Nursing & Depression

abrenrn · Jan 17, 2003

Haven't been around for a while. I appreciate that one comment Mario always makes cause I surely agree - he sure is a sorry one.

mamabear · Jan 17, 2003

Mario:

:rolleyes: :nono:

micro, RN · Jan 17, 2003

I am not writing this in anyway to defend Mario......'cause he does not need defending..........and I also respect Mario.......

but just a thought.........

I see another 'tact' in how he types and takes........

reread where he states......but to the nurses that he works with in first person.....he does not need to say 'sorry' as they see how he is and how he operates......within his job and work environment.............

I think that we often tend to look to another and to see if we can find fault with them.............

rather than look at ourselves too deeply.....

or just

letting another person be..........

live and let live..............

ain't nobody sorrier than me........

because I agree.........

with the sentiment.........

that I perceive that Mario states........

without seeing my face and vocal inflections.......

what I say.........you may misinterpraaa'te'''''''''

or whatever...........

imho.........

this is a great thread.........

the growing awareness and support of each other.....

that we are all in this together.....

with our similarities and with our differences.......

breaking the stigma os mental health and illness.....

at least for ourselves........

so we can help our patients better.....when we clock on

and when we clock on........

remembering that we are just human too..............

so, to be perfunct, and to not state much of wisdom.........

but just micro brain junk..........

be well,

love and peace all,

me xoxoxoxxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxxxooooooooo

abrenrn · Jan 17, 2003

Couldn't help taking one last look here when I was doing something else. Realized I definitely do not belong but could not help speaking my one final truth. Hey, I was just agreeing with the guy.

But all feel free to comment however you want now. Those who are curious and know how to think may find it interesting to see just how quickly certain people jump in now - happens all the time - they keep quiet until they think I'm not listening then - if they think I'm gone - they come back and start badmouthing me. Don't know why they are so scared of me - is it because I have a brain that recognizes - and points out - stupidity, lies and bull?

I would apologize for offending except I don't think one should apologize for telling the truth and calling things as they are. Which is one of our problems as nurses, we always try to make nice-nice, ignore those who insult us, hoping against hope that idiots will eventually learn. Fact is, some people are teachable, others aren't and I am not wasting time anymore. People who finally choose to learn do it without my input, people who refuse continue to refuse regardless.

Sphinx, think you are doing great. To the other cool people I've met here, I'll miss you. Sadly, too many fools, I've got much better things to do these days.

YOU can click on a poster's handle to find out every place they've posted and read what they post. I never make "negative" comments till I'm sure what I'm talking about. For instance, someone comes on here, says he has no idea what depression is like then goes to another board where he describes himself as severely depressed. Has the habit of putting down women frequently - thinking he's subtle but not subtle at all.

So, anybody who thinks I've been particularly negative about anyone, click on the handle and look at what else has been posted by that person.

Much more fun to slam me than do any work though, isn't it?

micro, RN · Jan 18, 2003

and no slam intended......but you may take it as that if you must.........

i just come on to post, chill and share thoughts......if you do not like my thoughts or opinions.........that is okay.....and please

if i bore, as said of way in the past.....

if I bore, please hit ignore.........

and btw.....I do not post anything from work........too busy.........and not access to internet there.........

love and peace,

please if I offend.....

let it end.........

with me.......

this is a nursing and depression thread.....

bowing out for a bit myself..........

it is just that as a person that does know a bit about nursing and also about depression both from a professional as well as on a personal level.......

that I felt to share...........

but I will not intentionally ever 'flame or blame anyone' anylonger.........

whatever you want to think

is fine.........

micro

micro, RN · Jan 18, 2003

Originally posted by micro
*If you have never experienced depression, you have no idea what it is like*
*It is indeed a long and lonely road back*
kidsccrn-----
'the answers they give are so simple, aren't they'
'living the solution is not
take care as you can
micro

to quote myself of a ways back.......

been there and done that......

sometimes words have merit.....

sometimes they are strong.....

sometimes they are powerful.....

and sometimes....wrong.....

sometimes we all just dribble

or drivel, drivel along.......

and sometimes not.......

and then again.....sometimes we just squat!!!!!!!!!

---------micro

life, nursing and depression.........

all serious subjects...........

of a serious bent me.........

and so enough of micro be wordseeeee'

so below will share one of my all time favorite poems.....

sure, not new to majority of you here.....

but it is one that I live by today.......

and gender doesn't matter.....

but what the words say.........

it is indeed all up to me.....

The Guy in the Glass

When you get what you want in your struggle for self,

And the world makes you King for a day,

Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,

And see what that guy has to say.

For it isn't your Father, or Mother, or Wife,

Who judgement upon you must pass,

The feller whose verdict counts most in your life

Is the guy staring back from the glass.

He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest,

For he's with you clear up to the end,

And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test

If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may be like Jack Horner and 'chisel' a plum,

And think you're a wonderful guy,

But the man in the glass ways you're only a bum

If you can't look him straight in the eye.

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,

And get pats on the back as you pass,

But your final reward will be heartaches and tears

If you've cheated the guy in the glass.

Dale Wimbrow

(1895-1954)

today, I choose what I do with sometimes deliberate thought.....

and somedays I do not take myself so seriously.........

words are just words folks, be well,

take care for yourself, you are each #1

micro:p

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Jan 18, 2003

Come on everybody, can't we all just get along??

Seriously, I'd hate for anyone to stop posting on this thread because it's been valuable to a good number of members, and we ought to be able to "agree to disagree" with one another. I myself have had some issues with Mario's posts, but he has a right to his opinion, as does abrern, micro, and everyone else. Please don't stop posting here, you guys; we obviously need to keep the dialogue going, or there wouldn't have been 500+ posts.

Love to all of you!:kiss

mattsmom81 · Jan 18, 2003

LONG WINDED POST>>>>WARNING...hehehe

Something I've learned a long time ago on these boards is to utilize the ignore feature. Sometimes (usually) I do it for a short time only to regain my perspective and keep me from saying something I may regret.

We're indeed all in this world (and BB) together and if we bug one another once in awhile that is understandable. I've come to expect it...we are all only human after all. I've met some wonderful people here and don't wish it to cease to exist.

It is only those who aggravate 'on purpose'...rankling, goading, game playing... that really distress me. Some live for a fight it seems; or to rip open old wounds. Those few on this board I keep on permanent ignore. it saves me a LOT of purposeless aggravation.

That said, now back to what this thread was established for...discussion and sharing on depression. I've come to a slow realization that my depression has to do with something I am just now admitting is occurring...the loss of my career as I have known it. I've been taking part in some denial with this. Yes, I've had pain and illness....but the truth now is becoming clearer: it is this loss of the 'nurse' part of me and the ability to do the kind of nursing I have done for so many years that is behind a lot of my depression now. Hmmm. I really had no idea my 'sense of self' was sooooo wrapped up in my career and it is frightening to see.

I have some work to do here.

I wrote myself an affirmation 'poem' (Micro you are rubbing off on me sweetie) I will share...perhaps it will help someone else as I reaffirm this everyday for strength:

I will no longer waste precious time and energy trying to control things I cannot control.

I will focus day by day to improve the things I CAN improve.

I will choose a healthy diet TODAY.

I will excercise 30 minutes 5 times a week starting TODAY.

I will take my medications to help me from feeling overwhelmed.

I will avoid people and places that bring me down and keep me there.

I will make good decisions TODAY.

I will pray for help and encouragement and ask those who love me to encourage me...so I can keep my promises to myself.

I may never practice as a nurse again...not practice as I have known it...not in any sense of the word....

I need to get OK with that...and pray for the courage to let go of that part of me...courage to become the best I can

in new contexts and old.

Every day I will renew these promises and resist becoming

powerless and hopeless...

choosing instead to be powerful and hopeful

every day.

Luv ya'll! :kiss and (((HUGS)))

sphinx, BSN, RN · Jan 18, 2003

ummm, well just for the record, when I asked Mario why he has started saying I'm sorry, it was just out of curiosity, not as a put down or anything. Mario, I apologize if I have unwittingly put you back into the middle of the fire, so to say!

And Mattsmom, I know what you mean about not practiceing nursing (or at least as you know it) again. I've doing this in office position now, and while who knows what the future may hold, I have to wonder if I'll ever be able to go back to patient care? I've already come to grips that I can't handle hospital nursing (rotating shifts, short staff), and while I love many aspects of home care, the paperwork I was drowning in was just killing me. At the moment, I am still learning my new job, so I end up going a bit early and/or staying late, but at least I am not doing paperwork all night long. It is better for me, and for my family. What is hard, is that now the shoe is on the other foot, and in the mornings, I am the one who gives people openings, asks nurses to rearrange their schedules, etc. We were already short staffed, now with me out it is worse. I feel guilty, but inside, I know they'd be short staffed whether I took this job or not, as I'd quit anyway! In any case, yesterday was bad, people sick, days off, no perdiem help, horrid driving conditions, I was late driving in.......so it got hectic, and I am such a freaking perfectioninst and so proud, and waited a little too long to ask for help. My boss is going on vacation for 2 weeks, so I have to learn to ask for help before getting overwhelmed. Anyway, I got off track. What I was saying is, this position is considered a nursing position, but it hardly feels like it. I like it so far, but it's gonna be an adjustment in the long run. Oh, one good thing, I was going to get a small pay cut (well, actually will till Jan31), but at the end of the month the raises are coming in, and even with the change in jobs, and after being out on disability a lot, and all my problems, I still got a raise, So in other words, no decrease in pay.

I like your affirmations. I am not that far, but I'm coming. I am still increasing on the lamictal, but showing improvement, and my psychiatrist is pleased as am I and my family, as you could guess! For now, it is enough to get up early for work. To come home and spend time with my kids and my husband. To help pick up the kitchen. To start doing little clean up things around the house. To be more alive, and less the slug I have been for so many, many months.:)

mattsmom81 · Jan 18, 2003

I like your affirmations too Sphinx! And I'm glad you are choosing to make positive changes for yourself! ((HUGS))

I interviewed yesterday to try and do some private duty and/or fee per visit home visits (NOT case management) on a very LIMITED basis. We shall see what comes of it...I signed on with an agency not a home care business.

I'm readying myself for the 'big push ' that comes with healthcare...they will try to wheedle me into doing more than I wish to do (IS there anywhere nurses work that doesn't do this to us???) and I'm setting down my limits for myself now ahead of time. I have told them I am NOT interested in doing any heavy lifting cases ...so this may automatically disqualify me for the job from the get go...(they get scared of the injury risk factor if we try to avoid lifting it seems) but we'll see.

If I get this job, I may need your guidance Sphinx... as your niche is in homecare....say a prayer for me, girlfriend...LOL!! :)

micro, RN · Jan 18, 2003

hey to all.........

cool.............just using words like bowing out for a bit as a way of expressing self........and also as a choice if i chose too'.........

sphinx, you indeed do sound like some peace and semblence of peace is returning.......

mattsmom.........truly like the words you shared..........those were yours and I thank you..........

abrern.........ditto back PM.........

mario,

keep on posting here and anywhere.........I publicly thank you here for helping me see a bit of my depression/life in another light(previous to this thread)

carpe de em---------original author of this great thread........come on back and visit.....your words I truly love to read and connect with.........

and now back to the original thoughts that the original author of this thread.........intended.....

nursing and depression.......

matt's mom.......boy howdy.....did you state it.........for myself.....

I was definitely predisposed for a 'depression of sorts'.....from a very early age...........and have always sought to 'get over it' by excelling or changing what I did...............so to be better than........

as a child, this may occur as withdrawing, acting out, being _____. as a teenager, becoming more of a brat, acting out and _________. as a _________. and the epilogue goes on.........

and though in college, and when I applied myself.....I was an 'ace high student' but soon became an all or nothing.....

if I cannot have it all then nothing is me=====depression, without even seeing it to the degree that it was.........

and hence a pattern of life, living, and thinking......that is destructive to self.........

at work, prior to nursing.........I always found myself in areas of helping people..............

day care even.....imagine that.....

then working with adults and children with varying degrees of mental retardation and related physical conditions.....

then I returned to nursing school at age 27-28.........

but still never found the 'optimum answer'.........

like, you said mmom,

I was looking for an answer in my career.............

not in myself...........

I am a slow learner, but many moons since being 27-28.........

I am finally finding the answer does start with me.......thanks to the help of my friends, a bit of medicine, and a new way of living.........odaat........

so I am not making light in anyway of depression.....

lived and live it.........but live it less today........

and I from my heart thank those in this life and yes, right here....

for showing me the other side of .................

Love-A-Nurse · Jan 18, 2003

interesting topic.

i don't know any one personally, who is a nurse or otherwise, that take medications for depression and i don't either. i have found that it is being discuss more and think this fact alone has help in some form to rid its bitterness or at least let one know it's alright to say the word, depression.

Nursing & Depression

Nurses and Depression/Anxiety