Hello, Im new and Need advice

[brycenemmy]

Hello everyone. Im new here. Im kinda familiar with message boards, but this one is surely going to take some time getting used to I really need some advice.

I was currently suspended from work with accusations of Verbal abuse on the clients I worked with. Which all came as a shock to me because I never in my right mind would ever hurt anyone. I am a nurse for crying out loud. From what the director was telling me that there were a few people saying that my tone was harsh etc... I do know that some of the accusations that were given were things that had happened with another employee. or just simple things that any other employee does on a daily basis. Nothing that ever seemed like abuse to me.

I know for a fact that there were quiet a few gals I worked with that did not like me. We also recently had an open discussion at work where the director was allowing us to take a moment and vent about things that were bothering us with other employees. So I used that time to discuss it. Then a week later this accusation comes up. Im extremely hurt by the accusations and I havent stopped crying for that last few days. I would never intentionally hurt or speak disrespectfully to a client. If I did, it was not something i was not realizing I was doing. The director is now sending the information off to health services so that they can review the interview, and also call me.

The director never gave me the opportunity to explain my side. Now what Im concerned with is, will I lose my license? Im a brand new nurse, and I worked too hard to lose this. Im scared to death, and this is really causing me alot of heartache. Please.. Give me advice........

[MrChicagoRN, RN]

A harsh tone does not constitute verbal abuse. Name calling, threatens, insults etc are examples of verbal abuse.

No, you can't lose your license for just being rude (even if you were).

If your institution offerd an EAP program, give them a call. EAP is paid for by the hospital, but is completely confidential. They can help steer you in the direction you need to go for resources & often provide short term counseling to help you sort it out.

Go for it

Good Luck

[brycenemmy]

Hello!! And thank you for the response =)

They are saying that most of the accusations were verbal. And the director also told me that every person that had something to say also said that they dont believe that I was intentionally trying to be mean, or hurt the children. here are a few Examples of the accusations, My tone when saying no to the client. ( I work with DD children) One gal even said that I used a curse word. I know I never did. Its just not my nature. I dont even use those words on the outside of work. All the accusations were very Different from another. They did say that someone said I "roughly" put a child from the wheel chair to his chair. Keep in mind that this is a very spastic child. You have to grasp him a little tighter than normal just so that you dont drop him. This child has kicked me in the face, which shows how spastic he is. I NEVER would hurt him or any other child in any way. I was floored by the things that were told to me. I cant say I disagree with all the accusations. Yes, I have gotten frustrated, and may have been louder at times that normal. But when a child is pulling O2 tanks down on other children wouldnt you become louder too just out of fright for the safety of the other child? I dont know how many people get accused for things just out of malicious acts. I also dont know how easy it is to lose your license. Im truely scared, and Im so upset because I poored my heart into these kids. I put aside my own kids to tend to these ones. And for them to accuse me, it breaks my heart.

[chuck1234]

"I have gotten frustrated,"

This shows me that you will have to learn how to control it...even you were frustrated...never ever shows it.

Another thing...an open discussion does not mean you can say whatever you want to say. A nurse with a "big mouth" is considered to be dangerous. If all nurses are very open minded, and they all know how to place themselves into a bigger picture....then being a "big mouth" is a good thing; otherwise, it is going to be destructive to your career.

I hope my advice will help.

[DutchgirlRN, ASN, RN]

I think contacting the EAP is awesome advice, if your facilty doesn't have it contact a counselor on your own.

You will NOT lose your license over verbal abuse (even if you did it). It sounds to me like those that you work with don't like you for whatever reason and if that is the case it is time to look for a new job. I've been there, done that and it does not get better only worse. They'll keep looking for ways to report you and will end up hurting not only your feelings but your confidence as a nurse as well. If the manager/supervisor didn't give you a chance to explain your side...make an appt with her/him and give her your side now.

[crissrn27, RN]

It sounds very much like a he said/she said kind of situation. I don't think I would be worried.

[brycenemmy]

thank You everyone for your replies! It helps me alot to see the different views from everyone around. I think I need to clarify myself. I think I may have made it seem like I was a "big mouth" I wasnt. I was very calm when I spoke about issues going on in the house, and it wasnt a fight fest or anything of the sort. This woman that I had the issue with actually has issues with quiet a few of the gals we work with. She hardly gets along with anyone. Its just how she is I guess. and you are truely right, I should not have shown my frustration. I do know it was wrong, and I do think I need to think about that, and remind myself for later judgments. This was a learning lesson for me. Though I know in my heart I was not being abusive, I can see how maybe my tone, or frustration can come off as abuse. It was just really exaggerated by the co worker that did not like me.

[brycenemmy]

Have any of you been in any similar situations?

[chuck1234]

Have any of you been in any similar situations?

No, I have never experienced it before, nor do I think I will experience it in the future.

[traumaRUs, MSN, APRN]

I worked level one trauma center ER for 10 years and yes, I did get frustrated occasionally. However, the caveat here (and another poster also pointed out) is not to show it. When I would become frustrated, I would leave the room as soon as possible and if nothing else go to the bathroom to get myself calmed down. I know personally I could never work with DD kids but appreciate sincerely those that do.

[DutchgirlRN, ASN, RN]

No, I have never experienced it before, nor do I think I will experience it in the future.

You've been a nurse for a very short time, don't be so sure you won't have a similar experience, stress can do alot to a person, especially a nurse. I've personally never lost it with a patient but I have with a co-worker and they sometimes try to even the score in whatever way they think will hurt you the most which may be attacking your abilities or your treatment of the patients. There are mean and unethical people in every profession.

[luvbug]

I have to agree that it is a bold statement for someon to say that they don't think anything similar will happen to them in the future. It is all well and good if you truly think that, but nobody can predict the future or a bad day or the patients that seem to be deliberately "pushing your buttons." I have not been a nurse for all that long either, but I wouldn't go so far as to say something similar will not happen to me. we are nurses, yes, but we are human too. These things can happen to the best of the best, and it was not a life-threatening instance. There is a lesson to be learned with all mistakes and I'm sure one was learned here.