I am now a unit manager. I came into this position after the guy who had it died. He was friends with and related to half of the facility. This is in a very small town.
Whenever I do anything the LPNs are offended that I think they're stupid. If the DON wants something implemented they take it out on me. I found out there's a weekly meeting of all clinical dep't heads and one of my LPNs has been attending and I never even knew the meeting existed. I do wound care and documentation on Thursdays. This week the worst wound was done and I only found out when I reminded one that I would be doing it. Only then did she tell me it was worse. The next day I told everyone I would be doing the change and, well, it was done. Obviously, this is just a small list of the constant undermining going on.
How do I handle this nonsense? I am being hamstrung and, while I know I shouldn't care, my feelings get hurt.
Specializes in Interested in hospice & palliative care.
Thanks everyone for your input. "Tincture of Time" is definitely the cure.
My feelings get hurt because I am wildly insecure. Always have been and it wasn't helped by my family. As an example, I came home from school one day after having been beaten up by a bunch of tough girls and my father's response to my tears was, "You must have done something to provoke them." That's the background. So I'm always wondering what I did wrong all the time every minute.
Thanks again, everyone. :)
Oh jeez! Can I ever relate to that! I once had my house "t p'd" and I got in trouble for it! HUH?!? I guess I did something to provoke it. I have found that once people discover your weak spot/insecurity they will aim for it mercilessly. And constantly wondering what you have done "wrong" is exhausting. I have found in my own experience that standing up for yourself is invaluable - in a firm direct and professional way. The funny thing is, they are all probably just a insecure as you are but do a better job at hiding it. When I'm having one of those days, I remind myself that most of my co workers are not my friends and that if I (or they ) were to leave tomorrow I would most likely never speak to any of them again. That gives me some perspective. I'm still working on the thick skin, too. Good luck to you and thanks for allowing me my 2 cents.
One of her sisters is an aide in my unit and shift. One of her daughters is an aide on 2nd shift.
Two of their nieces are aides on my unit, one 1st, one 2nd shift.
The ex-unit manager's sister is on my shift.
The scheduler/pt unit clerk is the DON's SIL.
One of my LPN's 1st shift is somehow related to them all.
That's just a beginning.
Hooo boy.....You are in a BAD situation all right. Do you work in my town???? Must be a small town thing because it's like that here. That explains WHY they're being all snotty to you, however. You're the 'outsider' for whatever reason. Bleah. I still say do what's right and be consistent and fair, and you will earn respect. And try to make 'friends' with whomever is the key family member....couldn't hurt
Does not matter, set standards and benchmarks, get management to support you, let the troops know that standards, and hold everybody accountable regardless of any underlying nepotism.
I feel for you in my small town in the last 5 years they have ran off every new DON that comes in. Really good ones too. I dont think they will run off the current one He frankly has cahunas to put it bluntly. When he came in I was relieved because he has already gotten rid of one LPN that was terribly lazy and full of problems.
I use to be the 6-2 day charge nurse. now after 4 years of being department head. I dont have many friends in the nursing department either except the few other department heads. Which I dont see so much because they are having to cover nights a lot.
Believe me they look to see any mistake you make and call you out on the carpet for it. I used to try to have orders done for them charts ready on new admissions. My hours where cut so these folks are going to have to get with the real world soon.
Plus MDS taking 90% of my time just finding the documentation I need that usually is not there. I use to get peeved at the people that would hound me about the monthly summaries and stuff when all I wanted to do was just get my meds passed and treatments completed.
I dont know but I guess I have developed a thicker skin. It was very hard for me to have to right up a coworker that was a good personal friend. that is why I really work hard on not developing close relationships with coworkers like I did at first.
that has been different for me because when I was at the hospital after a night shift we would all go out for breakfast after A
I feel for you in my small town in the last 5 years they have ran off every new DON that comes in. Really good ones too. I dont think they will run off the current one He frankly has cahunas to put it bluntly. When he came in I was relieved because he has already gotten rid of one LPN that was terribly lazy and full of problems along with an attitude to boot.
I use to be the 6-2 day charge nurse. now after 4 years of being department head. I dont have many friends in the nursing department either except the few other department heads. Which I dont see so much because they are having to cover nights a lot.
Believe me they look to see any mistake you make and call you out on the carpet for it. I used to try to have orders done for them charts ready on new admissions. My hours where cut so these folks are going to have to get with the real world soon.
Plus MDS taking 90% of my time just finding the documentation I need that usually is not there. I use to get peeved at the people that would hound me about the monthly summaries and stuff when all I wanted to do was just get my meds passed and treatments completed.
I dont know but I guess I have developed a thicker skin. It was very hard for me to have to write up a coworker that was a good personal friend. that is why I really work hard on not developing close relationships with coworkers like I did at first.
that has been different for me because when I was at the hospital after a night shift we would all go out for breakfast after A LONG NIGHT but I was only 19 then.
Until I had to start doing some counseling forms - I called them coaching forms , I was not respected either. At times I dont feel I get the respect I deserve either but realize that is only due to administrator and BOM favorites who have tied the hands of nurses way to many times in this facility and thus the turnover.
I am not too far behind them put in 20 applications in the city last week and am hopeful for a positive change in the near future. I have lasted 5 years most that have left tell me I am a gluton for punishment lol.
Keep your head up and dont let them see you upset that will help a lot. Stay cool as a cucumber and yell and scream when you get home. I just took a long walk that is my stress reliever and glad it was warm enough to do it so I did not revert to the cookie jar!!!
Sounds like they are maybe resentful or jealous possibly. We have an rn that is charge/ um on days and when she was forced into her current position I felt so bad for her I loved getting report from her. Sue was so on top of things and never not one time did I have to wonder about a single thing when I came behind her. Now I get to work behind some know it all nurses who are just hateful and alot of times disorganized. Either they'll get their big girl panties on and get over their issues or they can sit and sulk choice is theirs. Don't let them interfere with your work. Nurses I work with mainly fist shift don't like any type of a change and try to rebel against it when possible. In the end they will dig a hole deep enough for them to fall into. I've had my feelings hurt a few times by my coworkers and like you am working on thickening my own skin. This is the stuff they never tell you about in school.
I'm so sorry to hear you are having problems. I had some problems at work my self I went from CNA/unit sec to LPN and wow what a mess. I ended up so sick because I worried so my nurse manager sent me to a therapist. I wasn't sure at first but it did really help talking about it with someone and he told me that I couldn't change them so I needed to change my reaction to them. It took some time and I still have to work at but it has gotten better. I tell myself before every shift I can only do my best and some days that is a stretch lol. Just laugh and know that you do a good job so the jokes on them.
Actually, somehoe, some way, it's almost as if my hazing is over and I am being accepted and included. Very nice. And I am collaborative in natured and that is beginning. YAY!
Thanks, all, for the support. SOmetimes it's just time.
mmh2
75 Posts
Oh jeez! Can I ever relate to that! I once had my house "t p'd" and I got in trouble for it! HUH?!? I guess I did something to provoke it. I have found that once people discover your weak spot/insecurity they will aim for it mercilessly. And constantly wondering what you have done "wrong" is exhausting. I have found in my own experience that standing up for yourself is invaluable - in a firm direct and professional way. The funny thing is, they are all probably just a insecure as you are but do a better job at hiding it. When I'm having one of those days, I remind myself that most of my co workers are not my friends and that if I (or they ) were to leave tomorrow I would most likely never speak to any of them again. That gives me some perspective. I'm still working on the thick skin, too. Good luck to you and thanks for allowing me my 2 cents.