How do I break up with my study buddy?

GGT1 · Aug 3, 2008

Sometimes it is hard to tell the truth and often the truth hurts.... here is one additional suggestion. Find one or 2 more people that are willing to be a part of a study group and have a scheduled study time (once or twice a week or before a test). Then if you don't feel like participating that day you can just not go and the others still have someone to study with. That will also give your current study buddy someone else to go to.

Good Luck.

NurseJeanB · Aug 3, 2008

Nursing school is all about knowing yourself and knowing what study style works best for you. I really benefitted from being in study groups even when I had to "teach" because there was no better way to guarantee that I would know the information before I taught it to someone else (plus my study buddies learned best reviewing the information verbally).

That isn't to say that you should suffer having a study buddy forced on you. You said it yourself, that you study best alone. Also my study buddies didn't just expect everyone to just give them the answers, we reviewed the information together, quizzed each other and it was collaborative.

Please don't feel bad. You have to establish your ideal study situation. It is what you need to do to succeed.

Best regards,

Jean

Ladypie · Aug 3, 2008

Nursing school is all about knowing yourself and knowing what study style works best for you. I really benefitted from being in study groups even when I had to "teach" because there was no better way to guarantee that I would know the information before I taught it to someone else (plus my study buddies learned best reviewing the information verbally).
That isn't to say that you should suffer having a study buddy forced on you. You said it yourself, that you study best alone. Also my study buddies didn't just expect everyone to just give them the answers, we reviewed the information together, quizzed each other and it was collaborative.
Please don't feel bad. You have to establish your ideal study situation. It is what you need to do to succeed.
Best regards,
Jean

I agree with this. While you can't hinder your own studies, I know that I would also benefit from teaching others the material. I also know I would hope that another student would help me if I had trouble.

If this happened to me, I would tell her that I will try to help her as I can, but there will be times when I will need to be on my own. I like the idea of trying to find her some other study partners. Some people are not very good at finding their own resources, and need people to lead them.

If she were just slower to grasp things I would be more willing to help. A true moocher who just wants to copy my work without doing any on her own would not get my help.

mrosev14 · Aug 3, 2008

I dealt with this problem last semester. I had a fellow pre-nursing student in both my microbiology and A&P II class. At first we clicked because she was just nice, but as soon as we sat down for the first study session I knew it was a terrible match. She was needy, lazy and just honestly didn't care as much as me. Anyways, I carried her through the semester of her like you said being an academic moocher, and dropped her before our A&P final because I had to put all my study effort into it, not chit-chat. Needless to say, she failed the class and obviously didn't get into our nursing school.

I don't have to worry about her this semester, and have learned to be very selective when choosing your study buddies, especially when you are on the smart end of the class.

Good luck, I think I would just avoid her, I probably couldn't tell her the truth with fear of hurting her.

LMRN10 · Aug 4, 2008

Sometimes it is hard to tell the truth and often the truth hurts.... here is one additional suggestion. Find one or 2 more people that are willing to be a part of a study group and have a scheduled study time (once or twice a week or before a test). Then if you don't feel like participating that day you can just not go and the others still have someone to study with. That will also give your current study buddy someone else to go to.
Good Luck.

But if I were the person being "broken up" with, I'd be a little more upset that she keeps "blowing me off" rather than come out and tell me the truth...I think if you go about explaining it the right way, it won't hurt nearly as bad, or at all! JMO!

Lori

OnTrek · Aug 4, 2008

My best nursing school friend and I were never able to study together - we had very different learning styles and even though we tried repeatedly to study together - it just never worked for us. Yet we remained very close friends. Each person has to do what is right for them to succeed. Nursing school is hard enough without making it any harder by studying with someone who doesn't work for you. Be open honest and move on!

DBFNP · Aug 4, 2008

Be Honest!

Talk to her, dont go behind her back or lie it wont be the best in the long run!

Challenge her if you dont want to get rid of her and if you do challenge her and tell her why.

DaFreak71 · Aug 4, 2008

Been there, done that! I'm a loner when it comes to studying. I was lucky enough to find one person to study with during my first two semesters of nursing school and we were a perfect match! I had to drop in our third semester and will graduate this December, so our study paths diverged.

At one point in time we let one other person into our study group and it was immediately obvious he was a study moocher. It took ONE session and he was never invited back. We asked him during that one session why he hadn't read the material and why he didn't have anything to contribute. He laughed at first, but quickly got the point that we weren't happy.

Due to my high grades I've had many requests to study with others, I always tell them that I do better on my own. It's true and I don't have to feel taken advantage of. I will, from time to time, give a copy of my notes to a classmate who was out sick, fell behind, etc., if I know that they are typically a hard worker. Other than that...it's a sink or swim situation.

missjennmb · Aug 4, 2008

I guess this is why I would never commit to something like a "study buddy" on more than a single event basis. I'm in a math class atm with a very tough teacher teaching a full fall courseload over the summer. We have an exam EVERY class and no reviews prior. People are bailing left and right. It is just a mess. I've been doing REALLY good in the class (100's/97's and the class avg last test was a 65), and the teacher likes to announce that kind of stuff (which is another thread all together) so everyone knows that I'm doing well and last week I gave my number out to almost a dozen people who were doing poorly. I admit I've missed a few calls due to work (gave out my home number not my cell) but I met one guy and we studied together for a couple of hours last week and spent about a half hour on the phone with another classmate today. We have class tonight and then our final next week. I haven't promised to study with anyone next week at all. If I can, I will. If I can't, I won't. Nobody can get their feelings hurt because I have not committed to doing anything ahead of time, yk? There is one student that will be in my nursing class with me that I will probably study with or somehow share notes with, because we're going to try to carpool and studying otw/from is atleast MY plan, but thats about it.

I don't think you should make a huge deal out of it because then it is kinda an "in your face" thing, yk? Definitely let her know that you're having some trouble studying with that method and want to try something else, or what have you, but I think a big dramatic "we need to have a meeting" kind of thing may just blow the situation out of proportion. Don't lie, but if it was me, I would just be very minimalist about it and just say that you want to study on your own this week etc. You never know, maybe after going it alone for awhile, your buddy will develop some independent skills that could help you out later on down the road (or in clinical or some other "non-study" related part of nsg school)