Half-way through NP program and my heart is not in it anymore, what should I do?

Specialties NP

Published

It's not that I don't love nursing. It's the fact that I have 2 toddlers and a young son at home whom I am currently home-schooling. I work part-time as a hospital RN and I'm taking MSN classes part-time as well. I'm about half-way through the program at this point. My thesis research is complete. I would like to drop out and start again later when my kids are older, when we are living in a better area where my kids can go to public school, BUT, I have invested a lot of time and money in this program. I have only 5 years of nursing experience now, which is another issue. I start clinicals next semester, up until this point I have been doing basic/theory classes, many of them online, which is great since I have small children. I am very nervous about spending more time away from them when I have to start my clinicals. I only get one chance to help them grow up and I don't want to be an absentee mother. What do you think? Should I keep pushing forward and finish my degree? Or quit and try again when the kids are older? I need perspective from some experienced NPs whom have btdt, please help me.

Specializes in ICU, ER, RESEARCH, REHAB, HOME HEALTH, QUALITY.

don't quit, you really have more time with the kids little, I agree the kids social life gets busy the older they get.. and you think you have no time now..

You can do it..Rooting for you!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Neuroscience ICU, Orthopedics.
I will completely echo this. I did wait until my daughter started school, but I will say without a doubt that kids miss you wayyyyy more when they are in school and life gets WAY WAY busier. IF you continue pushing down this route, your reward at the end will be a better paying job, NO weekends (unless you specifically choose this) and more flexibility.

Completely agree, as a father of three kids: 12, 11, and 9 year olds. The older they get, the more activities (school, sports, organizations, social gatherings) the parent(s) must juggle. At times, it's hard, and seemingly all consuming - there seems no time left for you. Now would be the time to get that degree. Hopefully you and your SO can strategize together, in supportive roles, to make it happen.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Don't ever let your kids get in the way of what you want! I remember calling home when away on a trip and my kids would say something like, "We're watching cartoons, Dad. See you later." They will survive your less than 100% attention!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in FNP.

ITA w/ Zenman. You have your life, your kids have theirs. It is very healthy to have one's own identity and dreams completely apart form motherhood. Put the kids in school and go back yourself (you can always take them out again later)! Best wishes...

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Actually to a large degree you ARE your childs life when they are young. I don't understand how your lives can be totally seperate. Nor should they be. Children aren't some obstacle standing in the way of what's important. Unfortunately many people don't find that out until they are retired and realize they have no real relationship with them. You can have it all just not at the same time. To the OP it appears that you have made your children a priority for quite some time and that is a good thing. Please don't let anyone make you feel that is a mistake. You cannot get those years back and your children won't care how much money you made when they are older. You have time to finish your education but the younger years with your children are finite and precious. I hope it all works out for you.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Hi there -- was interested to see in this thread another NP student who is homeschooling, like ME! I usually assume I'm about the only one I know in the world who would be doing this ....lol.

My own situation is what 2 of my kids are older (22 and 19) and i have chosen to extend my graduation by a year to homeschool my youngest who is 9 w/ high functioning autism. I very well could send him to a nice school but it ran us $25K last year and I just felt I could save about 50 thou just by keeping him home here w/ me for a couple of years. So I graduate one year later .. ..who cares! When I told the administrators about it, they commented that they preferred to have a practitioner who plans and strategizes their life in a methodical way .... which is what they want you to do to help patients ....anyway, I got no flack for extending.

I have raised 2 older kids so i know the feeling of wanting to be w/ them and feeling they will grow up so fast. On one hand, I agree with that, but on the other, I feel there IS time . .. . and i DO agree w/ everyone who says that older kids take even more time w/ activities, schooling and sports . . .to have that flexible part or full time NP job w/ regular hours, good money, and less physical stress would have been SO optimum for me -- I was actually starting out as an RN at that time and was exhausted . . . but I am working now to make sure I have it when the third one gets older.

I would ask you ...what exactly is your age? I'm here almost 50 just starting out as an NP whenever I do graduate ...and will have only about 5 years nursing experience ...i don't see it all as holding me back much yet either ...

So, if you ARE younger, I'd say stay out and raise your kids for a while ...you can always, always go back to get the NP when they are a bit older ...but you will be giving up time w/ them at any point in their childhood ... .

Let me tell you -- you want to be around and not worn out when they are teenagers . . . .they are getting ready for college, they are often struggling w/ various issues, and to have a busy non existent mom at this time is very hard and risky . . . i believe even moreso than when they are toddlers ...by far.

it's all hard .. .our lives are complicated as women these days .. . .we want to do best by our kids, but raising a family is getting so dang expensive that you just have to give up and give up .... we have to wear too many hats, IMO.

I have experienced the final persepctive also, and that is that eventually these kids grow up and move on to tehir own lives .. .you want to have YOUR own life as well .... a nice career, etc . ...and not be pining about them when they fly the nest .. .that makes for some miserable women as well. I am definitely NOT one of those women, as I am still raising a third and also striving towards advancement in my career .. .i thank my lucky stars all the time ...

Homeschooling IS awesome and usually churns out awesome kids ...but how about a small private school which might offer a more advanced level of instruction...couldn't hurt for a year or two while you get your clincals done .. .then perhaps you can find a flexible NP position and return to homeschooling. That's sort of how I plan to do .... OR, put him in the good private school of my choice that i will be able to afford one day.

Good luck and know your'e not the only one!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Just wanted to add, as my last post was a little confusing .. .I lean towards you finishing your school while the kids are younger (as long as you have good support) as they need you more when they are older .... I just dont' feel taking 3-4 years out of their upbringing is all that bad ... now being out 3-4 years while they are in high school?? Not good .... but during the younger years ...i feel it's really ok. But I am an older mom and just see it from that perspective . ..

I personally, though, WILL not attempt to homeschool OR work during clinicals ...I plan to give it my all for that year to really prepare . . . and my husband and I have been planning it and preparing for it ...I hope it works out ... it will not kill my son to be back in school for a year or two ...he'll be hitting 5th, 6th grades.

I have just given up on "guilt" as a mom. These kids really make it just fine ...you are not divorcing, or running around doing something illegal or bad ...you're just trying to advance your education to make a better life for them ... parents who are depressed and unfulfilled are also "absent" in a way from their kids ...I'd rather be a happy mom w/ a happy marriage also, as I have found this is what makes kids happiest as well ...

I believe you can just muddle through and do it all at once, but just in little spurts ...work a little, take a class, do homeschooling but don't be entirely gung ho ....find a simple curriculum as we have and just muddle through ...you'll get there.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment