How do you handle it when a patient asks you to pray with them? I do not have the same belief system as my patients (I live in the Bible Belt) and when asked to participate I have always tried to skirt the issue by standing silently/respectfully/supportivley while they did the praying. Recently, I was asked to do the actual convocation/prayer. I was speechless. The patent assumed I was Christian. Everyone around here is, it is a pretty safe guess, lol. I am an atheist, but I largely keep that to myself. I told him I wasn't comfortable but that I would stay with him while he prayed. He got very angry and started accussing me of being a Muslim (!?!?!) and a terrorist (?!?!?!).
At that point, I just had to leave the room, b/c how do you respond to that?
He was VERY upset, VERY hostile to me after that, and complained about me all the next day. They had him transferred to med-surg even though he wasn't really ready b/c if he stayed in the unit I'd have been his nurse again (we only HAVE one nurse in the 4 bed CCU) and the charge nurse decided that was a recipie for disastor.
I have felt uneasy about it since then. He didn't get the nursing care he should have because I handled it poorly. However, I don't know what else I could have done. I don't think being dishonest is the answer. Prayer does not offend me, though I'm acutely aware that my atheism would offend many. :shrug: I am very happy to be respectfully present. I am not going to fake pray though, I thnk that is very innapporpriate for a number of reasons.
Any suggestions on how I could do better next time?
The rest - I stand by what I said, although I appreciate you clarifying your remarks, and your first post makes more sense now, with some additional context.
I believe this is the first time I have ever defined my religious affiliation on this board. I fail to see how it is important. Yet interestingly enough is is very important.
The more I learn about particular beliefs the more I realize I do not know.
I think this is a classic example of a word's meaning deviating from the original definition. It is not offensive to me to be called a "non-Christian" but it is offensive to be called a "heathen." One has a quite negative connotation, and the other does not. I think this is similar to the word "Negro". The meaning has changed from its original usage.
Agnus, I do appreciate you clarifying what you meant, and I genuinely appreciate what you've said.
It has a negative connotation to some Christians. Not to me. So I do not take offense. To me it just means I am not one of them which is true.
I believe this is the first time I have ever defined my religious affiliation on this board. I fail to see how it is important. Yet interestingly enough is is very important.
The more I learn about particular beliefs the more I realize I do not know.
I wasn't referring to your religious affiliation so much, Agnus. I was talking about the additional context you provided about the thoughts in your first post.
well I figure that is a big part of the context that you refer to. The rest of it was simply restating that I meant what I wrote not what you read into it.
Anyway I brought it up because in the past no one actually asked what my beliefs or religion were they simply assumed and that made for an in effective conversation. So I decided it was time to declare myself so that maybe you had a better context.
There is a sign post on the way to heaven. It says to discussion about heaven.
Most people go to the left toward heaven but every once in a while someone turns right toward the discussion group.
As he approached the pearly gates a man asked St. Peter why those people going to the right don't just turn left and go straight to heaven. "Oh," says St. Peter, "those are Unitarians."
As he approached the pearly gates a man asked St. Peter why those people going to the right don't just turn left and go straight to heaven. "Oh," says St. Peter, "those are Unitarians."
Specializes in Gyn Onc, OB, L&D, HH/Hospice/Palliative.
WOW,I think that pt was totally out of line, you went above and beyond with respecting other's faith/prayer. I would have done the same. If a pt asks me to pray with them, I do so in silence out of respect. I think someone needs to start posting NURSES RIGHTS next to the patient rights!! JMO
Yes the pt was out of line. On the other hand I personally would prefer this degree of honesty (when directed toward me.) than to have them try and hide their bigotry, just to be socially correct.
People do not hide bigotry well for long.If you do not appreciate my nursing care then I do not want to fight you over it. I would prefer you have someone else care for you. It makes for a very bad day for BOTH of us if I continue to care for you when you don't want me around.
With that said, when it is another nurse or staff member a pt is showing a bigoted attitude toward I am the first to pull them up short and defend that staff member, and let the pt know that this is unacceptable behavior.
Do not misunderstand when I am attacked by a bigot directly I am not unwilling to point out the incongurency of their behavior with their professed beliefs. but I still very happy when they "fire me" or I am simply reassigned.
No matter what the reason when a pt or family member wants another nurse I do not get my feeling hurt. I am relieved, as it is a lot easier to get a new assignement it they demand it than if I do. If they are unhappy with me you can bet I am unhappy with that assignment.
Agnus, we (you and I) had this same discussion about a year ago on our state-specific board. I must have incorrectly remembered you as a Christian from that discussion.
Agnus,
I just found the old thread I referred to. I mixed you up with another member entirely. I am sorry. For some reason, I confused you with someone else, and it skewed my interpretation of what you were saying on this thread.
to the OP please do not feel bad this pt had to go to a lower level of care prematurely. He got the level of care that was available to him given the parameters that HE set.
His behavior is not consistent with Biblical teaching.
I just found the old thread I referred to. I mixed you up with another member entirely. I am sorry. For some reason, I confused you with someone else, and it skewed my interpretation of what you were saying on this thread.
Heck I can not remember yesterday let alone who I talk to here a a particular subject. Thank god for CRS. Humm? Did that come out right?
i am catholic in the bible belt and sometimes get the "you're not really a christian" line from others.
i was going to suggest that the next time that happens the op could say he was catholic - that would probably upset the guy more than if he actually was a muslim terrorist.
i'm catholic too, but fortunately i live in new orleans, which is predominantly (nominally) catholic.
btw, if you want to defend yourself against that sola fide catholics-aren't-christians nonsense, i can recommend a couple of books.
most people who say that catholics aren't christians know little to nothing about catholic doctrine.
:D:D
Agnus
2,719 Posts
I believe this is the first time I have ever defined my religious affiliation on this board. I fail to see how it is important. Yet interestingly enough is is very important.
The more I learn about particular beliefs the more I realize I do not know.