How to be a polite patient/family member

[Semolina]

I hope you don't mind a question about something I've wondered about when I have been with family in the hospital. For a non-emergency request, is it better to press the call button, or to simply speak to someone in the hallway?

In several cases, the patient's assigned nurse was nearby, so I felt silly using the call bell and spoke directly to the nurse. But I always felt as if I was bothering the nurse, who was obviously busy.

We are polite, reasonable people and someone usually remembered to say "thank you" -- I was not asking for anything for myself, and I was not complaining, But I often felt vaguely uncomfortable -- as if I had done something wrong.

I'd love to hear any suggestions -- and I do realize the hospital experience is inherently unpleasant, and that could be the source of my discomfort.

[SwansonRN]

My question had nothing to do with speed of response to a request. The issue was how to properly make the request.

And I answered. Call bell :)

[Semolina]

The staff may not be able to explain call bells separately for every visitor, but we make a herculean effort to make sure that the patient understands.

You don't need to explain call bells separately to every visitor. However, if you have next of kin at the bedside for hours every day, it might be helpful to let them know how things work. This might be especially important if the patient cannot communicate verbally.

[MrChicagoRN, RN]

At one place, family would sometimes come to the unit clerk to make their requests. This is fine with me. Allows some actual face to face contact vs speaking to a disembodied voice coming out of the speaker.

[calivianya, BSN, RN]

I wish everyone would use the call bells. I feel like it protects the privacy of the other patients. Everyone deserves privacy while they are in the hospital, and a couple of nights ago I had a family member come find me while I was in another patients' room room doing my assessment. He did not walk through the open door, but he quite clearly saw me and got a good look at the patient and the condition she was in - intubated, receiving mechanical ventilation, sedated, etc. I told him I'd be over in a minute and when I got there I explained that he should use the call bell to get a hold of me. I feel like what family members who come and find people in the hallway forget is that other patients in the unit deserve privacy, not just their family. If you or your family member was critically ill and could possibly be dying, would you want random people who are not related to you and who are not part of your care team wandering around and sticking their faces in your room? I would think not. Please stay in your loved one's room and use the bell instead of potentially invading the privacy of other sick people to find help. It just bugs me how disrespectful this is for the other patients.

[Semolina]

If you or your family member was critically ill and could possibly be dying, would you want random people who are not related to you and who are not part of your care team wandering around and sticking their faces in your room?

Thanks for your comments, but I wouldn't dream of going, or even looking, into someone else's hospital room. I said specifically in my original question: "In several cases, the patient's assigned nurse was nearby, so I felt silly using the call bell and spoke directly to the nurse."

I didn't go looking for the nurse; he or she was in the hallway and in my direct line of sight from the patient's room -- which is why I questioned whether involving a third party in the transaction made sense. The nurse was standing by the door to the patient's room in the same hallway that one uses to enter or exit the facility. Being in the hallway does not, in itself, constitute a violation of anyone's privacy. Several nurses remembered us from previous hospitalizations and stopped to say hello to me me in the hall (bless them -- they were so good to my mother). Chatting in the hallway did not seem outrageously outside social norms.

Speaking of privacy, I've wondered why hospital room doors often seem to be wide open. Maybe there's a safety or convenience reason, or maybe some patients prefer it, but if I were the patient, I'd want the door at least half-closed, especially if the nurse were doing an assessment of me. Of course someone shouldn't summon you from the doorway when you are with a patient, but if the patient were my loved one, I would at least ask why the door was open.

By the way, several of you have assumed I raised this question because I'm a raving lunatic. Nope, the reason is that I will shortly be with a friend after surgery in a large, busy teaching hospital. Now that we've had this discussion I know that I can probably get a nurse to read the riot act about call bells in case there are requests for me to go fetch someone RIGHT NOW lol. People in pain aren't always reasonable.

[Semolina]

At one place, family would sometimes come to the unit clerk to make their requests. This is fine with me. Allows some actual face to face contact vs speaking to a disembodied voice coming out of the speaker.

That would be good if you were trying to avoid waking up the patient, or if the patient were confused. Yes, I know -- impossible to avoid waking/confusing them in a hospital, but it would be nice for families to feel they can at least try.

[calivianya, BSN, RN]

Sorry, Semolina, I don't think you are a lunatic - that was more of a general rant about the generic "you" people of the world - not directed at you in particular, and I should have stated that. Maybe I shouldn't come on here after getting off an exasperating 12 hour shift...

Thank you for coming in here and asking! :)

[DoeRN]

And please tell the person answering the call light what you need. Just don't say you need the nurse. I can't tell you how many times I've gone into a room when the person said they needed the nurse and it's something the tech or secretary could have taken care of. This helps so much with patient satisfaction because if I'm super busy and all you want is ice it might take me 20 minutes or so to get there. The secretary or tech could have brought the ice in much faster than me.

Not saying I don't want to help but sometimes you will get a quicker response if you say what you want. And I know you said you weren't talking about how quickly the staff came in. I just wanted to throw this out there.

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[DoeRN]

Speaking of privacy I've wondered why hospital room doors often seem to be wide open. Maybe there's a safety or convenience reason, or maybe some patients prefer it, but if I were the patient, I'd want the door at least half-closed, especially if the nurse were doing an assessment of me. Of course someone shouldn't summon you from the doorway when you are with a patient, but if the patient were my loved one, I would at least ask why the door was open. By the way, several of you have assumed I raised this question because I'm a raving lunatic. Nope, the reason is that I will shortly be with a friend after surgery in a large, busy teaching hospital. Now that we've had this discussion I know that I can probably get a nurse to read the riot act about call bells in case there are requests for me to go fetch someone RIGHT NOW lol. People in pain aren't always reasonable.[/quote']

I will close the door if I'm doing an assessment where I'm exposing the patient. But a lot of times the doors are open because the patient doesn't want to be closed and or the patient is confused and we can keep an eye on them passing by the room.

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[FineAgain]

family would sometimes come to the unit clerk to make their requests

Please don't! I worked as a Unit Secretary/Tech for years...they have a very busy job too! People come to the desk and say "My Mom wants water". "Who is your Mom"? "Ruth". [bangs head on desk]. "Ruth WHO"...(there are 40 patients)? All the while, the call lights are going off, the phones are ringing and there are transporters and Xray techs and nurses who need your attention. Not to mention the people waiting for Ruth's water...who can overhear sensitive information while they are standing there.

Do us a favor, stay in the room and use the call bell. Please and thank you!

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

That would be good if you were trying to avoid waking up the patient, or if the patient were confused. Yes, I know -- impossible to avoid waking/confusing them in a hospital, but it would be nice for families to feel they can at least try.

If the patient is asleep, then why would they need the nurse? Unless you can't wake them up, and then, I assume, trying NOT to wake them up would not be an issue.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Please don't! I worked as a Unit Secretary/Tech for years...they have a very busy job too! People come to the desk and say "My Mom wants water". "Who is your Mom"? "Ruth". [bangs head on desk]. "Ruth WHO"...(there are 40 patients)? All the while, the call lights are going off, the phones are ringing and there are transporters and Xray techs and nurses who need your attention. Not to mention the people waiting for Ruth's water...who can overhear sensitive information while they are standing there.

Do us a favor, stay in the room and use the call bell. Please and thank you!

We try to discourage family members from being at the desk for any reason due to the potential for overhearing HIPAA protected information. Stay in the room. Do not accost the nurse in the hallway. Use the call light.

If the patient is asleep, do not use the call light -- you're not calling to request ice/snacks/blankets for yourself, are you? Nurses have enough to do without fetching for the visitors. Either request the blankets when the nurse is already in the room for the patient or do without. And bring your own water and snacks.

Please don't share your water and snacks with the patient since they may have dietary restrictions and we need to monitor their intake.

Do not use the patient bathroom. We're monitoring their output as well. And we're dumping some really gross bodily fluids into the toilet. It's just wrong -- ask for the location of the visitor's bathroom at some point when the nurse is already in the room.

Do not use your cell phone in the room -- we don't know if you're really calling to update Uncle Charlie or stealthily taking pictures. Do not take pictures. If the patient is asleep, you don't want to disturb him with your call. If you must update family, please go to the family lounge or step off the unit to make your call.

Do not eat or drink in front of the patient if he cannot eat or drink. That's just plain rude. I wish I had a dollar for every time I've seen an NPO patient pathetically watch while a visitor consumes a bucket of chicken and a Big Gulp. That's why we made the rule about no eating or drinking in the patient room. The other reason is that no matter how many times you educate folks about the C. Diff that Aunt Elda has, we'd still find them eating their bucket of chicken in the room.

If you're there to support the patient, support the patient. That means that when meal trays are delivered, you can set it up so he can reach it, cut his meat, etc. If he can't reach the kleenex, you can hand it to him, and if he needs his pillows readjusted, please readjust them. On the other hand, leave his IVs, drains and tubes alone, even if they are in his way. He needs them, and you wouldn't be helping if you were to remove or readjust them.

Do not expect the nurse to entertain you when you're in the room. You are there for the patient, aren't you? So are we. We don't need to hear about YOUR gall bladder surgery. On the other hand, if the patient is allergic to paper tape and that's what we're about to use on him, please let us know.

Do not peer into other rooms on your way to and from the patient room. If there is a gaggle of doctors blocking your path through the unit, say "Excuse me" and step through the throng. Standing there listening "because I didn't want to interrupt them" is not polite and it's not cool. They really should know better than to block the hall, but some of them get excited and forget that.

Do not attempt to converse with patients you see walking in the hall. Often times they are concentrating very hard on walking and don't need the distraction.

Don't touch the computer in the room. Or the chair that goes with that computer. There are chairs for visitors -- use them, so that the nurse can use her chair when she's in the room charting.

Most of this is just common sense and politeness, but some folks seem to forget and need reminders.