Have you ever emulated a coworker in order to succeed with a patient?

[SilverBells, BSN]

Have you ever had a patient you just did not connect with, who also had family members you clashed with? If so, have you ever had a coworker whom you thought would do a better job with this patient, but transferring this patient to their care wasn't an option, so you had to find a way to make it work?  How did you handle this?  Did you try to emulate some of your coworkers' strengths in order to successfully care for this patient? 

Right now, I have a patient who regularly gets under my skin.   He has a couple of family members who are even worse to deal with.   They have very strong personalities, the type that make me very anxious.   I already naturally have a high level of anxiety, and these individuals unfortunately worsen it to the point where I'm not able to function for a period of time after interacting with them.   My co-manager, however, is very headstrong and assertive, and I honestly believe they would appreciate her much better than me.  In an ideal world, she would be the one overseeing for this person's care, because they need her, or at least someone similar to her.  

Unfortunately, transferring this patient to her care isn't an option.  I've already indirectly inferred multiple times that he would probably thrive much better on her unit, and have basically been shot down, stating that moving him isn't an option.  So, I have to find a way to make it work and am trying to brainstorm ways to emulate her behavior and qualities.  I'm struggling, because I'm not naturally headstrong like she is, but somehow I need to find a way to pull myself together until he discharges from the facility.   

Has anyone ever experienced anything similar?  How did you successfully emulate a coworker's personality in order to oversee a patient assignment that really wasn't a good match? 

[Davey Do]

The vast majority of my dealings with difficult patients I've learned from those who have gone before me, taking an eclectic approach.

So as not to be seen as placating or praying a part- which it really is- I've interwoven the technique into my own personality. If we learned a technique which is successful, weave it into our personality, it can become institutionalized within our behavioral response system.

Lord knows if I had reacted how I truly felt toward difficult patients, I'd be serving successive life term sentences in prison.

[SmilingBluEyes]

I don't think you should emulate anyone.  You should build a relationship with this patient based on being your best self.

Don't copy others; it's inauthentic.

[Davey Do]

We all emulate to some degree.

As student nurses, we watched and listened to how our instructors interacted with patients. In a sense, we copied their behavior. We used what we saw worked and we emulated them; we used their behavior as a point of reference from which to work and expand.

As previously noted, we can learn a method, use it repeatedly, and institutionalize it within who we are. Everything we learn is through repetition and association.

For example, when dealing with psychotic, acting out patients, I learned from those who knew what they were doing, certain approaches, techniques, words and phrases to use. I also learned from those with limited insight what not to do, as their approach did not work or escalated the behavior.

In emulating my good teachers, I merely made their techniques my techniques

[HiddenAngels]

Oh yes I've dealt with this.  I actually go in boisterous and say "hello everyone," after that I leave the floor open for them to talk and ask questions.  A lot of times people just want to be acknowledged, heard or listened to.  When they're done I basically ask, is there anything else you guys need and then wrap it up.  They tend to be calm and polite after that.  This is what works for me.

[amoLucia]

DD - can really relate to your 2nd post. I too, have learned much from watching others and then trying to incorporate others' into my own practice.

FWIW, I have thought some folk were the 'best-est' negotiators EVER.

Is that EMULATION? That almost sounds like worship. I believe imitation is most approp.

 

[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

18 hours ago, amoLucia said:

Is that EMULATION? That almost sounds like worship. I believe imitation is most approp.

I think that all of those descriptions, in the scenario we're discussing, are really just called learning. As we navigate life we are constantly experiencing new situations, some positive and some negative. One of the things we can use as a learning tool is the behaviors of others that lead to a desired outcome. If I try to use something I've seen that has been successful for someone else, that doesn't necessarily mean I'm trying to imitate/emulate them, it means I'm evolving my own practice to achieve my own goals. But, if it's not accompanied by a genuine interest in growing as a person, that to me comes across as imitating, which I think would feel fake.

So yes, have I learned things from others, in all areas of my life, that I now incorporate into my own life. We all want to be better people in many areas of our lives, so using what we can of our life experiences for positive growth is a good thing. 

[SilverBells, BSN]

So, I'm still working on figuring out the best way to work with the patient in the original post.  Who knows--he very well might be discharged before an effective approach can ever be found. 

However, today I found a way to use or emulate some of my coworker's traits in order to advocate for a different patient.  One thing that my coworker does well is she offers suggestions that may help her patients, regardless of what other people's opinions might be, and even when those suggestions might result in more work for herself.   I, on the other hand, am a bit more cautious when it comes to things like this.  

Today, however, I came up with an idea after receiving a resident complaint.  The complaint involved a concern for a continued nontherapeutic working relationship between that resident and a particular nurse.  I actually have a pretty good rapport with this patient, and started thinking, "Why not move this patient to my rehab unit where I can closer monitor her care and where she would essentially have no contact with this other nurse?"  Because she was a LTC patient, and the unit I had in mind was a rehab unit,  I had my doubts that this idea would be accepted.  I also knew that if she does come over to my unit,  that will likely mean more work for myself, given her complex medical history requiring many medications and treatments throughout the day.

However,  I figured I would bring forth my thoughts anyway. Turns out, upper management loved it and is looking into ways to make it work.  So, we'll see--hopefully it'll be a good change for this patient. 

As a side note, I do wonder if others were more receptive to this suggestion since it didn't involve delegating responsibility to someone else or transferring this patient to a different person's unit.  Maybe, maybe not, but something to think about. 

[Davey Do]

10 hours ago, SilverBells said:

One thing that my coworker does well is she offers suggestions that may help her patients, regardless of what other people's opinions might be

Abraham Lincoln said, "Towering genius disdains a beaten path".

Kudos to your coworker who takes a path despite others' opinions, and to you, SilverBells, for recognizing and taking it also.