Help! I'm about to get married!

luvschoolnursing, LPN · Mar 22, 2008

Why can't you tell your mom. Don't they kow him or don't they approve of him? I wouldnt get married unless I was SURE I wanted to marry that particular person, but If I was sure, I wouldn't let my parents stop me. Are you from the Philippines? Or Califoria? Or somewhere else? Just trying to get an idea of your situration.

tinpanganiban · Mar 22, 2008

I'm 22 years old(too young to get married:))from the Philippines. I don't want my parents to get frustrated. Iam still their baby.. Yes, my mom knows the guy but my dad doesn't. Should i tell my mom? I'm sure she'll get more depressed. :cry:

lawrence01 · Mar 22, 2008

hello everyone! I'm a california nclex passer and currently in the philippines. My bf got a job offer in Illinois yesterday. He was about to sign the contract and the h1b visa application. He asked me if i want to get married na as soon as possible. I'm really confused right now. I don't want him to leave me. I want to go with him but the problem is.. my parents. They are in the US right now and i can't tell them this marriage thing because my mom is hypertensive and she is experiencing severe depression right now. What will i do? If i will accept his marriage proposal maybe i'll keep it a secret. Please help!

I would not bet the farm on your fiancee being approved for the H1B visa.

It's already 1 week before the deadline for it. If he haven't signed yet, it would be stretching it a bit that they can get everything in before the deadline (April 1). Another thing, even if the petition will be sent on time there is no guarantee that 1) *his file will be picked by the computer and 2) if picked by the computer - that his petition will be approved as they are skimming H1Bs for non-specialist nurses. They do not regularly approve H1Bs for nurses. In fact, they deny it if this would be a non-specialist.

*The H1B has become a lottery since last year. There are only 65,000 visas available per year for H1Bs and last year, there were at least twice as much who applied for it. So what they did was to let the computer pick files randomly. It is expected that more will file for the H1B this time around, maybe even more than from last year's as those not picked will surely re-apply for this year and of course there will be entirely new applicants applying as well.

tinpanganiban · Mar 22, 2008

my bf is a computer programmer.:)

lawrence01 · Mar 22, 2008

If you want to learn more about what I'm talking about regarding H1Bs for nurses and what happened last year please read a previous post I made about the subject. Please read the links and the memos from USCIS regarding H1B for nurses. You will learn that it is not meant for nurses and two, a file being picked by a computer randomly has made it even harder even if someone is truly qualified for it.

*See: https://allnurses.com/forums/f75/more-information-about-h1b-nurses-253715.html

CNAinNeb · Mar 22, 2008

Honey, you have to do what makes you happy. Don't live you life according to what your BF wants, or for your parents sake. If you want to follow your BF, do it and don't look back. Good luck!

lawrence01 · Mar 22, 2008

my bf is a computer programmer.:)

You should have said that from the start. We cannot possibly give give good advice for lacking info. but even then being picked is hard like I mentioned.

tinpanganiban · Mar 22, 2008

I would also want to ask if for example he stated in his h1b application that he is single and his visa got approved, Would it be possible to get married after filing his H1b application just before the consulate interview? Could he still include me?

tinpanganiban · Mar 22, 2008

i'm really sorry lawrence.. i should have included it right from the start.

tinpanganiban · Mar 22, 2008

tnx lawrence and cnainneb for the advice:nuke:!

suzanne4, RN · Mar 22, 2008

If his petition gets submitted and you are not already on it, then you will not be able to get a visa at the same time that he does. This is the same with each and every petition that we have in the US.

You have to be checked out by immigration as well, they do not just issue a visa to you as the spouse automatically.

---------------------------

As a side note, please do not rush into anything like marriage right now if you are not truly sure of things. And if you are worried about your mother and her depression, don't you think that she would be more distraught if she found out that you were married and did not inform her and she did not walk you down the isle?

You need to do what you feel is right for you, not what your boyfriend wants, or what anyone else wants. And you coming here to post about this, means that you are having second doubts about it or you would not be looking to others that you do not know for advice.