Nursing & Depression - page 35

While visiting in the lounge one day, we discovered that every nurse there was on an anti-depressant. I have had 'Treatment Resistant Depression' for about 20 years--as long as I've been a nurse. ... Read More

  1. by   mamabear
    Sphinx, good for you!! You're the only one who can take care of you. I know it had to have been a very difficult decision, but you're probably feeling way better already.
    Bella, if it's any help: college has been dumbed waaay down. I attended various colleges and universities off and on from 1964 to 2001, majoring in such diverse areas as music ed, accounting, nursing and behavioral science. I got an associate's in nursing in 1982 and a bachelor's in behavioral science in 2001. The course contents got progressively easier with time, and I know it wasn't due to any increase in brain power on my part: it was solely to accomodate the students. Those of you 20-and-30 somethings, please don't get all riled up and inundate me with irate messages. Anyway, don't sweat it.:kiss
    Nursing per se doesn't give you depression, but if you're predisposed to it, it might make it more difficult. With all the different antidepressant meds available, not to mention off-label uses of things like Depakote and Neurontin, depression isn't the hoplessly awful thing it once was. Go for it!!
  2. by   NurseGirlKaren
    Anne--glad you're back after your hiatus!!
  3. by   BellaTerra2002
    Thanks to all of you for your replies. But I already knew my answer for myself when I seriously thought of NOT going to nursing school: Not a chance! I'm going to nursing school! And I'm going to graduate! And I'm going to get a job!

    I can't imagine NOT going into nursing, SO I guess that's that.

    Thanks for your encouragement. I appreciate it no end. :kiss

    Bella Terra

    PS: Yes, I know about college being 'dumbed down'. I've been going to college off and on all of my adult life. (It's only taken me 35 years to get my AA degree! :chuckle ) Not to mention that I went to high school in the early 60's, and when I see high school curriculum and course work now, I just about flip. It's about what I learned in Catholic grade school.
  4. by   abrenrn
    Thanks for the welcome back!!

    Tough day; I was scolded by a dentist, told by a potential employer that I would have to start a job in 3 weeks if I want to work there at all. But, there are many dentists and, since I can't relocate from Fl to NY in 3 weeks, guess I'll stay in Fl. I also found a new friend (I hope).

    Bella - I mean it about BSN generally easier than ADN. Check it out since you already have an AA. Thing of the huge differentials they pay.

    When they let me nurse, I love it. It takes a good mind to do good nursing: one that can assess all aspects of the patient, figure out what problems they have and come up with solutions. Sometimes the solutions must be creative (I took a class in creative drama, I swear it helped me in nursing).

    Thank all of you.

    I went to Catholic grade school too. I'm amazed by students today.
  5. by   abrenrn
    Just started a new thread, "On sabbatical?" Poll and asking for interest in a national organization. May not seem related to depression but I think it is. If you can, take a look.
  6. by   mario_ragucci
    Last edit by mario_ragucci on Dec 15, '02
  7. by   teeituptom
    Howdy yall
    from deep in the heart of texas

    Mario that is really a very sad response from you. You owe them an apology for this. I may not agree with whay they say but they have a right to say it.
    Besides communist nurse and cloisters do not mix in the same sentence well at all.

    Doo wah ditty
  8. by   abrenrn
    I don't know if something has changed with me or if something has changed with Mario but - I find myself agreeing with him these days!

    My only problem is with how he says things some times. I've said the same thing, perhaps on a different thread, in different words.

    I have used the ignore feature only once on this board. That was for someone who became extremely abusive (from my point of view, from his, I merely deserved the verbal lashings; our points of view could not meet anywhere).

    I understand the desire to ignore certain posts, they frustrate me, they aggravate me, sometimes they put me on a defensive course that looks aggressive to others. But -

    First, if I want to understand the dynamics of a thread, I have to read everything on the thread. It's like assessing a patient, the more you know, the more you know. I try to read through an entire thread before I post to avoid: repeating what has been said; missing the point of the discussion; getting slammed. If I have ignored posts, the responses don't make sense.

    Second, I find I learn from everything - even the posts I don't like. Sometimes I learn by analyzing my response to the post. By engaging in another boards thread on the killings in Arizona, I figured out what I had missed about Bob (the killer). Right after I figured out something, someone emailed me an analysis that matched my own, learned experientially.

    Though it could have been put better, Soviet Union is a good analogy. In the Soviet Union, dissenting voices were silenced - by force. The ignore feature silences dissent. It's not done by force, but by the same intent.

    The cloister is also a good analogy. In cloisters, people lock themselves away from earthly problems and focus on one thing - God. This is a good thing but my problem with cloistered nuns, say, is that they prayed for everyone but they never tried to feed anyone (raised Catholic, BTW). When I was younger, it seemed an ideal way to live. But, I can't help worrying about Mario, Sphinx, Youda, MattsMom, etc. I tried not to, I stayed away from here for a bit, but I had to come back and see how you all were doing.

    If anyone has read this far (I've been saying much more than necessary these days), this is my conclusion:

    Overall, ignoring others is a bad strategy. But sometimes you have to. If you can only focus on the negative, go away for a while, learn how to focus on positive, come back and evaluate from a fresh point of view.

    Remember, nobody in Germany knew what was going on during the Holocaust. They saw as little as they could manage.

    Sometimes I think the same is true in nursing. In our desire to take care of patients, we try not to see a system that tries to keep us from it. When we know something is wrong but agree to accept the blame, we become depressed. When we don't want to be blamed, we agree that nothing is wrong. We blame others who say something is wrong (new nurses, "arrogant" nurses, experienced nurses).

    Since the system seems to say that only nurses are at fault, we agree. We blame ourselves for our imperfections or we blame every nurse around us.

    I'm tired of blaming and scolding. I want to accept responsibility for my actions and hold others accountable for theirs.

    Please join me in the NONOS. See thread, "on sabbatical".
  9. by   abrenrn
    Short version:

    I agree with Mario, not how he said it.
    Hard to follow a conversation when you ignore some of the voices in it.
    Time to stop ignoring problems in nursing.
    Join my group.
    All politics is local.

  10. by   sphinx
    Since I have opted, in this case to actually utilize the ignore feature, I don't know the content of "said post", but in regards to using the ignore feature.I understand what you are saying Anne, and I respect and understand it. In theory I'd like to do it, and in fact, try to do so. However, in my case, I have been around the internet and different types of boards, groups, etc;, to know that sometimes it is in my and everyone else's best interests to utilize my "killfile". This was brought home to me when I was very active with a large usenet group This is of course unmoderated, and has it's share of trolls, as well as legit people with all sorts of mood disorders, some of whom can get to a point where they are, well, hard to take at times. I did however meet many wonderful people there.....many of whom I met in person, still keep in touch with, in fact, I met my *husband* there. (yup, you heard that right). I was VERY active there. Sometimes after a while things got too hot and I left temporarilly and I left, but always went back. I eventually left for good, because of one particualr poster, who had rigged it to make it very difficult, near impossible to block his posts (I supposed I could have invested in a sophisticated softwear blocking system, but it wasn't worth it). Like a train wreck, I couldn't avoid him, even though I tried. This guy triggered me so bad. I would get so wrapped up, that I would just go off the deep end. That is my problem. Most times, I am fine. I can relate, debate, support and be supported. But sometimes I run into someone or something that gets under my skin, and it sucks me in (I know, I *allow* it to suck me in), and I become embroiled and obsessed in something that does nothing but bring me down. For a long time I just let this happen again and again, as I didn't have the insight into myself to know what I was allowing myself to get into. I finally realized that the only way to out of these messes, was to utilize my killfile/block (or, better yet, not to get into it at all). To get OUT of the situation before it gets too deep and I can't pull myself out. In the group I mentioned, I couldn't pull myself out the the situation with the guy, and couldn't block him, and all I could do was unsubscribe. I go back periodically, and he is still there, so I promply make my exit. It is what I need to do to keep me sane. Now I belong to a much smaller support group at yahoo groups with a closed membership, and don't have that problem. And frankly, for a long time, I never had one problem here with Mario, I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, even though I didn't like what he was saying all the times. (he has a basic right idea with the eat right, drink water, exercise bit, but it doesn't cut it for severe depression....) but at some point he said something that got under my skin, and from that point on, it was over, and everything was suspect, and subject of the inner rage it had triggered inside me. This is an ugly thing inside me, and I'm not proud of it. That's why when I found out I could use the ignore, that I jumped at the chance. I don't *want* to be ugly and nasty. I don't want to be mean and provocative. If you are reading this Mario, know that by ignoring you I am doing us both a favor. My anger and rage is not always rational, and it's not fair to you to have to put up with my tirades, which tend to get uglier as time goes on. I know this about myself. I am working on changing that (have been, for years), and have had a huge improvement.....but for now, the best thing for me is to step away from whatever issue triggers me. This thread is a safe place, and I don't want to be the cause of fights or bitterness, just because I have some inner rage that was triggerred by one statement by one person.
    OK, enough, enough. Ugh, when will these meds start working already?! haha...
  11. by   abrenrn
    Sphinx -

    I think your meds are working. I read your whole post and I have been through the same thing. What I have learned during this process is: why can't my eyes just ignore something I see as negative? why would I keep looking? What I find is that it is something I need to look at. BUT - it takes me a while sometimes and I don't always have time to get embroiled in one problem. I have to prioritize. Which is why I left this thread and allnurses for a bit. I said I'd never come back. This was not a lie - I merely changed my mind. Isn't that supposed to be a woman's right? I'm egalitarian, I think it's a man's right too.

    BTW, I'm not sure, but I think I was the first person to "yell" at Mario. I think it started when I asked him to try taking the damned antidepressants if he was so curious about them. I felt, and I might have imposed my own feelings, that the thread was being distracted from its point. After the drill sergeant, I guess I was pretty mean, but, to me, a drill sergeant has always lived in my head - I've just about kicked him out.

    Now, I come back, I see Mario here, and - my god - I agree with him. I still think he could use some toning down in his choice of language. In all honesty, I don't know if I've changed or if he has. Something changed, though, otherwise we would just bicker. Bickering doesn't accomplish anything.

    And, thanks, Sphinx. You brought this back when I needed it. I sound wise only because I tend to beat most of this up alone before asking for help. That takes a lot out of me.

    So, not exactly related to depression. Does anyone have any advice on dentures? I have finally decided it is time for me to become a toothless old hag - but I don't want anyone else to know, so I want the dentures right away.

    Off point except my teeth make me very depressed.
  12. by   Youda
    When someone pushes your buttons, I think it is IMPERATIVE to examine why! It's easy to blame the person for pushing your buttons, but that misses the point entirely. There's always a reason why someone gets to you, and it has NOTHING to do with the person doing the pushing! No one makes you irritated, angry, happy, or sad. These are just reactions WITHIN yourself. Figure out why the person annoys you or makes you mad and you learn something valuable about yourself.

    You need to look inside yourself and figure out what that person is hooking into that you are burying in your own psych. Sometimes it's feelings of insecurity, sometimes it is because that person is subconsciously reminding you of a failure or some secret thing you fear about yourself. But, it is NEVER the person's fault who is pushing the buttons! These feelings of insecurity, unlovable, guilt, fear, are THE things that someone hooks into when they "push your buttons." Anger and annoyance is just the emotion these fears and insecurities USE to hide themselves from your conscious knowledge of them. It isn't comfortable or fun to feel them, so we blame someone else for CAUSING it, or MAKING us angry, when -- in fact -- no one can MAKE or CAUSE you to feel anything. What you feel is purely a response to your own internal network of "being."

    Turn it around and look inside yourself! What is in your subconscious that makes the words/actions set off a reaction in you?

    For example, I read Mario's posts and delight in them. They are funny, honest, and often truly trying to help. I don't even find the words he uses as offensive or questionable. I read the "communist" post and clapped because he was standing up for himself instead of just taking someone else's flame toward him!

    So, why do you think different people can read the same post and it hit them so differently? Because Mario doesn't "push any of my buttons." He does yours! The answer isn't with Mario, it's with YOU!

    When you understand why your buttons get pushed, you uncover a part of yourself. When you take those fears and insecurities out of the stuffed and hidden parts of your mind, and bring them into the bright light of conscious inspection, to introspection, you begin to find some of the reasons depression lives within you! I say that because when you harbor secret throughts about yourself as being unworthy, guilty, stupid, unlovable, whatever, then it HELPS the depression-cycle continue.

    Look into yourself, don't flame! Flaming says more about YOU than it does the person you are objecting to! (This isn't directed toward anyone in particular, so don't get your panties in a twist. I am talking about a principle, not a person or a post!)
    Last edit by Youda on Dec 14, '02
  13. by   cargal
    Originally posted by sphinx
    [ I don't *want* to be ugly and nasty. I don't want to be mean and provocative. If you are reading this Mario, know that by ignoring you I am doing us both a favor. My anger and rage is not always rational, and it's not fair to you to have to put up with my tirades, which tend to get uglier as time goes on. I know this about myself. I am working on changing that (have been, for years), and have had a huge improvement.....but for now, the best thing for me is to step away from whatever issue triggers me. This thread is a safe place, and I don't want to be the cause of fights or bitterness, just because I have some inner rage that was triggerred by one statement by one person.
    OK, enough, enough. Ugh, when will these meds start working already?! haha... [/B]
    Ditto what Sphix said. Thank you. Perhaps I should take my own advice.