Hi guys!
I am freaking out. I ended up getting a dream unit fresh out of nursing school. I was working on the neuro ICU at the only level one trauma center in the area since January and emailed them today to say I wouldn't be returning. I ultimately feel relieved, but I wonder if I messed up my future goals of becoming a CRNA. Most days I would cry before going or think about going or wish I would crash my car while heading to work (not trying to be dramatic either). I do not regret it seeing as I was unhappy. I loved ICU but the people and my preceptor were all catty. They made me feel stupid and unwelcomed. I had an old nurse tell me "You shouldn't feel overwhelmed, you have easy patients" Week two of orientation when I stated I was overwhelmed bc she would leave me alone for 20-30 minutes each hour to socialize, one of which my patient was crashing!!!. They also were only giving me 8 weeks orientation out of the 12 I was promised.
The only regret I have is messing up the ties I had with this academic health care system.
My ultimate goal is to be a CRNA so the ICU is where I need to be. I have applied to other ICUs in the area but I don't know what to say without sounding like I am attacking this healthcare system. Honestly, I would of stayed and transferred units but I could not make it there another 3 months (you must work 6 in unit before applying to others). I called HR and they stated that it is a possibility that other units would hire me but it might be harder seeing as I left without a two week. I honestly don't have a question. More so looking for support and opinions from fellow nurses and nurses that may have been in this situation.
I should also state I moved four hours away from home 1. To work at this hospital that is affiliated with the university I would like to attend for grad school 2. to make sure I enjoyed the city before committing to a three year program 3. for the experience (new grads seldom get into ICU at the hospitals I live around back home.
HELP. I don't know what to do. Should I stay and try to apply to more places or move back home.