Good triage stories

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sharpeimom

Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,. Has 20 years experience. 2,452 Posts

okay, this happened recently and i had to share. we have our share of frequent flyers of the same type: gold card, come for every little thing (it's not like they have to work or anything), total abuse of ems. well i recently triaged the 8 year old daughter/granddaughter of two of our ffs for a c/o "rash x 2 weeks" that had been evaluated in our dept the week prior- and yes, this person was brought in by ambulance. so i complete the triage and ask them to have a seat in the lobby and the girl says to me....

"but you never me asked my my pain scale."

silly triage nurse.

aaaarrrruuuggghhhh and aaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkk! :smackingf:smackingf:omy::omy::eek::eek:

sharpeimom:paw::paw:

jeremyRN

jeremyRN

Has 9 years experience. 18 Posts

Just a couple of days ago, I was asking a a patient about his allergies. He replied, "I am allergic to the wind." I kept a straight face and asked what kind of reaction he has. His response, "it gives me the chills".

ND76

ND76

74 Posts

I had a man sign in a few months ago with the dreaded "private" written in the chief complaint section.

I figured it was the usual penile discharge or rectal complaint that this CC usually elicits. However, much to my surprise, the man told me that his penis was shrinking. He had been measuring it almost daily for the last three months and had 'lost' several millimeters, according to him. He pulled out a little notepad where he had recorded the length each day.

It was all I could do to perform the rest of the triage, cause God knows I wanted to ask him so many things. Like what was the temperature in the room each day when he measured?

I just skimmed over the rest of the history, deferred the actual exam, and turned him over to our midlevel NP for evaluation!! :clown:

MikeyBSN

MikeyBSN

Specializes in ED. Has 7 years experience. 439 Posts

I had a young guy come into to triage the other day with his pretty little girlfriend left outside and I asked him what was going on. So he sits there with the standard hand in a C-cup over his lower mouth and chin and staring at the floor, saying "well, um." At this point, we all know that his penis dripping when it shouldn't be. So finally he spits it out and starts telling me about all of his alternative diagnosis he found on the internet. He's like "well it might be UTI", and I'm thinking, "Or it's gonorrhea." Then he starts telling me about how he read that maybe there was a problem with his blood passing into his semen and that was causing it. Or, of course, his gonorrhea was causing it.

shoegalRN

shoegalRN, RN

1,338 Posts

I am a new grad in a residency program doing my ER rotation. They had me in triage last week. This guy comes in saying that his "ankle vein" was hurting. I asked what caused him to come to that conclusion and he said because he'd be walking all day.

Another comes in and says that his "old lady" kicked him out, he just got out of jail, it was raining, and he feels like he has pneumonia, completed with fake cough and all. Of course, there was no temp and vital signs were stable.

A woman comes in saying she uses baby wipes to "wipe herself" and someone replaced them with Clorex wipes, now her a-hole is burning and she can't get it to stop.

I don't know how y'all ER nurses do triage and keep a straight face. After each one of those stories, I had to go outside the door and laugh until my stomach hurt!

whichone'spink

whichone'spink, BSN, RN

Has 3 years experience. 1,473 Posts

Just a couple of days ago, I was asking a a patient about his allergies. He replied, "I am allergic to the wind." I kept a straight face and asked what kind of reaction he has. His response, "it gives me the chills".

And it wasn't a joke either, was it?

KirbSRN

KirbSRN

4 Posts

I had a good one......my virginia hurts.....haha

sharpeimom

Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,. Has 20 years experience. 2,452 Posts

i had a good one......my virginia hurts.....haha

iowa onder why? ...

kathy

shar pei mom:paw::paw:

Tonjia

Tonjia

Specializes in Trauma/ED, SANE/FNE, LNC. Has 16 years experience. 45 Posts

I have had several funny mispronunciations of problems:

Had a lady c/o "viral mango encephalitis" and a man with "suggestive heart failure"

and one day had a guy come with with sudden onset of blurred vision in his left eye. It was obvious from the beginning... the left lens of his glasses had fallen out:uhoh3:

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