How to cope with stress overload??

darlink · Nov 4, 2010

Sounds like you need to learn the word "No" which is a hard thing for many of us to say. But you need time for yourself. Sounds like with your new illness your body is telling you to slow down. Reevaluate all your commitments and say no to those that you can now and give notice to others. I would also call up a local hospice and ask about grief counseling for your losses. Many offer free support groups and low cost one to one counseling.

LACA, BSN, LPN, RN · Nov 4, 2010

I've gone through grief counseling and it's not so much that I need help with that. It's going to be a hard time of year for me and my family, regardless of how much counseling or help I've gotten. I've gone to support groups for parents who have lost children and have gotten a lot of help there also.

As for saying "no", that's never been a strong talent of mine, and I guess that's catching up with me now....

Neveranurseagain, RN · Nov 4, 2010

Your friends and family need to have an "intervention" and flat out refuse to let you sign up for anything else, and as well as getting you to resign a few of your duties! Take time in life to stop and smell the roses!

You might want to reconsider doing the drug screens too, as it may become an issue if chain of custody is not followed. And why should "the nurse" be responsible for collecting urine specimens? Why can't someone in the athletic dept do it? It doesn't take an RN to do drug screens.

Purple_Scrubs, BSN, RN · Nov 5, 2010

Delegate, delegate, delegate! Is there a grandparent who would be tickled pink to take over planning of the 2 year-old's birthday party? Can you recruit guest speakers for some of your teaching engagements? Can you afford to hire movers who will pack and move your home? If the holidays are usually at your house, can you ask another family member to host, or simplify the celebrations? Think creatively and recruit friends and family to pitch in. I get the impression that you are always the first to volunteer to help others...now is the time to call in some of those favors!

And, I agree that learning to say "no", regardless of how difficult it is, is a necessary skill for many of us women caretakers. It takes practice, so start practicing now :)

2ndgenschoolnurse · Nov 5, 2010

Ok, so everyone has great suggesstions...the best one is saying No....the hardest one is saying No. Let's admit we are control freaks, and love to fix it all, we are nurses! :smackingf In June my mother passed away from Ovarian Cancer, it was such a wake up call to me. Last fall I was as busy as you were, and slowly as my mother's illness progressed I was forced to say "I can't do this anymore!" I will admit it made me feel like such a failure, but it gave me strength to put my true needs first, myself....not what I wanted to be (super woman) but who I needed to be real womam! So I looked at everything and put them down on paper numbering the 1-10 1 being most important and 10 least. made it easy to give up somethings that were still very important/ valuable to me and my family, but not as big as #1! Honestly the things I kept are so much more enjoyable now!

Good luck to you, I hope you get through the holidays with a deep breath and love of your family!

sissykim · Nov 5, 2010

Please say "NO" before it is too late. One misshap and you are toast. The board of nursing is waiting for nurses just like you. I was one. They were there when I arrived to greet me. They had not one once of sympathy for me, my burned down home, my nine children, my brother who just dropped dead at 34 years old, my not so happy husband, my full-time job, full-time school work. They fixed it all for me. They will fix it for you too. I promise.

mustlovepoodles, RN · Nov 8, 2010

It seems to me that much of your stress is actualy *not* "unavoidable." You signed up for it! I think you need to take stock right now and decide what things you MUST do. Things that ONLY you can do. Everything else needs to go to someone else, at least for a time. I"m not kidding. You have set yourself up for failure and sooner or later there's going to be a crisis.

SchoolNurseBSN · Nov 8, 2010

Without knowing it, you made my day better! I was feeling very stressed when I clicked on your post. But you know what, I have three healthy children and have never experienced your loss so my day wasn't as bad as I thought!

Say NO,NO, NO and put yourself first for a change! Get a pedicure, get a massage, do something you love (and never have time for).

LACA, BSN, LPN, RN · Nov 9, 2010

Without knowing it, you made my day better! I was feeling very stressed when I clicked on your post. But you know what, I have three healthy children and have never experienced your loss so my day wasn't as bad as I thought!
Say NO,NO, NO and put yourself first for a change! Get a pedicure, get a massage, do something you love (and never have time for).

Thanks. Your reply made my day better as well.

Remember to hug and kiss those three precious children every chance you get...I know from experience that you are never guaranteed the next moment with them.

Glad to know I made someone's day better!! :-)

luvapug · Nov 9, 2010

You need to take a "sick day" all for yourself. Have someone watch your baby and like someone else said pamper yourself all day long. Get a massage, you hair done, nap, read, take a long bath, whatever but no work for 8 hrs at least!!! Then start thinking of those commitments that bring you joy and energize you and whichever ones do not then cross them off your list. Call the people up and say I'm sorry but due to having a full-time job and a young child and some new health problems I can no longer commit to... at this time so please have a replacement as soon as possible.No one will stop liking you and even if they complain realize it will all go on without you. I, too also over-commited at times and what happens is burn-out. Also, you finally have this healthy baby you've always wanted and these years go so fast so you need to find a way to slow down and just enjoy her as much as possible! Then when someone asks you to take on yet another thing just say sorry but I'm too busy right now and it does get easier with practice. The only reason you keep getting asked so much is they all know you don't know how to say no and will do it so it makes their life easier. Well now it's time to make your life easier and be kind to yourself. Once you slow down, take time for yourself, ask for help with moving and the party and whatever else you need I guarantee you, your husband and baby will all be happier and that is what is most important! Also, slowing down will give you time to process and move through all the emotions you have to deal with from the loss of your other two babies which is important so they don't stay bottled up inside because you don't have time to deal with them. I used to feel bad about asking for help until I realized that people like to help and feel needed (which is why you can't say no) but those with more time on their hands like grandparents are thrilled to be included in things like planning parties and bringing food etc. It would also help for you to figure out why you feel the need to do so much so you won't keep doing it-that's not healthy. Good luck!

canadanurse2 · Apr 30, 2011

Hi, I think I might have POTS and I'm just wondering why you are on blood thinners. I was on Fragmin while pregnant and my symptoms improved. I'm just wondering if there is a connection. Any information you can give me would be greatly appreciated.