Grammy awards given in triage!

shugrr22107NA · Jul 21, 2009

Drama Queens who are walkie-talkies, feeding themselves and toileting until that family member arrives, when they become incapable of uttering a sound and the well-meaning family 'translates' all kinds of immediate needs....

"Mom needs pain meds, and someone to feed her, and can I have 4 more pillows, where is the recliner I had here yesterday? She needs me right here"

Before the flames begin, I of course honor all these requests and do the best I can to make it happen, and practice the 'if you can't say something nice, don't say anything' rule....

But this thread IS meant for this kind of thing.

Thanks for letting me share :)

Guest219794 · Jul 21, 2009

Hey-

I am at a point that I appreciate anybody who even bothers to go through the trouble of acting sick or hurt.

PAERRN20 · Jul 21, 2009

Best special sound effects goes to the patient clutching Coke in one hand and chips in the other all while making the most dramatic vomiting sounds! Congratulations....please make your way to the psych room!!

nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN · Jul 21, 2009

Oscar to the "chronic pancreatitis" patient who complains of frequent abd. pain, nausea, and vomiting, states she hasn't been able to keep any food or water down in the week since her last admission --- but has gained 4 pounds since last morning she was here to her admission weight....

Apparently methadone and coke cause unexplainable weight gain, since of course we have to believe her when she says she's been so sick -- her normal BUN/creat must be a lab error, since she must be severely dehydrated after throwing up and not eating for a week...

mauxtav8r · Jul 21, 2009

Golden Globe to non-specific abdominal pain and nausea (without evidence of emesis) while co-habitating with your 3 kids' baby-daddy whilst having adopted a fourth nephew a month ago. Thinkin' she's needing a day at the spa, not a day in the hospital.

Supporting cast awards to baby-daddy, sister-in-law momma to nephew, mother-in-law whose poor overworked son (baby-daddy) can do no wrong.

CrufflerJJ, BSN, RN, EMT-P · Jul 21, 2009

I always liked evaluating drug seekers.

"I'm allergic to aspirin, Tylenol, Toradol, and [every other non-opiate under the sun].....I was traveling out of state once and had this TERRIBLE migraine. The people in the ER there gave me something called..ummm...M......S....Yeah! MS - that's it! Could you give some of that?"

Toquay · Jul 21, 2009

The intractable nausea and vomiting that is observed putting their finger down their throat to make themselves heave.

The hyperventilating anxiety attack put in a stretcher complaining they are going to passout and being told to "Go ahead".

I personally like the fake seizures that need to sign papers for registration and the seizing stops long enough to sign their name and then resumes.

Toq

It's all job security and if you don't laugh once in a while the absurdity will kill you.

UM Review RN, ASN, RN · Jul 21, 2009

The patient who c/o bloody diarrhea stool x5 days with a normal H&H and who "forgets" and flushes before any blood or stool can be verified.

Oh, and of course, this all goes with intense abdominal pain, for which the only drugs that work are phenergan and demerol. IV push.

Fast.

JustMe · Jul 21, 2009

Award for most stupid: Came to ER with a whopping big bellyache. Um, when was your last BM? Oh, 9 days ago?! MD orders oil retention enema and HHH enemas til clear.

Talk about Code Brown! :uhoh21:

gentle_ben_RN, ASN · Jul 22, 2009

Golden Globe to non-specific abdominal pain and nausea (without evidence of emesis) while co-habitating with your 3 kids' baby-daddy whilst having adopted a fourth nephew a month ago. Thinkin' she's needing a day at the spa, not a day in the hospital.
Supporting cast awards to baby-daddy, sister-in-law momma to nephew, mother-in-law whose poor overworked son (baby-daddy) can do no wrong.[/quote
:rotfl: ROFL!!!! You nailed it right on the head with that one!!! OMG!!!!!