Guys: How do you handle the female aggressiveness/possessiveness

Nurses Men

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I am currently 24 y.o. in an RN ADN program. Thing is, I'm in a clinical group with all women....which ain't bad but, some of these women do not get along and i'm the neutral guy who they all seem to gravitate towards. Some of these women get upset if I have conversations with other students or employees at the hospital. Better yet some employees(female) nurse aides, other medical staff are overly friendly and go out of their way to speak or get my attention. I'm constantly being asked how many children? When do you graduate? How old are you? Where do you live? They dont even ask my name lol. Its not unwanted attention, i just don't know how to handle it correctly. I look more and act maturer than my age and the older women(30 and over) seem to be very upfront when they seem to have an interest, I get the motherly/aunt vibe and it feels weird cause i can sense the sexual thoughts they may be thinking and one nurse pinched my ass...I just laughed and was about to say something to her sexual, but i had to remember where i was. If I go to the cafeteria with a different female classmate, i get looks as if i'm some sort of womanizer. Then the killer part is I have to hear these women ridicule one another as soon as one leaves the room, which i find hilarious. I could imagine what they say when i leave the room, but it doesn't bother me. I also realized that married woman love to flirt in the workplace, which is fine because I'm married. Bottom line is, i feel like I'm the females work-boyfriend, beauty consultant, gift, advicer, ego-stroker/deflater and the list goes on. Guys how do i handle it?

Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

Pinching a male in the butt certainly does qualify as sexual harrassment (abuse is a strong word) and the administrators would be wise to take such a claim seriously.

But how many guys are going to report it? I've been blessed with a nice butt, conceited though that may sound it's true, and my butt has attracted attention and been touched and fondled a couple of times. Lots of comments too. I was talking about yoga once and my boss says "is that why you have a nice butt? Yoga?" This is my boss. I should have replyed "no, now tell me how you got such nice boobs?". I realize it's all in good fun, shake it a little bit and move on. One female coworker got a big handful recently and made me stop to think "I certainly could never get away with grabbing a female coworkers butt like that. I wouldn't dare, so why do I allow it?" I guess I have bigger fish to fry and choose my battles and this good fun doesn't bother me. It's too late now to play victum. Plus at age 47 it's becoming fewer and far between and is sure to stop soon. LOL

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yes I love the ladies, they're one reason i chose nursing, its just that butt pinching and sexual comments catch me off guard alot and thats when i sometimes forget where i'm at. Flirting can be disastrous, I work quietly and innocently and try not to ask too many questions to the nurses cause they often "look" busy. Married / separated/ goin through a divorce. I love the hospital and would love to work there once i graduate because i like meeting new and lots of folks. I got married young and now i'm 24 and want to take things easy, I try to be a gentlemen with the ladies but some women confuse it as me flirting when its just me being polite. I'm bringing sexyback to nursing, I'll play there game and take score, i'll keep you guys updated lol.

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Specializes in Trauma Administration/Level I Trauma.

I have YET to work at a hospital that I have NOT gotten slapped, pinched, etc by a female nurse/staff member.....I have yet to complain. :D And the conversations that occur at 2am by some of these R.N.'s....:lol2: It's all in good fun, and I have a open mind and a sense of humor which I think is a MUST in this profession.

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the conversations that these females have during down time are some of the most jaw dropping, head turning and feather ruffling. I dind't think women had it in them to say some of that. Then they forget you're even in the room, until you start to defend the men they're yappin bout. Mostly I'm just blushing from all the comments/compliments and am forced to sugarcoat everything i say, so i just say thanks.

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Sorry, I meant "harassment." ;)

Being only 20, I am not experienced with butt pinching in professional settings. Lol

Why do you think these women fail to be concerned about the fact that it might bother you? Do they pinch other guys butts? How about other ladies' butts?

What kind of relationship do you have with those who pinch your butt; close friends, random coworkers, potential mates? Do they know whether or not you are in a relationship with a significant other?

I wonder what their actions signify. Maybe they are attracted to you, maybe they do it to bug you, maybe it is a complement, etc.

I just want to know why they assume that this is appropriate, assume that you wouldn't mind, assume that you would or would not take it as a come-on, assume that you would consider it just "good fun".

I understand that it doesn't bother you, but I just wonder why they feel that it is appropriate. (Personally I wouldn't fight it either lol)

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no they don't pinch other guys butts, not many of us there, no i dont know these women from anywhere and they dont know i'm married, and doubt if they care. I havent been pinched in 2 weeks, if it happens again then fine maybe i'd take her to dinner. hey guys what do you do when your patients girlfriend undresses you with with her eyes and smiles and winks when you're tryin your best to deliver patient care

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.
.hey guys what do you do when your patients girlfriend undresses you with with her eyes and smiles and winks when you're tryin your best to deliver patient care

It must be awful being so hot that everyone wants you, you poor thing. Enjoy it, because it won't last forever. :lol2: You look the other way, feign ignorance, and concentrate on the patient, sending the chilly message "don't even go there" and completely totally ignore it. Be a professional.

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i'm not hot, and don't think everyone wants me, just as many women find me disgusting. its hard to being moral....tweet

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i'm not hot, and don't think everyone wants me, just as many women find me disgusting. its hard to being moral....tweet

If you want to be on your best behavior, just imagine your wife's watching what you say/do. :trout:

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.
i'm not hot, and don't think everyone wants me, just as many women find me disgusting. its hard to being moral....tweet

I was just playing with you.

Being moral is not hard.

I don't want to sound like an elder statesment, but you are young and it's about 24-25 that most people grow up into their own. We define our own values apart from our parents, but it's not until that age that we stop and think "you know mom and dad were right about a lot of things" and you discard the rest. So as you take a look at what you value in life, what your morals are, you'll find that it's very easy to live them.

Of course the member causes many a man's morals to be thrown out the window in an instant (think Bill Clinton, think Pee Wee Herman, think televangelists). But the reality is that we male nurses can hold onto our morals and dignity with ease regardless of the situations we find ourselves in.

End of lecture. Gawd I sound old. :lol2:

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Working With Women Is A Double Edged Sword. Damned If You Do And Damned If You Don't. Like Johnny Cash You "walk The Line"

As A Married Man Among All The Women I Felt A Certain Empowerment. I Wore My Ring And Spoke Often Of My Wife.

I Say Flirt, Joke And Make Friends. You'll Need The Support And Cooperation To Get The Job Done And The More On Your Side The Better. Most Will Feel Closer To You Because You Act Like A Man And Behave Like A Professional. The Flirting, Like The Jokes And Laughter Are Just Another Way To Bear Up Under The Sadness, Death And Misery We See Every Day.

Enjoy The Female Camraderie , Few Men Have The Chance That We Do To Have Close, True, Female Friends On A Platonic Level.

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Specializes in Neuro, Cardiology, ICU, Med/Surg.

Interesting conversation. I wear my ring and talk about my wife all the time, and most of the nurses have met my wife and commented on how lovely she is, so maybe that's why I don't get the grope treatment.

However, I was once helping to move an elderly woman with dementia from her chair to her bed who grabbed my butt and held on in the process. :stone

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