How do you approach someone who failed nclex

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Specializes in heart failure and prison.

One of my classmates failed her boards. Although she did not tell me, I found out from another student, whom I call the nclex cop, checked her name on the state board of nursing website and found out that this student failed. My question is, I want to offer her my assistance by doing questions with her, the problem is I am not sure if I should. I feel funny asking her if she want help. I am willing to do questions with her and maybe we can figure out why she failed. Would you approach her and offer your assistance or should I just mind my business? By the way, I did pass my boards last month with 75 questions. I am not an expert however, I would like to help.

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I would wait until the topic comes up from her, then offer my help. Bringing it up will make it seem like you are rubbing it in to her. She might be keeping the results on the down low because she is embarassed, so let her be the one to talk about it first.

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Specializes in Medical and general practice now LTC.

Has she definitely failed? I would say it is hard because she may not want everyone to know. If she reaches out you could offer to help but you need to be sure how she will react to you and your offer of support

I do think it is a nice idea offering to support :)

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Specializes in heart failure and prison.

She definitely failed her boards. I don't think she will tell me about her failing the boards. Thanks for the advice.

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.....

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Its crazy cuz the exact same thing happen with me she didnt tell me i heard through other classmates so i end up catching up with her and i havent test yet so u know nclex came up in conversation and she did not say anything about failing the nclex and was acting as if she never took it. So another day she call me to come out with her we did she never said nothing then. When i talk to her again the week later she came out and said she failed !

I dont think u should say anything and dont offer help, u can share what u did to past and what worked for u ,buuut not until she tell u she have failed ! :heartbeat

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Specializes in Oncology, Med/Surg, Step Down- as STNA.

Oh geez, the fact that you can look people up on the BON websites totally slipped my mind!! THAT'S not cool. I agree that it's probably best to wait until she comes to you- but it's wonderful that you want to help and support her! :1luvu:

OH, and if someone needs to mind their own bees-wax, it's that "nclex cop"! :twocents: I have one of those in my class, too. I'm taking boards Monday and I didn't tell a soul. If I pass- scratch that, WHEN I pass, they'll find out @ graduation Friday!

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Specializes in heart failure and prison.

The NCLEX cop is a pain in her butt. She is one of the students who sit on the computer daily and look up names on the BON. She would tex message me everyday to let me know who passed. She was very upset with me when I would not tell her when I was taking my boards. Although, I know that it public record to see if you passed the boards and I like the fact that I could look up my name to see if I passed, I just think that it should not be so accessible for the people to view your name or better yet I just think people like the nclex cop should mind her business. But getting back to my classmate I really want to help her pass and I feel bad about knowing but, can't help out until. Thanks everyone for the advice, I will just keep it to myself until she approaches me.

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Specializes in Psychiatric Nurse.

sorry pebbles1 - i'm definitely not on your side with this one. you are just as much to blame as the nclex cop. with every text message you received you should have informed the nclex cop that you were not interested...and asked her not to keep you informed!!! the nclex cop is basically doing the dirty work while you reap the rewards of knowing who passed and who failed. if these are your classmates and they are your "friends," contacting them and having a "friendly" conversation would have garnered the same information about the status of their state board results. instead, you allow the nclex cop to find out your needed information so that both of you can gossib--good or bad regarding their results. when someone does not pass their state boards, it is a very sensitive position for them to be in all together. friends contact friends in this sort of situation. you obviously are not a good friend to this classmate. you are merely an acquaintance. if you had such a concern about whether she would pass/fail her boards--why didn't you set up a study group with this person and other classmates--before the test was taken???

there will always be those who "could care less" about the person and "only care" about those who "failed." for the nclex "cop" finding out that someone passed is not as "fun" as spreading the gossip that the person failed. in this situation pebbles1, you seem to be looking for people who are in the same boat as you are. which is probably why you look forward to the text messages.

my suggestion, leave her/him alone. approaching this individual will only make him/her wonder how you came about knowing that he/she failed--especially if he/she never told you they went to sit for their boards to begin with.

you want to help out???....use the information the nclex cop gave you. send an email to all the classmates that failed their state boards and see if any of them would be interested in participating in a study group with you since you failed. of course, this means that you must admit that you failed; but also show that you haven't given up and want to prepare for your next exam with others who are in a similar situation.

again, provide negative feedback to the nclex cop. it is not what "friends" or classmates do. now it is time for you to be---or become---a real friend to all of your classmates. of course this may mean that you have to identify who the nclex cop is??? in the end, all the members of your study group will become true friends as you prepare to take your boards again. a support system is what each of you needs right now---not someone (nclex cop) hoas no life and "thrives" on distributing bad news to others.

good luck!

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Specializes in heart failure and prison.
sorry pebbles1 - i'm definitely not on your side with this one. you are just as much to blame as the nclex cop. with every text message you received you should have informed the nclex cop that you were not interested...and asked her not to keep you informed!!! the nclex cop is basically doing the dirty work while you reap the rewards of knowing who passed and who failed. if these are your classmates and they are your "friends," contacting them and having a "friendly" conversation would have garnered the same information about the status of their state board results. instead, you allow the nclex cop to find out your needed information so that both of you can gossib--good or bad regarding their results. when someone does not pass their state boards, it is a very sensitive position for them to be in all together. friends contact friends in this sort of situation. you obviously are not a good friend to this classmate. you are merely an acquaintance. if you had such a concern about whether she would pass/fail her boards--why didn't you set up a study group with this person and other classmates--before the test was taken???

there will always be those who "could care less" about the person and "only care" about those who "failed." for the nclex "cop" finding out that someone passed is not as "fun" as spreading the gossip that the person failed. in this situation pebbles1, you seem to be looking for people who are in the same boat as you are. which is probably why you look forward to the text messages.

my suggestion, leave her/him alone. approaching this individual will only make him/her wonder how you came about knowing that he/she failed--especially if he/she never told you they went to sit for their boards to begin with.

you want to help out???....use the information the nclex cop gave you. send an email to all the classmates that failed their state boards and see if any of them would be interested in participating in a study group with you since you failed. of course, this means that you must admit that you failed; but also show that you haven't given up and want to prepare for your next exam with others who are in a similar situation.

again, provide negative feedback to the nclex cop. it is not what "friends" or classmates do. now it is time for you to be---or become---a real friend to all of your classmates. of course this may mean that you have to identify who the nclex cop is??? in the end, all the members of your study group will become true friends as you prepare to take your boards again. a support system is what each of you needs right now---not someone (nclex cop) hoas no life and "thrives" on distributing bad news to others.

good luck!

1st off i never approved of knowing who failed or who passed. since i was a study partner with the person who failed, i am assuming the nclex cop thought i knew she failed. as for me failing the boards not. just to inform you, i passed my boards in march with 75 questions, so i am an rn and you are welcome to go back to the 1st week of march and view the post that i passed. as for me helping out my classmates, who failed, i am only concerned with her.

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Specializes in LTC, Med/Surg, Peds, ICU, Tele.

Life was simpler when I graduated. We didn't have websites to look up who passed or not.

I wouldn't blame the OP for getting text messages from a nosy classmate. Sometimes we have social bonds with people and don't need to confront them on everything they do that we disapprove of.

Basically, this NCLEX 'cop' has every right to be snoopy if she wants to be, it's really not the end of the world, the information is a matter of public record. I don't think the OP is required to get all self righteous with this busybody, it's probably not going to change her and will most likely alienate her. Why make an enemy out of someone for nothing?

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