Hey you..with the trashy blonde hair

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Ahhhhhhhh....here we go........AGAIN.... This time it's personal.

After a meeting at work a month ago, my boss called me on my cell, as I was driving home, to say, "what is your natural hair color?" I said, "Well, it's probably a light brunette. Why do you ask?" She said, "Go dark. To be honest, your hair is so light it looks borderline trashy."

Yes, I was dumbfounded. She hired me, blonde hair and all. And NOW says I look "trashy". (I've asked several other people, including my own mother...who is completely honest)...and other nurses who said, "Are you kidding me? I wouldn't say that to anyone, even if I didn't like them!"

She must have known she upset me, because she called me at work the following day (when I was doing triage and the phone was ringing off the hook) to say "Did I upset you?" I told her she didn't. But yes!!! She did, and I wasn't about to get into it at work. I have since told her that her comment hurt my feelings. I have received NO apology.

Also, yesterday an MA in the office drew up several flu shots in advance and had them in the side rack in the refrigerator. Had a nurse flow appt, have been TOLD to use them, as it "saves time". Isn't it a cardinal rule for nurses to NEVER administer a med/vaccine without drawing it up yourself or at least WITNESSING it?????? I told her I didn't feel comfortable using it. She got angry, grabbed the pt chart, while things were falling on the floor, refused to listen to my explanation as to WHY. When I tried to explain it to her she raised her voice and said, "I'm NOT going to argue with you!" Then proceded to go around the corner, put me down to other nurses, and that was that.

A few days ago she asked me if I did venipuncture. I said, "No. We weren't taught that in nursing school." She says well MY nursing program taught us to...we had to do 200 blood draws to even GRADUATE." (BTW, it bothers me that she says nursing school...I have ultimate respect for medical assistants, as some have taught me how to do an EKG and other clinical skills I wasn't taught in school.) She then said, in front of 3 other MA's, "Where did YOU go to school at??"

And so I said, "This lil teensy school in the middle of a farrrrm. We practissssed givin' injectinz on hot dogs for an hour....then they cut us loose on clinicals to give 'em with our clinical instructerz." :clown:(This is all true, btw....we didn't spend but one day on giving injections...we spent a lot more time on assessments.) I tried to explain the differences in what they teach nurses...she rolls her eyes and says, "I can't believe that! I got more nursing training at "x institute".

Today I'm done with this organization. I'm the only nurse in the float pool....the MA's (not all) have literally criticized me, humiliated me, and my boss thinks I'm filthy trashy.

I quit. I'm tired of having too many panic attacks and "Loose BM's" from nerves from these people.:flamesonb

thanks for the vent....I'm so happy to have All Nurses to come to for support, advice, venting, you name it.:[anb]:

Emma

When I resigned from my last job, I kept the letter short and sweet: date of effective resignation and thanks for having me as part of the team (believe me, I could have written a book on what I really wanted to say). As well, I told no one about my new career plans because it's no one's business. Remember, you might have to ask these people for a letter of recommendation one day. In the exit interview I did not talk negatively about anyone, but did give some constructive criticism, because I did not want to leave on a sour note. I think it's letting them win when you leave negatively or stooping to their level.:nono:

Here is a website on resigning with dignity: I Quit! How to Resign:paw:

:typing

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Good Lord......run, do not walk, to another place!!!

I too have borderline trashy blonder hair and the residents where I work absolutely love it. I'm pretty sure, we are here for the residents(patients) not anybody else!!! you go girl

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Specializes in NICU, ICU, Case Management.

Nurses are caring people by nature, and it's evident by all the comments I've read above that there are still caring people in this profession. HOWEVER, I can tell you after 25 years of Nursing, I've witnessed (and experienced personally) some of the most cut throat, back-stabbing, ruthless bitches I've ever known. On almost every unit I've worked, there are little cliques whose main goal is to single out one person - male, female, gender didn't matter - and make their life miserable by criticizing, humiliating and flat out ignoring requests for help. After 25 years, I've learned to steer clear of these people and let the stupid things they say or do roll off my back.

I'm glad you left that job - 2 week notice or not - because it would not have gotten any better for you. I do hope you find a better job where the "cliques" are working a different shift!:yelclap:

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Emma, when I was doing day care in my home and knew it was time to move on, i started looking at some of the jobs around me - knew I didn't want to go back to accounting. I had thought maybe nursing or teaching. However, most of the people around me were teachers and I could see I didn't want to do that. One of the fathers was a nurse. In the time his kids were with me he had so many different jobs. He would get the new job, work there anywhere from a week to a year, then get mad at someone and quit or walk out (it wasn't unusual for him to walk out in the middle of a shift). He never went with out a job for more than 3 months and usually had a new job in a week or so. I thought "Wow, if Tom can be a nurse, I can sure be a nurse" Thankfully I still love it more than that! I'm so glad you moved on but that's where the nursing shortage will help you! Don't let it taint where you go from here.

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Specializes in MDS RNAC, LTC, Psych, LTAC.

First of all Emma they are unprofessional all the way around.. you never cut a co- worker down in front of others and they need to quit acting like high school but some women never grow out of it. They are not professional in any way.

Also as an RN I have gotten sick and tired of some MAs thinking they are smarter than an LPN or RN, because they give injections. Their career came about as a result of physicians not wanting to pay licensed nurses good wages. I remember when nurses and I mean NURSES were all licensed in a physician's office. They get put out when their glorious employer has them call me with an order and I ask them to repeat the order and I read back... I always note its given to me by the MA for the MD or DO. If they were "nurses" they would know thats been the standard for quite some time.....

I have worked at such toxic places as that and its never the patients its the darn psychotic co-workers sometimes.. hehehe :o Its why I do staffing now no politics and rude co-workers and no back biting... I am sorry that I have vented myself some but hang in there there are positions that are good and I am still looking too... though per diem pays the bills while I am.. It made me feel I can still be a good nurse without losing my mind....

Good luck to you and I am sorry I vented too but reading that just incensed me... for your sake...

Trish

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First of all Emma they are unprofessional all the way around.. you never cut a co- worker down in front of others and they need to quit acting like high school but some women never grow out of it. They are not professional in any way.

Also as an RN I have gotten sick and tired of some MAs thinking they are smarter than an LPN or RN, because they give injections. Their career came about as a result of physicians not wanting to pay licensed nurses good wages. I remember when nurses and I mean NURSES were all licensed in a physician's office. They get put out when their glorious employer has them call me with an order and I ask them to repeat the order and I read back... I always note its given to me by the MA for the MD or DO. If they were "nurses" they would know thats been the standard for quite some time.....

I have worked at such toxic places as that and its never the patients its the darn psychotic co-workers sometimes.. hehehe :o Its why I do staffing now no politics and rude co-workers and no back biting... I am sorry that I have vented myself some but hang in there there are positions that are good and I am still looking too... though per diem pays the bills while I am.. It made me feel I can still be a good nurse without losing my mind....

Good luck to you and I am sorry I vented too but reading that just incensed me... for your sake...

Trish

Trish, please don't apologize for venting. I hate hearing that it's happened to others, and what's helped me, too, is reading the support from those here. I've gotten some VERY good advice, and put it to use. I'm glad that this website exists to actually get some feedback from those who have walked in our shoes. Agency nursing is great for at least finding out where you want to work, checking out how staff interact with each other, as well as avoiding the politics.

I called my former boss, through an agency, and she already has several assignments for me....the pay is much better. The biggest loss being the benefits...but I will have to say that being happy, being away from that environment, maybe my health (aka work induced diarrhea) will improve. haha

I feel as though a weight has been lifted from me. I seriously feel empowered now. I did put a call in to one of tptb.....he's called me back; we keep playing phone tag....I am reporting her behavior. I did NOT put it in my letter of resignation. That was short, sweet, and to the point. I'll save the reason for my departure to someone with the power to do something about it. I am hoping and praying that it will come to an end with me, and that no other LPN's or RN's working for them have to endure the abuse I did. (yes, I'm probably dreaming, but I'd like to think so anyway....)

Oh, and I haven't "dyed my hair back to it's natural color". I seriously thought about it when she said that to me, but like I said, even my Mom said my hair looks nice. So....70605464.jpg THIS is what I use.....I'll continue to be my trashy self...

Thanks to ALL NURSES who responded and helped me through this difficult time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:w00t:

Emma

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Specializes in ICU, HOME HEALTH, NURSING EDUC, CASE MGT.

It never ceases to amaze me how rude, inconsiderate, and back stabbing people can be. Run for the hills girl!!!! No job is worth your health or mental well being. Your manager is totally unprofessional and has some serious issues to work on. As suggested from another post, seems like the possibility of jealousy, insecurity, etc. Why waste your precious time harboring on it?

A work environment like that is toxic! Thank goodness there will be other opportunities for you to look into, and not have to settle for such pettiness. Do not apologize for who you are. Brush yourself off, and look forward towards the next chapter in your life. Been there, done that! Best wishes and hugs...

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I dye my hair too...I like Doctors to think I am a dumb blonde instead of a intelligent spunky "auburn blonde"...I'd rather look trashy, than act trashy. Those who are judgemental to co-workers will also be to their Pt's.

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I can not believe that we nursing professionals put up with so much ridiculous behavior from management/doctors in ANY setting! Your supervisor should be called out on the mat and written up! I agree with the other posting...run like h-e- "double toothpicks" out of that place! You are an RN and can practically write your own ticket to any hospital in your area. You are a professional (obviously she is not!)...Never jeopardize your license to appease anyone and that includes management----if your state board of nursing reprimanded you or worse yet, suspended your license, for giving a med that another nurse drew up-your supervisor would not back you up I promise you that! I hope you documented her comments and if you feel so inclined, take your concerns to the hospital administration in the form of a formal letter written by your attorney and demand a formal apology from that institution. That will get their attention and she'll be put on alert. Believe me, if she's treating you that way, your not the first and won't be the last. She needs to be disciplined on this because the hospital legal department does not want to hear from disgruntled employees claiming a "hostile work environment" and that's what it sound like to me! Her personal attacks are extremely hostile in nature and should not be tolerated. Good luck!;)

Lisa

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Specializes in peds med surg,.

Wow! I am speechless! :eek: That manager sounds very unprofessional to say the least. Would she make a comment to someone with alopecia?

As for the MA it sounds like she may actually be an insecure person, since she has to tell others how she had to show a nurse how to do something. I have learned from our nursing assistants as well as taught them. As a float you probably work in a lot of different areas and bring much experience with you. They should be grateful to have you!:bow:

I would definitely let your manager's superior know about the "trashy" comment. It is unacceptable to treat someone that way!

If the higher ups don't take care of it, then I would look for a better work environment.

Hope things get better for you!:nuke:

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Specializes in ED, ICU, PSYCH, PP, CEN.

Emma,

The most important thing is that you did the right thing not giving a med that someone else prepared. That is a very dangerous practice to get into.

As you look for a new job you can tell your next employer that you left because patient safety was compromised. Be honest and let them know you left because the facility was requiring you to give meds that someone else had drawn up. This is a big no no. Be proud of yourself for always putting patient safety first.

PS I am a trashy blond too. I love to frost my hair and my mom says I look like a tramp. But the girls I work with say I still look like a librarian. Different people different perceptions.

I will keep my fingers crossed that you get a job that will appreciate your patient safety concerns.

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Emma,

The most important thing is that you did the right thing not giving a med that someone else prepared. That is a very dangerous practice to get into.

As you look for a new job you can tell your next employer that you left because patient safety was compromised. Be honest and let them know you left because the facility was requiring you to give meds that someone else had drawn up. This is a big no no. Be proud of yourself for always putting patient safety first.

PS I am a trashy blond too. I love to frost my hair and my mom says I look like a tramp. But the girls I work with say I still look like a librarian. Different people different perceptions.

I will keep my fingers crossed that you get a job that will appreciate your patient safety concerns.

Gonzo,

Thank you for your support and advice, especially on what to say to any future employers. That is always the hard part; they tell you on the interview to ALWAYS be POSITIVE, but I know for a fact that my former boss is very very sneaky, and even if she didn't "say the words" to future employers (ie: bad reference), I know she would use something like the inflection in her voice. She can't be trusted.

My new job required me to take tests on "nursetesting. com" because I'm going into per diem through agency in med surg, as an LPN. I'm very excited; I have my orientation this weekend. It's a hosp closer to my home, too. I know that I will learn a lot, and go back to using my nursing skills. I need the experience, so I will soak it all in. I've been feeling better, have more energy even....just being out of that rotten situation.

P.S. Should I print tshirts that say "Trashy blondes put patient safety first?"

Thanks again, to all of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Emma

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