HELP! New grad, work nights, pregnant, depressed!!

[Nikki.J]

Hey all, I'll try to keep this brief...

Here's my situation: I'm a new grad (off of orientation since the beginning of September), working full time 7p-7a, 11 weeks pregnant and fighting depression.

I've NEVER had an issue with sad feelings like this. I have been feeling isolated, hopeless, teary, SAD,... just plain blah. At first working at night was new and exciting, but I'm finding I'd rather lock myself in a bathroom for 12 hours than work nights now. I have horrible sleeping habits now, feeling like I'm dragging even on my days off... my life had more quality in nursing school!! I work in the NICU, which I do love, but the nights bring darkened halls, darkened rooms (parents sleeping), and our layout doesn't have a central nursing station... just spread out halls, so I might have one other person on my hall a few doors down to chat with... maybe. I truly think nights are making me depressed! No sunlight and the dark, isolated work environment... UGH.

So, to make the fact that I already feel like a walking zombie & sick all the time (the just worn out immune system feeling)... I'm pregnant with my second child. I'm worried about how I've been feeling and negative effects on the baby. I can't even enjoy my pregnancy... so not like me. I'm just MISERABLE.

Has anyone else dealt with new feelings of despair and loneliness on nights? I know people say I'll adjust, but I'm just seeing NO light at the end of the tunnel. Just plain misery.

My sweet hubby has asked if I could switch to days... I'm on "the list" but it's long, and I'm sure no one would care that I'm (deeply) sad and offer to move me up. Other than that, he's feeling pretty helpless. I'm also a new grad (and pregnant), so finding a day position elsewhere right now just isn't an option. I'm STUCK.

I had NO idea I would react this way to night shift... PLEASE, any insight, words of encouragement or advice would be embraced. I'm getting desperate. 7 more months of this before the baby comes sounds like TORTURE

Thanks for your time comrades...

[heartflutter, ADN, BSN]

If you sleep during the day and don't get too much sun, you might want to get your Vitamin D levels checked. Mine tanked when I started working evenings and it was rough. Hope you see an improvement soon!

[Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP]

Oh, do I feel for you. Pregnancy messes with your body, nightshift messes with your body, and new-grad status messes with your mind. No wonder you are having a hard time.

I started out on nights as a new-grad too (though not pregnant), and had many of the symptoms you describe. After a few months I had to switch shifts/jobs, which I was fortunate to be able to do. That may not be an option for you right now, which I understand.

I'm back on nights now as an experienced nurse, at a different place, and it is much better, though nights still can be hard on my body sometimes. I'm pregnant now too, and exhaustion has been a much bigger factor this time around than last. Whether that's related to age or nightshift (which I wasn't doing while pregnant with #1) I don't know...but I do feel for you.

PLEASE talk to your OB/Gyn. S/he may be able to write you a medical note for work stating you need to be on days, which may not bump you to the top but it might help. Whether you ask for that is up to you, but you definitely need to talk to them anyway, to address the depression and sleep issues.

[Nikki.J]

Friends,

Thanks everyone for the replies. I have already started taking vitamin D... levels to be checked soon. I also have a doc appt. in the morning. I have never had depression issues so I'm not sure if this is situational, seasonal, pregnancy-related... ugh. This is just plain tough. I have read all of your replies carefully and will be sure to post what helps. This might just help someone else out in the process.

You all are the best for taking time to respond with your input and kind words. Happy Holidays to you!

Nikki.J

[lifelearningrn, BSN, RN]

Friends,

Thanks everyone for the replies. I have already started taking vitamin D... levels to be checked soon. I also have a doc appt. in the morning. I have never had depression issues so I'm not sure if this is situational, seasonal, pregnancy-related... ugh. This is just plain tough.

Chances are it's a combination of all of these things.. you've hit a perfect storm and it's affecting you. I do think you should look into working day shifts.. I bet that will make a HUGE difference.

Good luck.

[rjnpierre]

Congrats, I am pregnant as well. I used to work nights. Once I got informed the hospital

I was pregnant and armed with my report from the quebec CSST. One of the conditions

is that a pregnant woman cannot work night shift. there is a host of other restrictions.

I am not allowed to work beyoung 9PM if i work an evening shift.

As such, I am working day shift. THis policy is unique to quebec, but I am preety sure

with a doctors report, you should not be working night shift while pregnant.

Take care, an keep us posted.

[Sonjailana]

OP, here's a big HUG for you. Depression sucks!

[tralalaRN]

Please, please don't take a chance with your baby! RNs are at higher risk of delivering prematurely, and I can tell you, if you think you're depressed NOW. .putting this baby at risk for an early delivery (and future severe disabilities) . .is this WORTH IT? Take care of yourself and your baby, #1.

If you must work during your pregnancy, like others have mentioned, get into a position that is less physically and mentally demanding. Night shift is both physically and mentally demanding. Check into something like home health care for children with severe disabilities. In my state, there are a lot of opportunities for nurses to provide care for kiddos with trachs, seizures, etc. - the NICU grads. .

[rn4ever?]

Seek professional help. Sorry you’re going through this. But I know too that being pregnant and working as a nurse isn’t really easy!

[Nikki.J]

So, friends, I had my appointment with my OB's NP this morning (my OB is on maternity leave) and can I say what a difference it makes when someone actually listens. I went in with my husband not sure how I would tell her what I've been feeling since these feelings are so foreign to me. Well, she came in, saw me instantly well up with tears, put her clip board and pen down and simply said "Talk to me." She sat there and listened to me if I were the only patient on the planet. From a patient's stand point, I was so grateful for her unhurried concern for my situation. Bravo to professionals like this!

Onto her suggestions: Since I told her I am contracted with my facility (not floor) for 2 years since I took the sign on bonus I can't exactly quit unless I have the money to repay it in full with taxes (which I don't)... her suggestion was to talk to my boss about other options. At my place of work, they like to have new hires stay of for at least 6 months before moving on since they took time to orient, etc. I just can't recall if it's 6 months from the start date or 6 months from the start of a functioning RN position, in which case I was off of orientation early September. Anyway, she suggested I make the leap to another floor on days if my current floor wasn't offering days as an option. You all must be thinking what a drastic change that would be right now, but I'm desperate!!! Lastly, we talked about antidepressants as an option; Zoloft specifically. She informed me it was a Class C drug and all of the pros and cons. She wrote a prescription for a low dose. It's in my back pocket as we speak. I'm really going to have to think about this. Infinite sadness effects on baby or Zoloft? It's quite a decision.

Soooo, I think I might see what the 6 month rule entails exactly, and talk to my manager and try to make a situational change first before filling the script-- even if it means reorienting to another floor ON DAYS. If all else fails, well, I might have to accept the prescription, because I cannot fathom the duration of my pregnancy feeling like this. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I know none of you personally but am so thankful for a community of nurses who rally behind one another when the going gets tough... really tough. Sincere thanks to you all...

[Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP]

Thanks for the update, Nikki.

Your health, and that of your baby, are the priority here. I hope switching to days makes the difference for you. If not, and you do need the Zoloft, please don't feel bad for taking it. We ALL worry about the things we take having an effect on our babies (I'm prego too, remember :) ) but your baby does need your mental health. If you need it, you need it.

I am glad you went to someone and they listened to you, and I'm glad you now have a plan. Feel free to PM me anytime if you need anything. :redbeathe

[Nikki.J]

Elvish,

Thanks sooo much. Hopefully it'll pan out sooner than later so I can get back to being ME and enjoying my pregnancy. Best to you with yours.

I'll keep you posted on the outcome!

[AtomicWoman]

I was going to write a post that said you MUST discuss this with your OB, but I am relieved to see you already did that. :) It could be hormonal changes associated with pregnancy, or it could be the night shift, or it could be the two things in combination that are making you so depressed. Or maybe even something else! Please stay on top of this situation and ask your husband to, as well. Feelings of desperate sadness/depression are a sign not to be ignored (not that you are ignoring them). I hope your doctor wrote you a note, saying that it is her opinion you need to switch to days for medical necessity. Who cares what your co-workers think of that? Would they be snarky if you had to stay on bedrest for medical reasons? The most important thing is your health and the baby's heath. Please let us know how it goes for you! (Hugs)