How do you have non-confrontational conversations at work?

[lilund27]

I am part of the UBC where I work. I have been put in charge of finding or creating guidelines to having a conversational "safe zone" where my coworkers can address each other about issues that we notice without it being confrontational. (ex. "I noticed the IV tubing wasn't changed", "I noticed that our pt's room was littered with supplies and dirty linens after your shifts" ect.....)

A coworker of mine told me about the "purple dot" conversations she had at her previous employer.......Basically a nurse noticed something left undone, or could have been done better and would approach the other nurse with......"can we have a purple dot conversation?" They would discuss the issue in a way that was not punitive. It was not meant to hurt someone's feelings or make them feel like they were in trouble or getting reamed. Many times she noticed that the observed behavior was improved after the conversations.

Since I am in charge of creating these guidelines I would like to know if you have a similar program at your work that you can tell me about. Can you share your guidelines with me? I would also appreciate any evidenced based articles that you know of to support my guidelines, although its not required.

Thanks a lot!!

[Anonymous865]

Look at the book Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes are High by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, et al. It's available from Amazon.com ($11.19 kindle to $22.09 Hardcover)

It is helpful in having non-confrontational, productive conversations with co-workers. It's also useful in getting the conversation back into a safe mode when emotions flare.

[BrandonLPN, LPN]

Someone actually uttering the sentence "Can we have a Purple Dot Conversation?" would work to defuse a confrontation only insofar as the sheer absurdity of it would make everyone laugh.

It's scary to think that someone, somewhere, is paid actual American dollars to create and implement such programs.

I get the thought behind it but we really don't need some corporate policy on non-confontational conversations. I worked at a hospital that bought into the "crucial conversation" bit and spent God only knows how much money on inservices, multimedia and instructors to implement it. And no one, but no one, ever had a "crucial conversation".

The very phrase was simply became a running joke to everyone. "I think we need to have a crucial conversation about your hair" if someone was having a bad hair day, and so forth.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

In some unit cultures, no matter how gently one tries to have converation ie: "I noticed the IV tubing was not changed" the conversation never comes off as intended.

There should be a policy of some kind, and it should be up to the charge nurse to have these conversations with nurses. That a room is left unclean, IV tubing and the like--not really something I would like to get into a private corrective conversation on. Bedside reporting and hourly scripted rounding is what a number of facilities are doing to help alleviate these issues. I am not a huge fan of either--however, if the room is messy, pick it up or call housekeeping per policy--and IV tubing--just do it--if I am hanging fluids/meds and it is not labelled then a nurse would put up new tubing anyways. I would think.

If a co-worker's nursing practice continues to be in question, go to your charge nurse and have discussion. This is also something that can be brought up in "email blasts" from the manager on FYI's...."remember, IV tubing needs to be taken down after.....per policy" or "don't forget to call housekeeping to tidy up your patient's room!" or whatever. Also, if you need to co-ordinate care (which rarely happens, however...) then you need to have a time out to discuss how this is going to occur.

When it gets personal, when you are correcting co-workers, it rarely turns out well--most like a "you are not the boss of me" defensive conversation. And if multiple threads on the subject of communication is any indication, some consider this type of communication bullying.

Why don't you survey the staff? It could be a light "I know none of YOU do this, however, IF there was an issue with how you leave a patient's room, or IV tubing not changed...How would YOU feel most comfortable being asked about this?" I think you may find most of your nurses would say they never, ever do such things, but if they do, a conversation with the charge nurse would be better than a co-worker. But you never know, so ask.

[madwife2002, BSN, RN]

Someone actually uttering the sentence "Can we have a Purple Dot Conversation?" would work to defuse a confrontation only insofar as the sheer absurdity of it would make everyone laugh.

It's scary to think that someone, somewhere, is paid actual American dollars to create and implement such programs.

I get the thought behind it but we really don't need some corporate policy on non-confontational conversations. I worked at a hospital that bought into the "crucial conversation" bit and spent God only knows how much money on inservices, multimedia and instructors to implement it. And no one, but no one, ever had a "crucial conversation".

The very phrase was simply became a running joke to everyone. "I think we need to have a crucial conversation about your hair" if someone was having a bad hair day, and so forth.

Yep I worked for a company who did the whole 'Crucial Conversations' seminars and spend a lot of money training everybody

I was a manager at the time, I didnt get on well with my new manager she was useless, no experience in my speciality but she had a masters.

She would try that whole 'crucial conversations' stuff, when I did not agree with some of the things she would want me to do. It would make me laugh because I knew what she was doing and it was idiotic

[emtb2rn, BSN, RN, EMT-B]

...spend a lot of money training everybody...

.

Ahhh consulting - "if you're not part of the solution, there's plenty of money to be made in prolonging the problem."

Love the Demotivators.

[Altra, BSN, RN]

If an entire *program* is required to be *implemented* so that professional adults can have conversations ... the hiring process has obviously gone WAAAYY awry.

How do I have a nonconfrontational conversation? I use the verbal skills that we all should have -- decide what I want to get out of the conversation, choose the time & place thoughtfully, and choose my words to get the desired result. I also do not feed into another's disproportionately emotional reaction, if such occurs. I expect pretty much the same for/from any other adult with whom I work.

Edited to add: I guess I just truly don't understand -- if you are unable to have a conversation about IV tubing with a coworker ... how in the world are you functioning as a nurse, and having difficult conversations with patients?

[classicdame, MSN, EdD]

I conducted a class for Charge Nurses on emotional intelligence and, in the process learned there are many ways to approach this. Some people need to vent. Once that is done, ask what would make things better. If you can get hold of the Psychology Today March/April 2013 issue you will find good material.

[CaitRoseRN, BSN, RN]

Edited to add: I guess I just truly don't understand -- if you are unable to have a conversation about IV tubing with a coworker ... how in the world are you functioning as a nurse, and having difficult conversations with patients?

THIS :)

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

I conducted a class for Charge Nurses on emotional intelligence and, in the process learned there are many ways to approach this. Some people need to vent. Once that is done, ask what would make things better. If you can get hold of the Psychology Today March/April 2013 issue you will find good material.

I do find the term "emotional intelligence" quite a statement indeed, as one would hope a charge nurse would already possess this skill. However, the key term in all of this is "charge nurse". As a staff nurse, I would not nor think should not have corrective conversations with co-workers regarding their practice or lack thereof. Because at the end of the day, one can talk until purple, but we are powerless to actually do anything about it--and most people resent being told by a coworker what their supposed "failings" are as a nurse.

[jaad]

Something I've learned over the years is that people hating "b-ing sessions" so if there is a complaint, always come with a possible solution!

[Kipahni, RN]

At my work place they do rounding and bedside report so at the bedside if you notice something isn't done you can mention it there as in "hey are you planning on changing the line?" or " Can I get you hang a new bag of fluids before you go?" but we have a pretty nonchalant floor. They are having managers round everyday on the pt and if the pt has a problem they pull the nurse aside and have a "coffee chat" which really is them saying something to the effect of " here is what you are doing good here is what needs to be improved, what can we do to make that happen." if the nurse continues to not do what is asked then the coffee talk turns into a write up. enough write ups and the nurse is fired.

I will say that is has worked out pretty good with everyone.