How do you handle it when a patient asks you to pray with them? I do not have the same belief system as my patients (I live in the Bible Belt) and when asked to participate I have always tried to skirt the issue by standing silently/respectfully/supportivley while they did the praying. Recently, I was asked to do the actual convocation/prayer. I was speechless. The patent assumed I was Christian. Everyone around here is, it is a pretty safe guess, lol. I am an atheist, but I largely keep that to myself. I told him I wasn't comfortable but that I would stay with him while he prayed. He got very angry and started accussing me of being a Muslim (!?!?!) and a terrorist (?!?!?!).
At that point, I just had to leave the room, b/c how do you respond to that?
He was VERY upset, VERY hostile to me after that, and complained about me all the next day. They had him transferred to med-surg even though he wasn't really ready b/c if he stayed in the unit I'd have been his nurse again (we only HAVE one nurse in the 4 bed CCU) and the charge nurse decided that was a recipie for disastor.
I have felt uneasy about it since then. He didn't get the nursing care he should have because I handled it poorly. However, I don't know what else I could have done. I don't think being dishonest is the answer. Prayer does not offend me, though I'm acutely aware that my atheism would offend many. :shrug: I am very happy to be respectfully present. I am not going to fake pray though, I thnk that is very innapporpriate for a number of reasons.
Any suggestions on how I could do better next time?
Catholic not Christian certainly is the biggest oxymoron, yet. Can't say I've hear that one , though I have heard a lot of anti Catholic stuff from other Christians.
aeauooo, you have that right.
Ah, the ignorance people have about their OWN religious doctrine just blows one's mind. And it blows too.
I'm a spiritual person, not so much religious. In situations like that, I have very empathetically said, "I would be happy to be here with you while you pray." I think "being there" gives the patients a sense of support and strength...
I agree with another poster who said it's odd you are the one beating yourself up and thinking about what you did wrong. We are nurses -- we are to provide compassionate care, we aren't and should NOT be expected to change our beliefs or compromise ourselves or pretend for our patients. I expect my patients to have the same respect for my culture, religion, person, sex, gender, etc that I am expected to have for them. Nothing less.
Specializes in Pediatric Intensive Care, Urgent Care.
Don't ever ever apologize for someone else's lack of human kindness!! In fact...maybe a prayer wouldn't have helped at that point considering the attitude...hmmm...
How do you handle it when a patient asks you to pray with them? I do not have the same belief system as my patients (I live in the Bible Belt) and when asked to participate I have always tried to skirt the issue by standing silently/respectfully/supportivley while they did the praying. Recently, I was asked to do the actual convocation/prayer. I was speechless. The patent assumed I was Christian. Everyone around here is, it is a pretty safe guess, lol. I am an atheist, but I largely keep that to myself. I told him I wasn't comfortable but that I would stay with him while he prayed. He got very angry and started accussing me of being a Muslim (!?!?!) and a terrorist (?!?!?!).
At that point, I just had to leave the room, b/c how do you respond to that?
He was VERY upset, VERY hostile to me after that, and complained about me all the next day. They had him transferred to med-surg even though he wasn't really ready b/c if he stayed in the unit I'd have been his nurse again (we only HAVE one nurse in the 4 bed CCU) and the charge nurse decided that was a recipie for disastor.
I have felt uneasy about it since then. He didn't get the nursing care he should have because I handled it poorly. However, I don't know what else I could have done. I don't think being dishonest is the answer. Prayer does not offend me, though I'm acutely aware that my atheism would offend many. :shrug: I am very happy to be respectfully present. I am not going to fake pray though, I thnk that is very innapporpriate for a number of reasons.
Any suggestions on how I could do better next time?
You didn't handle it poorly, the pt was way out of line. But I understand, I'm not religious (agnostic) in the Bible Belt as well; it can make you feel very different, which I'm sure you can relate to.
In the past, pts have asked me what church I attend; I answer, I don't go to church. Usually, this is the end of the discussion. Sometimes, they invite me to come to their church, and I say something like, "Sounds like a nice church". I don't say that I'm not religious, and don't correct them if they assume that I am. Why should I? If it makes them feel better to think everyone believes as they do, why should I disagree? I strongly believe that all religions and beliefs are equally valid (and this, of course, includes non-belief).
As for prayer, I haven't been asked to participate, but have been present when family or friends prayed with a pt. Once a pt had two friends visit who were Baptist ministers; they prayed, and I was very impressed (they were very tolerant and understanding when I didn't participate, as most ministers/chaplains are). If asked to provide prayer support, I would offer to contact the chaplain.
Once I was asked by a chronic pt if I believed in God; I said something like, "I would rather not discuss my beliefs". He was satisfied with that.
Most pts will be fine with any of these approaches, including the way you handled your situation. Those who aren't - well, they have a problem, not you.
Specializes in Medical/Surgical/Maternal and Child.
Iconoclast I'm a Catholic and respect other peoples beliefs expect the same consideration from members of other beliefs. I think you handled the situation quite well. However, if there are no chaplains on the weekends and you get hit with this problem again, just offer to call the patient's clergyman to come to the hospital to pray with them
You know, I'm a Christian and I've never been asked to participate in a ritual or prayer of someone else's faith who is not a Christian also. But this thread has got me thinking what I would do if asked, and so for that, I thank you all.
Agnus
2,719 Posts
Catholic not Christian certainly is the biggest oxymoron, yet. Can't say I've hear that one , though I have heard a lot of anti Catholic stuff from other Christians.
aeauooo, you have that right.
Ah, the ignorance people have about their OWN religious doctrine just blows one's mind. And it blows too.