How Do I Help Them?

[KatePasa]

My classmates who are in peril, being them. And, themselves being what they need to help.

We are three semesters in now, and I'm doing great and loving it. However, it's not the same for some of my classmates. At the end of the semester, there are those who sit on the fence. At the end of the semester, I get a stream of folks who need help. I don't know if it's out of panic, trust, or the recommendation of my teachers (for some reason, the teachers do say "Go ask her for help".)

At the end of last semester, there were quite a few that were about to fall out of the boat after a few fiascos of tests that only a few of us passed. For the final exam and simulation, I hustled and created some online study guides. As what I view as a result, my grades on the final and sim were not up to par with my other grades.

Now, here were are with the final test of the semester looming. I am conflicted by wanting to help the stream of people who want to study with me and wanting to continue making the grades I covet. It's more than grades to me though and it's more than classmates that need help.

It's like a battle at ethical odds. I want to be the compassionate, kind nurse who gives of herself when someone needs her. I want to be the excellent nurse who has the means and knowledge to solve any problem. I want to be a team player and a friend, but years of disappointments in that arena have lead me to be a lone wolf.

Please advise.

[AOx1]

If you benefit from studying in a group of similarly prepared students, then do so. I would not help the unprepared. Do you want your future nurse to be too lazy to do their own work, or unintelligent? Those who aren't passing are either: facing too many outside challenges to be focused, not studying enough/correctly, or are lazy/partying/not smart enough. This is not your problem. They need to make the right choices on their own, you can't carry them. They must take NCLEX on their own and practice largely on their own. No one will carry them then. Help only those who are trying and prepared, and ONLY if it won't hurt your own performance.

[prof joe]

I would refer the students back to the instructors. There could be an area that the instructors need to review or change their teaching styles if the majority of students are not getting the information. The students may not have issues with the information but may have trouble taking the exam itself. Test anxiety!!

Good Luck

[ZenLover, MSN, RN, NP]

learn assertiveness and say no now. You don't want to know what life will be like on the floor if you don't learn to be fair, yet stand up for yourself now. Seriously, practice on fellow students before it becomes bullying coworkers. If you are having to question it, don't do it. I wouldn't want anyone helping me or studying with me that wasn't "feeling it" anyway. kwim? The people with the problem, well that is their problem isn't it?

[whichone'spink, BSN, RN]

This is why I have always done best when I studied alone. It's better to figure concepts out on my own as opposed to leaving a group study session more confused than ever, because everyone else didn't have those concepts figured out either. Very few students are on the ball, even though we are so close to graduation.

[Kendel.G]

Encourage them to actually study for themselves.

If your profs are recommending other students to you maybe take a few minutes to type up a sheet of study techniques you use and copy the links of study resources. Print the sheets out and tuck them in your binder, when someone asks pull it out and give it to them. That way you impress your profs by helping and have time to study.

in the end its their education and they should put in the work. Its not your job ti study for them.

Keep up the good work! You're going to be a great nurse!

[mandy1623]

You sound like a very caring person and that is exactly what patients need, so do what you need to get through school so you can help patients that really actually need you. You classmates need to learn how to solve their own problems anyway, they wont always have someone there to help get them through tough situations. It's kind of tough love and they'll be better in the long run if they can figure out how to study for themselves without relying on someone else. Good luck!