HELP ELLA! THEN ME!

[spotangel]

She sat quietly as I drew her bloods after inserting a heplock. The ED was packed and as evening Manager, I had noticed that two of my nurses were struggling to play catch up with the volume of patients needing lab and line. So I had pulled a few in to get them started and decongest the backlog.

"Ms. Williams, I have noticed that you have come 11 times in the last 3 months for the same complaint. Can you tell me what is going on?" She looked around fearfully and started taking about her GI and Gyn symptoms. As she talked, I sensed there was another story under that layer that she was not telling. I casually started asking her about her family and support systems. Her eyes lighted up when she talked about her 4 year old Ella and a stoic expression came over her when she talked about her boyfriend Brent.

"Ms. Williams many times when we have GI symptoms, it is a response to stress in our lives. Is anything happening that is causing stress to you and Ella?" The tears started falling hard and her shoulders shook although her head nodded no. I pulled her into a room that had just been vacated and had her sit on a chair as I quickly prepped the stretcher. Once she sat on the stretcher, I closed the door, pulled up the chair next to her and held her hand.

"Ms. Williams, please tell me what is going on so that I can help you." Her eyes red and puffy she started talking slowly first, then in a torrent. I learned that she was being physically, emotionally and sexually abused by her boyfriend Brent. Ella was not his child and recently he had begun to sexually abuse her as well. He beat her up severely when she tried to protect her child. The only time he allowed her outside the house by herself was when she had a Gyn problem and had to be seen in an ED. She had no primary care doctor and no insurance. He threatened to kill Ella "Piece by piece" if she reported him.

"Ms. Williams please allow me to help you. Where is Ella now?"

"She is with him in the house."

"I am going to get the social worker Pamela come in to help you. Thank you for telling me. Is this really why you came to the ED?"

"Yes. I was hoping someone would ask. Help Ella, then me!"

I stood up, gave her a hug and turned to go. "Nurse Annie, take this with you. I don't need this anymore."

"What is that?" I eyed the package.

"It's two bottles of pills. I was going to kill Ella and myself tonight."

I took the packet from her shaken. "Have you tried before?"

"No."

"I am glad you are not going to anymore. Let me get Pam here for you." I walked out with the packet and found Pam and updated her. Pam helped her. Got the cops, state and child protective service involved. He was arrested without incident.

Ella was transported to the hospital for an initial examination. Since we had an advocacy center for pediatric sexual abuse, the detailed exam along with the psychosocial interview of child and mother were done there. It's a one stop shop. The survivor(s)/families have a team that conducts medical evaluation, forensic interviews, behavioral health and treatment services in a safe environment. The child's forensic interview is conducted by a specially trained interviewer who asks open ended questions to the child while the rest of the team observes behind a one way mirror. The family is gets connected to help they need. The last I heard they were doing good and Brent was in jail.

I eyed the bottles on my desk. There were enough pills to kill an elephant. She had been gathering them and hiding them over the last year as she planned the murder /suicide. I marveled at how God used me to save her. This was payback for a time when I was 18 and sat at a table with 50 pills in front of me and 2 glasses of water getting ready to kill myself. I thanked him for sending a friend into the place I was and stop me from committing suicide. As I went to the bathroom and flushed Ms. Williams's pills down the toilet, I remember how my friend talked me out of it and how we flushed the pills down the toilet so many years ago. The good lord saved my life by sending my friend to help me. I remember asking her how she knew I was in danger and where to find me. She insisted that there was a persistent voice in her head that kept telling her to find me and would not stop till she found and helped me. I in turn, have had countless opportunities to make a difference in other lives and save many as a nurse. I feel that beyond the stresses of working as a nurse, we have a calling to be of help. Sometimes all you need is to help a coworker who is drowning in work to save a life!

[silasmwambia]

Are you jelous that she is such a wonderful nurse. I can read something behide ur fierce criticism of her. Please stop. The article is ment to encourage someone not to meet your individualized parameters. Who made you her judge and who r u to judge her so harshly. I can tell this is a good nurse who finds joy in helping. You sound like many I have come across who thing everyone else is beneath them.

Write your perfect article.maybe we will read but leave others a lone. You are a little too much.

[spotangel, DNP, RN, NP]

Thank you for sharing what was concerning you about my post. Most of the time I write in one sitting and hit the the send button.What sticks more in my mind is what I write in detail. So many a time although the gaps are filled in my mind, they are open in the readers mind. Safety of the patient is a given for me and so I did not write that part in. I will keep this in mind when I write again. We live and learn.

[spotangel, DNP, RN, NP]

Are you jelous that she is such a wonderful nurse. I can read something behide ur fierce criticism of her. Please stop. The article is ment to encourage someone not to meet your individualized parameters. Who made you her judge and who r u to judge her so harshly. I can tell this is a good nurse who finds joy in helping. You sound like many I have come across who thing everyone else is beneath them.

Write your perfect article.maybe we will read but leave others a lone. You are a little too much.

Thank you! You are balm to my battered soul! I never go into work thinking I am going to convert anyone. I just do my best as if today is my last day. I am not a saint and fall all the time on my face! The one thing you can't fault me is for not trying my hardest to help you. I have no intention of being a hero as I am far from perfect.

[missmollie, ADN, BSN, RN]

The problem here is that this poster miraculously intervenes at the right time, every time. I believe in God, and I talk about him when appropriate with my patients. I don't post every "win" with patients, and to be honest, I don't post any "win" at all. Because what occurs between myself, a patient, and faith happens to be between those three and no one else. Fun fact: it's usually not miraculous.

It's when I talk to the patient who has just decided hospice is the place for them and they are dying. It's when the patient has a terminal cancer that they understand is the end for them, and nothing can prolong their life. It's the patient on hospital hospice who decides they would like to be saved.

I don't doubt that this can happen maybe once in a nurse's career, but for myself, it's sacred, and it's small things. This sort of thing does not happen every day. It doesn't even happen every year. It's something that is amazing to experience, but it is not common. You cannot come into this with the idea that God will give you the supernatural ability to become the best nurse ever just by being a Christian.

We, as Christians, are fallible, imperfect, and above everything else, sinners. There is no special powers or abilities that we have, although we must believe that God is capable of such a feat. However, those imbibed with such power would not brag in such a manner. Be upfront. Talk about God in the proper context, but don't give those who believe that they can do so much more... without posting the failures. This poster is human, and there are mistakes that he/she has made. We don't get to see that. It's like facebook, this poster only puts forward his/her best foot. It's not realistic.

[missmollie, ADN, BSN, RN]

One last thing. Your stories tend to highlight your own belief in God, and I'm glad you have it. But it also lays down a subtle message that if you don't get the results that you get, obviously you are not as "good" a Christian. If other Christian's believed as much as you, well, we could have these same experiences.

Please post experiences where there has been failure, where you have realized that there are problems and how you dealt with that. Did you pray and it helped? Did you have the patient who was atheist and you couldn't pray, but you felt peace afterwards because you did your best, supernatural interventions aside? I just get the picture of you flitting one room to another, saving patient after patient with no issues.

Please, watch Francis Chan on you tube. That's Christianity at it's base. That's what we should be doing.

[Purple_roses]

Wow! Some of the comments from the "caring profession" are unreal ----!

First of all, peace to all!

Few clarifications.

Safety- The patient was in a contained area with 2 RNs at all times. When I left the room, I informed the primary RN of what was happening and she could see the patient very clearly through the glass door that could not be locked while awaiting social work.

Follow through- The social worker worked alongside the team as she was medically cleared and followed our protocols of notification to Psychiatry, state, ACS and the police dept. The advocacy center that is affiliated to our hospital works specifically with survivors of sexual abuse and the contact person spoke to the patient while she was in the ED.

Medications- This was discussed with the attending physician, hospital chief pharmacist , ED management team and PD .Since it was a mixed bag of pills and it had not been used and was not needed as "evidence", the plan was to flush it down the toilet.

Confiding- Why did she confide in me? I honestly don't know. She had been collecting the pills as her way out but once her child got involved and she could not stop her being abused the second plan hatched.

Spirituality- To date, I have not had one patient complain when I have spiritually uplifted them with words of comfort and hope while I tended to their physical and medical needs. I have been an RN for 28 years. I am very comfortable talking about God's love and mercy as I have experienced it firsthand.

I have always felt that all my experience as a nurse and as a human being can be used to help someone in physical or mental distress. I am still like a child filled with wonder and awe when I see how people who are strangers one minute connect to us nurses and we are able to help them at a deeper level than they anticipated.

To the judges-Don't be so quick to judge. There is always more to the story than you think or that has been written. I may not be your cookie cutter type of nurse and am no saint, but I am not this uncaring "Godzilla" that is smoking spiritual pot constantly!

Just a human being trying to survive this no so friendly world like the rest of us!

I find it interesting that you've suddenly come up with all of these gaps that fill in every possible blank that your original story had left out. I also don't know that I believe the attending physician and pharmacist told you to flush the drugs down the toilet. Waste treatment is unable to filter out medications from the water supply, and flushing meds down the toilet contributes to water pollution. There are much safer ways to handle meds that need to be discarded. A pharmacist wouldn't direct you to flush that stuff.

I'm attaching a list of meds that are safe to flush for future reference.

Disposal of Unused Medicines: What You Should Know

[spotangel, DNP, RN, NP]

I get it. What I post looks like bragging,boasting and unchristian like to some of the readers. Far from the truth. The only reason I post is to inspire.

Of course, I have had failures and bad outcomes. Do you really want to read about them? Don't you have enough going on in your life?

I struggle with a lot of things in my personal and professional life but I chose not to write about them. I feel very strongly that I am always placed to help where ever I work. I don't flit from pt to pt without a care and have model patients. I have had pts spit, curse, lunge, kick me and family members, visitors yell and speak badly to me. Don't start with some of the docs I have worked with---! How I chose to respond is not in kind but attempt to de escalate. In terms of flushing the meds, it was done after consultation with the team. You may chose to believe or call me a liar. My conscience is clear.

Do I" miraculously" intervene to help pts. I don't think so. The miracle and credit always go to the lord. Like I tell my patients, "All honor and glory to him. I just work for him and give him thanks that he put me in a position where I could help you!" I have helped a lot of people that do not believe in God and I am totally fine with it as you own your own faith and all of us have our own spiritual path that we follow. It does not make you any less valuable in my eyes as we were all created by God and are equal in his eyes. I just thank him that I am in a profession that I am able to serve him. For 28 yrs I kept my silence but now when I see what nursing needs in terms of vision, I chose to write about my experiences to inspire and not pat myself. My intentions are clear. What you make of it, you are in charge of! Peace!

[jetsy62]

Please keep posting about your successes OP. We are much too familiar with the negative, sad, downright vile side of humans that nurses get to see. Never will understand "yeah, that was a great outcome, but you went about it all wrong". As long as no laws were broken and no patients rights were violated, a positive outcome is always good.

[3ringnursing, BSN]

I had been in an abusive relationship years and years ago (as an RN) ... I was frightened of my own shadow, with a toddler and no family for support. I was a lost soul floating through life wishing one day I would die in my sleep. I didn't believe there was help any where in the universe that could extradite me from my situation. I was as hopeless and as downtrodden as you could get and still function with a heartbeat.

If you've never been in this situation - first thank God - and second, don't presume you can predict how you would react. I used to have a fiery spirit that was difficult to break, but little by little I was eroded to a shell of my former self. Threats leveled against me may seem outrageous now in hindsight 2 decades later, but at the time I had no one and it was frightening. By the very nature of the abusive relationship the victim believes the things their abuser threatens them with, and cycle repeats over and over unless something makes it stop. I believe the person whom abused me enjoyed it immensely, and that he felt he had power.

Psychological warfare is a nasty game: my abuser taped all calls without my knowledge (I worked nights, so he had the phone company install a phone jack in our outside storage room while I slept ... he attached a recording device that taped when there was sound, then hid it inside of a box high on a shelf - this was in the days of landlines without cellphones). One day he said to me, "I know what you're thinking ... I'm inside your head". If that doesn't chill you to the core then probably nothing will.

My abuse went on for years - I wonder if it could have ended much sooner if there was someone who cared enough to find out what was really going on in my private life? This nurse did just that, and has my sincerest respect and gratitude for saving someone else who clearly needed saving.