How can you be nonjudgemental?

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I know nurses are supposed to be non judgemental, but how do I not judge??

I was doing a sterile task for a pt and w/o even realizing it according to her i contaminated my sterile field. now she doesn't say to me "oh i think you contaminated that." she SCREAMS at the top of her lungs "YOU CONTAMINATED YOUR STERILE FIELD NOW I'M GOING TO GO SEPTIC AND DIE IT'LL BE ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!" Now I hadn't even touched this woman yet! The procedure I was doing was something she did at home all the time but now she's in the hospital and can't?! if she was truly sick i'd understand but she was admitted as a precaution b/c her husband was in for something highly contagious. Her tests had all come back negative. She and I had argued before we started because I wanted her to clean herself up a little bit and she wanted me to do it! She's independent from home! why should I give this healthy woman a bedbath?? Now where i begin to be the naughty judgemental nurse is, this womans hospital room REEKS of cat urine!! apparently her home is the same and she won't be allowed to go back. As she's yelling at me i'm thinking. "why is she so concerned about me breaking sterility if she does this in a home infested w/ cat feces and urine?!?"

I feel so awful for thinking that...how do you keep from being judgemental? It's so hard sometimes, but she deserves my best!! I'm beating myself up because I made a mistake and for thinking so badly of this woman. I'd never knowingly break sterility and put a patient at risk! I threw everything away and asked another nurse to do the procedure for me b/c I was upset and I didn't want her to accuse me of anything!

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Specializes in Infectious Disease, Neuro, Research.

I'm going to be very blunt and non-PC:

As long as you don't express anything, its irrelevant. I have consoled myself, on several occassions, with the sure knowledge that exceedingly bitter, maladjusted, vitriolic individuals were most likely to expire in the less than hygenic residence they created, and provide sustenance for their mistreated pets until such time as they were found- probably by an aroma rising over the existing miasma.

I find that it is very easy to be kind and considerate, with that foreknowledge.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

only perfect people are absolutly nonjudgmental. i don't know any perfect people.

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I think you did fine, I wouldn't sweat it.

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Specializes in Emergency & Trauma/Adult ICU.

Nonjudgemental -- feelings vs. actions

You are human, and you will experience human emotions in response to various people and situations.

What you are required to do as a professional, however, is to keep those reactions/emotions in check and speak and interact with patients and their families in a nonjudgemental way.

You can be compassionate ... while being dispassionate (meaning, without strong emotion).

It works. :)

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i don't like being pressured to be "compassionate".

in situations like yours op, compassion doesn't even come into play.

i could see it as professionally tolerant but as altra said, it's about keeping it all in perspective/check.

let's face it, we deal (and tolerate) lots of obnoxious pts.

are we always compassionate? no.

but what about saintly? yep, that fits.:lol2:

leslie

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Make yourself not be judgmental--that's like asking yourself not to breathe. No, what matters is what you actually do, not what you think.

It does present an interesting thought when you bring it up though--why are we so obsessed with our own thoughts? Why does our society make them mean so much? Why do we feel like we have to even conform our innermost thoughts and feelings to what is expected? That we're "fake" or "bad" otherwise?

Thanks for the thought-provoking post, OP :).

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
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It does present an interesting thought when you bring it up though--why are we so obsessed with our own thoughts? Why does our society make them mean so much? Why do we feel like we have to even conform our innermost thoughts and feelings to what is expected? That we're "fake" or "bad" otherwise?

Because if we don't, our own fellow nurses will call us out and make our lives miserable for failing to conform to the image of the angelic, always-compassionate nurse. :cool:

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Thank you all! It makes me feel better reading all of your posts. I think nurses beat themselves up for thinking not nice thoughts because in school it's beaten into our heads that nurses are nonjudgemental and if you ever are then darn it you're the worst nurse in the world! I look back on the situation now and am glad it was only a thought. I may not have been nonjudgemental but I was professional!

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Specializes in Infectious Disease, Neuro, Research.

;) Probably one of my favorite quotes (and I'm not a horror movie fan) is from the Exorcist. Max Von Sydow(Father Merrin) is the "old man of the mountain", performed multiple exorcisms, and isn't caught up in the fad of everything is a psych-syndrome. He mentions to Father Damien that he(Merrin) doesn't much like people. Damien is shocked, that a man know internationally as the solace of the needy could feel that way.

Merrin replies something to the effect of, "I began charity as a sort of pennence. I came to find it something at which I was "good"." A profound and powerful paradoxical statement.

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Specializes in Infectious Disease, Neuro, Research.
Because if we don't, our own fellow nurses will call us out and make our lives miserable for failing to conform to the image of the angelic, always-compassionate nurse. :cool:

The advantage of being a "murse", I can always say I'm just deeply in touch with my inner A-hole. My wife tells me this. I have embraced it with sincerity.:D

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Thank you all! It makes me feel better reading all of your posts. I think nurses beat themselves up for thinking not nice thoughts because in school it's beaten into our heads that nurses are nonjudgemental and if you ever are then darn it you're the worst nurse in the world! I look back on the situation now and am glad it was only a thought. I may not have been nonjudgemental but I was professional!

After a while, I just sort of went on auto-pilot with some people....they were a stack of tasks in a room.... I was superficially pleasant, wanted to do a decent job (so they would get well and LEAVE- LOL), and didn't cheat them out of care- but I didn't like them. Jerks come in all ages (even kids- and not "scared" kid behavior- bona fide brats) , specialties, genders, and diagnoses. Some people could win a million bucks, and be whining about the serial numbers on the bills..... :D

Judgement (to me) implies some sort of sentence.... I just flat out don't like some people and their behavior...and they might hate what they think they know about me - and since I don't like them, their opinion is meaningless (especially if I also don't respect them..... I can respect someone I don't like, but not like someone I don't respect..).

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