone who is not immediate family. I'm sure you wouldn't want me discussing Mr. Tree's care with another patient's family members."

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So Mr. Tree's family member was complaining about/questioning MRS. Ivy's care? It's none of his business.

There are several ways to handle this -- I might be tempted to just stare back with an incredulous, "I can't believe you said that" face.

A more appropriate way may be to set boundaries. "I'm afraid I cannot discuss another patient's care plan with someone who is not immediate family. I'm sure you wouldn't want me discussing Mr. Tree's care with another patient's family members."

Ruby, I love you! But I bet you are not really fat, old, ugly, or a biter.

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Specializes in Early Intervention, Nsg. Education.
Ruby, I love you! But I bet you are not really fat, old, ugly, or a biter.

OhEmGee! Thanks for reminding me of what must be the top ten most entertaining (and, of course, educational) threads in the history of the internet!

https://allnurses.com/nurse-colleague-patient/bitter-dried-up-579931.html :roflmao:

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Ms In Everybody's Business is pretty surely a personality disorder and you won't win no matter if Jesus himself appears and tells her you're the reincarnation of Flo. No nurse should have to deal with that for 12 hours. If you have a supportive manager, discuss it with her and suggest that nurses only be assigned to that patient for half shifts. And never set foot in that room unless you have a co-worker (witness) with you. She's the kind that will file a complaint on you.

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Specializes in SICU, trauma, neuro.
How did she know anything about the other pt?

I guess if you want to bring it out in the open, say something like "Yes, I'm working on it. You probably saw me go in there a few times and I'm headed back to see him as soon as I take care of your loved one. I appreciate you letting me know. We can't have too many eyes and ears. How are you doing?"

Or something dumb like that.

Why do you think she wasn't satisfied after you fixed the clock?

What do you think is really going on with her? is she super worried about her loved one? Is she just out of her element? Out of her comfort zone? Ill herself? Exhausted with the disruption in her routine and her life due to loved one's sickness? Other?

Is she just a scared, terrified person who doesn't know what life holds for her?

Or might she just be an arrogant hound dog?

Hmmm, I don't really think OP should encourage her. OP can't discuss the in-pain pt with the busybody vistor. End of discussion.

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Family member has a psych problem. She is focusing on your behavior.

I would not try to appease her. Notify the nursing supervisor .

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