How to deal with co-worker's language?

[bethin]

I work med surg. Our unit coordinator who does a great job (most of the time) continues to use derogatory names for gays, lesbians, and blacks. I'm talking about the n word and the f word (not the four letter one). She used to be a close friend but when I found out how racist she is I backed off and explained to her in private that I cannot tolerate those words nor do I appreciate her using those words in front of me. She refused and thus we are no longer close.

Now nurses are asking me (an aide) to talk to her further about her language. She sits at the desk, cusses, uses the above words and expresses her views on the death penalty, which in her opinion they should be shot, and discusses other hot topics like religion and politics. I do not think that the workplace is the place to discuss these topics. Our nurse's station is open with no glass and pt's rooms are close by and visitors walk by and stare at her.

She was recently written up for going off (LOUDLY) and cussing up a storm. She acted extremely unprofessional. I have made anonymous complaints about this but nothing happens. Honestly, she's an embarrassment to the facility.

I've made complaints and so have others. What else can I do?

[Jamesdotter]

I had a nurse manager like that once (well, not that bad, but she did use foul language and would read out her staff at the nurses' station in front of whoever was there) We complained, but nothing was done by management until she made the mistake of going off at one of the doctors--and it wasn't even on our unit! Then she was asked to resign.

Have you and your colleages tried writing a letter to the powers that be, quoting her verbatim, and mentioning "public relations"? We succeeded in effecting a change by using that tactic in another situation.

[rn/writer, RN]

If you have written as individuals and gotten nowhere, try writing as a group with everyone who agrees signing the letter. Cite several instances with dates and times and specific terms used, and say that there are many other examples if more are needed.

You might also consider getting a small voice-activate tape recorder and using it when needed. Do inquire about the legalities of doing so. Each state is different. In my state, only one of the parties (that would be you) needs to know that the conversation is being recorded. And that is in the case of using the material for legal purposes. There may not be any prohibition when using it informally.

If a patient or a visitor ever complains, by all means, direct them to someone above the offender in authority. We might be asked to live with our own dirty laundry, but once word starts getting out to the public, it can be quite a different story.

You might want to look into whether or not her constantly offensive speech contributes to creating a hostile work environment. Does she direct her crude comments toward individuals who "qualify" for her contempt? That can up the ante for the consequences.

I think your best bet is to present a united front to management and stress the unprofessional demeanor she exhibits. She is not a good representative of the hospital.

At the same time, if you find her acceptable in other areas and this is a fly in the ointment, build her up where you appreciate her abilities. Give her a reason to feel she has something to lose, rather than use this one deficiency to make her feel she's already lost everything. Reward the good things she does. You might even take her aside now and then and thank her for the shifts where she has contained her rough talk. Tell her that her efforts mean a lot. Do this even if she didn't do a perfect job. Reward improvement. Give her a positive way to be recognized. For some people, this kind of speech is what they grew up with. It's normal. You can model and reinforce a new normal.

Let her know that you can separate her (a valued colleague) from her behavior. In doing this, you will increase the chances that she will get the point, you will model better behavior for her, and you will help her to be able to face the embarrassment of accepting what will amount to public correction.

You will have to weigh the options and strike a balance between a punitive approach and a nurturing approach. Maybe use some of each. It's a shame when someone who is mostly competent exhibits a glaring flaw like this.

Let us know what happens.

[FireStarterRN, BSN, RN]

Wow, that is totally unacceptable!!! I'm shocked. I agree, it creates a very hostile work environment. Even if people are not Black or Gay, they probably have some close friends or relatives who are. I would be appalled if I heard this. I can't believe anyone uses the 'N' word, especially at work! And, when we are at the nurses station we are definately 'on stage'. We shouldn't be talking religion or politics, especially hot button issues.

I would complain to HR, mentioning the hostile work environment issue, as well as the fact that this is being said in a public arena, where anyone can hear (and take their healthcare needs elsewhere)

[luvbug]

I agree with the citing of specific times and words used, etc. It might take some time to compile a list that seems worthy of consideration by the "higher ups" but the more evidence you have, the better case you will present.

Also, if there are pt complaints, I would encourage them to fill out a patient complaint form. Those tend to help in certain cases.

If she is otherwise a great nurse, you will want to do all of this anonymously, of course, in case she does not get terminated.

[CRNI-ICU20]

set a tape recorder down in front of her in plain view and say, "you won't mind if I record your foul language now will you?".....

and then do it...

Sometimes, people are so completely unaware of themselves, they need a really hard whack on their ego to wake up!

I would not tolerate this...I would have a collective meeting, and demand from whomever her over-ling is to put a stop to it, or "the next phone call I make is to the department of labor".....

This is harrassment in the work place, and is a lawyer's dream....

If your manager has any common sense at all, she/he will put an immediate stop to the behaviour....

a little reminder: managers who look the other way at workplace harrassment, whether it is sexual, physical, emotional, or any other " AL" are ultimately responsible for the conduct of the people they manage....if they do nothing after being notified in writing, they are accountable....and can be named in a lawsuit along with the offender....

Hospitals and facilities who harbor these types are foolish....it will/could cost them millions....and it's the federal government who goes after them....not the individual who was harrassed....because it is FEDERAL LAW.....

sometimes, you cannot fix stupid. crni

[psalm, RN]

set a tape recorder down in front of her in plain view and say, "you won't mind if I record your foul language now will you?".....

and then do it...

Sometimes, people are so completely unaware of themselves, they need a really hard whack on their ego to wake up!

I would not tolerate this...I would have a collective meeting, and demand from whomever her over-ling is to put a stop to it, or "the next phone call I make is to the department of labor".....

This is harrassment in the work place, and is a lawyer's dream....

If your manager has any common sense at all, she/he will put an immediate stop to the behaviour....

a little reminder: managers who look the other way at workplace harrassment, whether it is sexual, physical, emotional, or any other " AL" are ultimately responsible for the conduct of the people they manage....if they do nothing after being notified in writing, they are accountable....and can be named in a lawsuit along with the offender....

Hospitals and facilities who harbor these types are foolish....it will/could cost them millions....and it's the federal government who goes after them....not the individual who was harrassed....because it is FEDERAL LAW.....

sometimes, you cannot fix stupid. crni

...sorry, I wanted to quote just the first paragraph. Anyway, that is a great idea. Or quote her on an incident report, copy for nursing and ceo and ask if this is acceptable. My feeling on racist and offensive talk is : would you talk this way in a job interview? On TV? In front of someone you were trying to impress? In front of children? Patients? Will it advance your career? Would you mind being quoted on the front page of the New York Times(or any paper)?

There is no excuse for such behavior, NO EXCUSE!!

[Sisukas]

Put your manager's business cards in your pocket. When visitors walk past, hear her and stare, go up to them and hand them a card. Nothing works like complaints from visitors.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Around here we get fired for that kind of talk if someone reports it as racist and offensive. I've seen it happen more than once.

What is your HR policy?

[classicdame, MSN, EdD]

I would treat this as any other event that requires the chain of command since your facility is obligated to at least attempt to provide employees with protection from lateral violence. Yes, verbal abuse is a type of violence. It is a bully who hits with words. Hit back by going up the ladder. The CEO might be interested to know that all the money they are spending on patient satisfaction, recruitment and retention and marketing are being negated by this individual. Heck, give him/her this thread.