Help a new RN please

[aheartsaverrn]

Can someone please give me some helpful hints and maybe a peptalk?

I'm a new RN and I'm really struggling.

I never thought it would be this hard. I thought: I graduate, get my RN, get a job and everything will be great because I'm finally doing what I love.

A preceptor has really done a number on me.

I was on a busy and difficult unit where I had done a few other shifts with a tough but fair preceptor. On one of my last shifts my preceptor was floated to another unit and I was shifted to a nurse who had been very harsh and rude to me previously. She was relentless in making me feel inferior because I didn't have the same knowledge base as she did. Relentless questioning about things that a new grad wouldn't know, expectations for me to document things I didn't know how to do, and when I asked for help she would make things harder on me by continuing this behavior and raising the stakes each time, even yelling at me at one point. I was honestly trying my hardest.

Another RN(not a new grad just new to this hospital) pulled me aside and told me that it wasn't me, it was the preceptor and that the same things had happened to her. Then she told me try your hardest not to cry or show weakness because she'll only make things harder on you. I don't know how I would have made it without that nurse's peptalk.

I'm done on this unit, but that preceptor's comments have really stuck with me and I'm hurting because of it.

One of her comments was basically how she knew I'd fail on my home unit because I was so terrible on this one and that I'd probably kill someone.

I have no self confidence after 12 hours of absolute hell with this nurse. I don't even want to go back to that hospital. How do I get through this?

Most importantly, this isn't an old-school nurse. This is a nurse who is only a few years older than me. I can see a new cycle of being "broken-in" in her.

[MN-Nurse, ASN, RN]

The other RN was right - don't let her get to you.

Hell, she's in your rear view mirror anyway, keep here there.

[canesdukegirl, BSN, RN]

Most of the people you meet in this world are going to be decent people. But no matter where you go, you'll meet a couple people are not. Don't give those nasty people the power to ruin your life.

That's something only YOU can do for yourself. You have a choice to either pay attention to the majority of people you have met who have treated you well and given you positive feedback and constructive suggestions for needed improvements -- or you can choose to let yourself and your thoughts be dominated by the jerks.

The choice is yours.

WOW! So simple, yet incredibly insightful.

OP, as I stated previously, be thankful that you aren't as miserable as your preceptor.

With that being said, it is human nature to latch onto criticism. We can do 98 things right, and berate ourselves for the 2 things that we did wrong. We dwell on it, worry about it, and sometimes label ourselves as a failure...all over the few things that we did wrong without considering the majority of the things that we did RIGHT.

I must share with you all that I am SO guilty of the above. Most of you know that I suffer from horrible OCD and lose sleep over something that I did wrong. When I was in nursing school, if I got a B on an exam, I viewed that as a failure. (Cue the music for "Loser" by Beck.) If I was corrected for some minor mistake when I was first starting my nursing career, I chalked it up to my being a complete idiot, a failure, and an embarrassment to nurses worldwide. Yeah. Can you say "snowball effect"?

"Hi Pot. My name is Kettle. Nice to meet you."

I admit that I am probably the world's worst person when it comes to taking a dose of my own medicine. Thankfully, time, maturity, strong peers, experience and the voice of reason from my dear husband have made me realize that a mistake doesn't equal the end of my career.

I have learned that nasty people are nasty because they were hurt so badly at some point in their lives. Instead of taking offense at their comments, I dissect each comment to find some kind of value in what they said. If I cannot, then I dismiss their negativity. I won't say that I don't take their comments to heart-of course I do. But after venting about it, I get some much needed perspective and either:

A. Check myself and smooth out my hackles so that I can truly accept and ponder the comment, then take some accountability for the mistake that I made.

B. Listen to my peers when they give me a pep-talk and tell me that the problem does not lie with me, but with the Toxic Queen.

C. Immediately consider the source and not waste another minute of my time on feeding the Toxic Queen. She eventually realized that she would starve if she kept making pointless jabs at me.

We all have room to grow and improve. A preceptor that plays the role of "the heavy" serves no purpose. New grads are already scared. They fully realize that they don't know everything. They NEED regimented and sound guidance. Few things enrage me more than seeing a preceptor intentionally put a new grad in a position where they can't possibly complete a task without guidance. I will offer an example:

A nursing intern in our OR, whom I am mentoring, has never inserted a foley independently. She was in the circulator position, and I am scrubbed in. Her preceptor stands there and watches her flounder. The intern is an intelligent young lady, and takes instruction well. The surgeons are also standing around, waiting for the foley to be placed. You could almost hear them tapping their feet. Still, the preceptor does nothing. I tell the preceptor that she should offer some help, but the preceptor replies that the intern "should know how to do something as simple as foley insertion." I break scrub and assist the intern, walking her through each step while the circulator continues to snicker in the corner, all the while rolling her eyes. You can bet the farm that I had a few words to say to this preceptor after the case was over.

What is the point of being nasty and watching a new nurse flounder? I don't get it. Seriously...why do some nurses take this view that brand new grads should know how to be an efficient and productive nurse on day 1? Rhetorical question...I know the answer, but it doesn't sit well with me, nevertheless.

Sorry for the rant, y'all. It just makes my blood boil to see preceptors stand there and watch new nurses flounder without offering the help that they SHOULD.

[aheartsaverrn]

Thanks so much!!So kind!!

[aheartsaverrn]

WOW! So simple, yet incredibly insightful.

I won't say that I don't take their comments to heart-of course I do. But after venting about it, I get some much needed perspective and either:

A. Check myself and smooth out my hackles so that I can truly accept and ponder the comment, then take some accountability for the mistake that I made.

B. Listen to my peers when they give me a pep-talk and tell me that the problem does not lie with me, but with the Toxic Queen.

C. Immediately consider the source and not waste another minute of my time on feeding the Toxic Queen. She eventually realized that she would starve if she kept making pointless jabs at me.

We all have room to grow and improve. A preceptor that plays the role of "the heavy" serves no purpose. New grads are already scared. They fully realize that they don't know everything. They NEED regimented and sound guidance. Few things enrage me more than seeing a preceptor intentionally put a new grad in a position where they can't possibly complete a task without guidance. I will offer an example:

A nursing intern in our OR, whom I am mentoring, has never inserted a foley independently. She was in the circulator position, and I am scrubbed in. Her preceptor stands there and watches her flounder. The intern is an intelligent young lady, and takes instruction well. The surgeons are also standing around, waiting for the foley to be placed. You could almost hear them tapping their feet. Still, the preceptor does nothing. I tell the preceptor that she should offer some help, but the preceptor replies that the intern "should know how to do something as simple as foley insertion." I break scrub and assist the intern, walking her through each step while the circulator continues to snicker in the corner, all the while rolling her eyes. You can bet the farm that I had a few words to say to this preceptor after the case was over.

What is the point of being nasty and watching a new nurse flounder? I don't get it. Seriously...why do some nurses take this view that brand new grads should know how to be an efficient and productive nurse on day 1? Rhetorical question...I know the answer, but it doesn't sit well with me, nevertheless.

Sorry for the rant, y'all. It just makes my blood boil to see preceptors stand there and watch new nurses flounder without offering the help that they SHOULD.

Thank you so much! I too feel there is a high amount of pressure on new-grad RNs. Yes, we have a license and a degree but we know so little about a world so big.

I wish there were more people like you! How nice of you to break scrub and help the intern out!!

[CT2Md]

Keep your head above water and focus on your patient(s). I'm sorry for what you are experiencing i have no doubt it will make you a stronger and more compassionate nurse.

Best of luck:up:

[Beach Sunshine]

Sending you virtual hugs, aheartsaverrn! Seriously, don't worry. There will always be people who are negative and want to put others down, for whatever reason. There's always a bad apple in workplaces - you've just been unlucky to experience one so soon in your career. Just be confident about your performance and you'll get through.

You've wored hard to become an RN, and this is absolutely the job that you'll love - what greater job can there be than helping others who are ill to get better? Don't let anyone get in the way of you achieving your dreams.

[honeykrown, MSN, NP]

oh there are 3 things you can do with all the nunwanted and unkind and unwarranted comments she gave

1 let it affect you

2 let it roll off you shoulders

3 let it make you a better person. i am one for proving people wrong and most especially when they are wrong in the first place. show her that you can make it. she doesnt expect you to last on ur floor but you can. so keep your head up and let that be your motivation

[guest358111]

Everyone has given great advice already.

Not to sound corny or trite or anything but there is a saying that I have always liked "No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Constructive criticism is good however criticism that is over the top and demeaning is a waste of your time to listen to.

It hard to figure out which is which when we are new nurses....but constructive criticism or not there is a kind way of saying things as well as a mean spirited way. And the mean spirited criticism is not worth your time.

In one ear and out two! :)

You will do fine.