how to get out of a speeding ticket

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A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.

Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too

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Specializes in ICU, PICC Nurse, Nursing Supervisor.

This is good ....hahhahahahaha:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

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Specializes in ICU, CM, Geriatrics, Management.

Guess you folks missed it the first time around.

Was posted here recently.

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Well I'm new here so thanks for sharing the chuckle.

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Well I'm new here so thanks for sharing the chuckle.
How about a true life story on beating a speeding ticket.

I admit I was speeding at the time this occurred:rolleyes:

I was speeding on the freeway, when I looked in the rear view mirror and see a highway patrolman "clocking" me. I knew I was going to get a ticket, so I pulled off to the side of the freeway. The officer gets out of his car and starts asking me questions-Do you have any warrents, is your car currently registered, etc.,

I looked at him and told him that I knew he hadn't ran my license plate before getting out of his car. He became pretty embarrassed and admitted he hadn't. He asked how I knew. I told him that I used to work for a local Police Dept, and hadn't seen him using the patrol unit's radio, before stopping me. I told him that I also knew because of the type of questions he was asking me.

Anyway, I gave him my license and registration and reassured him that I didn't have any warrents, etc.

The Officer went back to his car, ran my driver's license, and came back to my car. He then mentioned that he was going to write me a ticket, because I wasn't wearing a seatbelt. I showed him that I was, in fact, wearing a seatbelt. Because I am very short, the shouder strap sometimes becomes very loose and will fall off my shoulder, although the lap strap will stay in place.

The officer had this funny look on his face and told me, "You're not going to let me write you a ticket for anything aren't you. I told him no. The officer started laughing, told to me to "slow down", when I got back on the road and to have a great day:chuckle

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Specializes in Adult Med-Surg, Rehab, and Ambulatory Care.
Guess you folks missed it the first time around.

Was posted here recently.

Well...yes, I guess I did miss it the first time around. :rolleyes:

Good one. :rotfl:

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