How should I handle this situation?

grannynurse FNP student · Aug 22, 2005

Hi everyone...
Id appreciate some advice....
My best friend was recently in the hospital. He went in with sudden vision changes to find out that there was something abnormal on his CAT scan...the MD's told him either a brain tumor or vascular bleed. Turned out that it was a vascular bleed and he should be fine. Anyway that is not what I need advice for.
While we were in the hospital his nurse was VERY rude. I understand how stressful nursing can be but she was TOTALLY out of line. In no way did I or my friend do or say ANYTHING rude to her what so ever...in fact when she was being rude I totally bit my tongue...just wanted to be there for my friend.
ONE example (of many)...my friend told his nurse that he was feeling dizzy. Her response was...and I quote word for word "you are NOT dizzy, I took your blood pressure and it was fine. If you were dizzy your blood pressure would be high". Now I am just an SN but even I knew that was ridiculous as there thousands of reasons you can be dizzy...my friend who was in tears already just replied, "ok I guess im not".
Also my friend, who hadnt been in a hospital for 10 years or more, told his nurse (very calmly infact) that he was afraid of needles...her response was..."if you were afriad of needles, why did you come here?" Of course her tone was less than desirable. At this point my tongue was almost bleeding but I said nothing...then my friend asked if he could go out to have a cigarette...something I dont condone but alas its not my choice. Her response was (this was the first time he asked too) "I dont care what the hell you do". I understand that it is a liablity for her to let him get up so I, not her, had to explain that to him.
I guess I was just very disapointed in her....I don't like that she treated my friend that way, especailly when he was sooo vulnerable! I'm torn, my friend has asked me what I would do if I were him, and honestly I don't know. Is this something that I should report or not? If she treated my friend this way (and he wasnt a confrontational pt at all) how does she treat other patients??? I know everyone has bad days but does this condone her behavior? I dont want to disrespect or make harsh judgments or anything so I am asking what you guys think is an appropriate action? Thanks, all advice is welcome.

If I were your friend, I would write a letter to the DON, outlining just what transpired and her attitude. She may have just been having a bad day or this could be her usual attitude. In either case, she needs to have it drawn to her attention, as does her nurse manager and the DON. It is not a matter of your friend being confrontational, it is her misinformation to him. Too many people pass off a poor attitude, as someone having a bad day. There is no excuse for being so confrontational. And, with some, it could result in them delaying seeking medical help because of a fear of such an attitude.

Grannynurse :balloons:

fledgling · Aug 22, 2005

If I were her manager, I would want to know how badly she treated this patient.

Nurses have made complaints about other nurses on this BB before, but usually the complainant did not actually witness what transpired. Since you did, you have first hand knowledge and I believe a duty to report this woman's behavior. To my mind, there is no excuse for her behavior. I really feel for your friend.

Best wishes,

Michelle

Hi everyone...
Id appreciate some advice....
My best friend was recently in the hospital. He went in with sudden vision changes to find out that there was something abnormal on his CAT scan...the MD's told him either a brain tumor or vascular bleed. Turned out that it was a vascular bleed and he should be fine. Anyway that is not what I need advice for.
While we were in the hospital his nurse was VERY rude. I understand how stressful nursing can be but she was TOTALLY out of line. In no way did I or my friend do or say ANYTHING rude to her what so ever...in fact when she was being rude I totally bit my tongue...just wanted to be there for my friend.
ONE example (of many)...my friend told his nurse that he was feeling dizzy. Her response was...and I quote word for word "you are NOT dizzy, I took your blood pressure and it was fine. If you were dizzy your blood pressure would be high". Now I am just an SN but even I knew that was ridiculous as there thousands of reasons you can be dizzy...my friend who was in tears already just replied, "ok I guess im not".
Also my friend, who hadnt been in a hospital for 10 years or more, told his nurse (very calmly infact) that he was afraid of needles...her response was..."if you were afriad of needles, why did you come here?" Of course her tone was less than desirable. At this point my tongue was almost bleeding but I said nothing...then my friend asked if he could go out to have a cigarette...something I dont condone but alas its not my choice. Her response was (this was the first time he asked too) "I dont care what the hell you do". I understand that it is a liablity for her to let him get up so I, not her, had to explain that to him.
I guess I was just very disapointed in her....I don't like that she treated my friend that way, especailly when he was sooo vulnerable! I'm torn, my friend has asked me what I would do if I were him, and honestly I don't know. Is this something that I should report or not? If she treated my friend this way (and he wasnt a confrontational pt at all) how does she treat other patients??? I know everyone has bad days but does this condone her behavior? I dont want to disrespect or make harsh judgments or anything so I am asking what you guys think is an appropriate action? Thanks, all advice is welcome.

babynurselsa, RN · Aug 22, 2005

I would encourage your friend to make a report to the manager. He could also contact patient care services.

If this was the attitude of the person who was supposed to be caring for him and her demeanor it goes beyong inappropriate, and should be reported.

bellehill, RN · Aug 22, 2005

We have a nurse on our unit that I thought of immediately when you were telling your story. She doesn't mean to sound the way she does but just comes across as a horrible uncaring person. We have complained to managers and patients/families have complained. At least it is documented but nothing has happened yet.

I would have your friend talk to the manager or both of you talk to the manager. This type of behavior should not be tolerated from any nurse. I'm sorry this happened to your friend, hope everything works out okay for them.

GrnHonu99, RN · Aug 22, 2005

Thanks so much for the advice. Thats what I figured. I was pretty amazed that she used a "cuss" word in front of him...

Thanks for the concern for my friend, hes actually my long time best friend/roommate. He is coming home today from the hospital. Luckily it was not a tumor but a vascular bleed in the Pons of the brain. The MD felt that it was not necc to do surg right now bc of the location (too risky). He is scared to death, never had any health problems before.......I guess thats what made me more mad than anything...as a nurse she should have assessed that and acted appropriately. I just wanted to stand up and yell at her, "dont you have ANY compassion?" Its such a shame that some people act this way...

Anyway...so do we just call the hospital and ask for the charge nurse in the ER? We know her name and what shift she works so we can properly identify her. Would it be more appropriate to write a letter?

Thanks again!

sbic56, BSN, RN · Aug 22, 2005

He should report her. I don't think most people would think twice if the kid at McDonald's or the grocery checker treated them so rudely as she treated your friend. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect. She is totally out of line and surely treats all her patients as miserably. With enough complaints, her manager will hopefully correct the situation, but if no one reports her, she is free to continue on as nurse Ratched indefinitly.

jkaee · Aug 22, 2005

Thanks so much for the advice. Thats what I figured. I was pretty amazed that she used a "cuss" word in front of him...
Thanks for the concern for my friend, hes actually my long time best friend/roommate. He is coming home today from the hospital. Luckily it was not a tumor but a vascular bleed in the Pons of the brain. The MD felt that it was not necc to do surg right now bc of the location (too risky). He is scared to death, never had any health problems before.......I guess thats what made me more mad than anything...as a nurse she should have assessed that and acted appropriately. I just wanted to stand up and yell at her, "dont you have ANY compassion?" Its such a shame that some people act this way...
Anyway...so do we just call the hospital and ask for the charge nurse in the ER? We know her name and what shift she works so we can properly identify her. Would it be more appropriate to write a letter?
Thanks again!

I would call the hospital and ask for the Nurse Manager of the ER first. If you don't get a satisfactory response, then ask to speak to the Director of Nursing. In addition to this, I'd write a general letter explaining the treatment you recieved and send a copy to the nurse manager of the ER, the DON, and the president/CEO of the hospital. Also if you can get the name of someone in charge of patient reps, send one their way as well.

I hope your friend continues to improve. Let us know how he's doing, and what, if anything, came from your complaints.

sbic56, BSN, RN · Aug 22, 2005

Anyway...so do we just call the hospital and ask for the charge nurse in the ER? We know her name and what shift she works so we can properly identify her. Would it be more appropriate to write a letter?

I'd probably call and ask to speak with the nurse manager or charge nurse of the ER, but writing a letter cc'd to the DON is sure to get a response!

CEN35 · Aug 22, 2005

If you have went back since, see if you see that nurse. Say Hi, see how she/he responds. If they are fine, probably a bad day. If they are totally rude again....... Write a letter to the CEO, COO or Chief Nurse of the hospital with the nurses name and floor in the letter.

If that were me, the answer would be: "Um no, he could be dizzy from the bleed becoming worse, a tumor, high blood pressure, low blood pressure, hypoglycemia, vertigo, sinusitis and/or any of the medications he may be taking/getting in the hospital. All you did is r/o hypertension. Now how about chilling out, he did nothing to you. Actually he and all the other patients are responsible for your paycheck. Have a nice day!!!!"

That would be my response........

Later! :)

me

GrnHonu99, RN · Aug 22, 2005

If you have went back since, see if you see that nurse. Say Hi, see how she/he responds. If they are fine, probably a bad day. If they are totally rude again....... Write a letter to the CEO, COO or Chief Nurse of the hospital with the nurses name and floor in the letter.
If that were me, the answer would be: "Um no, he could be dizzy from the bleed becoming worse, a tumor, high blood pressure, low blood pressure, hypoglycemia, vertigo, sinusitis and/or any of the medications he may be taking/getting in the hospital. All you did is r/o hypertension. Now how about chilling out, he did nothing to you. Actually he and all the other patients are responsible for your paycheck. Have a nice day!!!!"
That would be my response........
Later! :)me

LOL...now if I could only think that quick on my feet! My friend is due to be released today....infact I am expecting him any minute. This nurse was his ER nurse and I didnt see her after he was admitted to the Neuro ICU. Although his new nice nurse came in and we mentioned how rude the previous nurse was and the new nurse said "really, thats too bad...she gave me a really bad report on you". Im not exactly sure what she meant by that but I didnt ask any further..I mean I dont know what she could have written...who knows....I think I will propose the letter idea to him after he has come home and settled in. While we were in the ER my friend made the comment that he hated the hospital and his experience had been so awful. After he was transfered he had two great nurses in the neuro ICU and another really great one in the Neuro step down unit...his attitude changed and he was very thankful that those nurses took the time to be interested in his condition.

The ICU nurse even let me stay way past visiting hours, even after she kicked out the other family members of other patients....I think she sensed how scared he was.

So kind of an unrelated question. Once my roommate comes home what are some tell tale signs of the bleed starting up again? THe MD said that the bleed should get better over the coming weeks and it shouldnt continue to bleed...he prob will have to walk with a cane for awhile. He has pretty bad headaches which acc to the MD should lessen with time...his vision is disturbed and the MD said it is a possibility that he may not recover 100% but he should regain most of his function. I know the obvious to watch for, ie worse vision dist. worse headaches, orientation...but any more not so obvious things?? Thanks again guys..

RoxanRN · Aug 22, 2005

I would follow-through with these wonderful suggestions (most definitely talk and/or write letters to the manager, her boss, her boss's boss, and her boss's boss's boss, etc - all the way to the CEO). If, for some reason, you have to go back to this ER (or any other ER for that fact) and are treated like this again, demand to speak to the charge nurse then and there. You might even consider getting the house supervisor involved, too. Even if the nurse was having a bad day, there is absolutely no excuse for the attitude. If I had been the nurse, I'd have been hung from the nearest yard-arm.

Also, next time (if there is a next time - I hope not), don't hesitate to speak up for your friend if (s)he is unable to. No one has to know you are a SN... just a knowledgeable 'civilian.'