Nurse Manager is a Bully

[TheCommuter]

On Tuesday, I received a call at home from my nurse manager (who barely accepted this position 3 weeks ago). She stated, "I found some things on your hall over the weekend, and I need you to come in this week so I can counsel you in the presence of the DON."

I was straightforward and asked her, "Are y'all planning to terminate my employment? This is the second or third call I have received since you took over a few weeks ago." She said that they weren't planning to fire me, but wanted to counsel me in the presence of the DON.

We agreed to meet Friday, but I telephoned her this morning and said, "I cannot meet tomorrow, so we'll have to reschedule for next week." She was imperative that I talk to her in person before the weekend arrived, but I made up excuses and refused to do so. She finally said, "I guess I'll counsel you over the phone, since the DON is standing next to me. You're on your last straw. On Monday morning we saw that you didn't do a dressing change, so I have the choice of either counseling you or terminating your employment. I choose to simply counsel you, because we'd like to keep you around. But you're on your last straw here, and I'll fire you for anything else."

I honestly did not see an order for a dressing change for this particular patient, but I digress. Here's my point: if this issue was so important and consequential to this nurse manager, she would have handled it on Monday. However, she just wanted the opportunity to accumulate brownie points in front of her DON at my expense, by attempting to meet conspicuously on a Friday morning.

Thanks for putting up with my rant. This is a thankless job. If I am fired, I'll just bounce to another facility.

[morte, LPN, LVN]

i have to second Daytonites advice, actully third it i guess,lol....from painful, personal experience....mac and cheese and cold showers are going to look good instead of explaining getting fired....

[CseMgr1, ASN, RN]

you were subjected to an intimidation tactic. this nurse manager and don want you gone. counseling someone for missing a dressing change is not something that requires urgent counseling. however, the fact that she needed to do it in front of the don is what piqued my attention. i think a really important point got overlooked here. i've been a manager at a number of jobs. the fact that the don was supposedly standing at the side of this nurse manager while she was saying these things to you in the same wording you have written in your post also says that the don is probably supportive of what was done here or she would have stopped her from talking to you the way she was doing. you were spoken to in a very unprofessional way. that is the way uneducated people talk to uneducated employees! i would have been insulted if i had been spoken to in those words. i think your problem is that you not only have a bully for a nurse manager, but a don who is supportive of her. my advice is to start looking for a new job tomorrow.

these two are starting the documentation process to fire you. this incident was only the first thing. the next time they find something that you missed doing, they will document it and fire you. trust me, i know this little game they are playing. by collecting documentation of any wrongdoing that you do, the facility avoids paying the state any unemployment money in case they fire you, you file for unemployment benefits and the state can find that you were fired without the facility following their own rules of disciplinary action. getting fired over failing to perform one dressing change is not sufficient grounds to fire a licensed nurse without proper documentation showing attempts were made to discipline and rehabilitate the person. they must have fired someone in the past who filed a labor board complaint against them and won for which the facility paid dearly (i'm talking about in $$$$) or they wouldn't be putting so much effort into their particular brand of disciplining you which is a pretty pathetic, by the way. schools of management don't teach people to talk to employees in this way. these are the kind of people that nut jobs go postal on. these kind of managers have not had much formal training in management and leadership.

time to saddle up and move on. you really don't want a forced termination on your employment record. it makes it difficult to find another job and explain why you were fired. the only type of managers who will hire people who they know have been fired from other jobs due to being bullied are those who are inexperienced at reading between the lines in listening to applicants tales of woe at their previous jobs during interviews or bosses who are problem bosses themselves. the last thing you want is to walk into another problem situation. if you are going to end up leaving, leave under your own power and control, not theirs. these two, the nurse manager and the don, sound like they might be really poor examples of leadership--something that is, unfortunately, far too common in nursing homes. like attracts like and i wouldn't expect things in the facility to get better. sadly, this new nurse manager is probably going to end up being a victim of the don herself somewhere down the road. don't exacerbate your situation by thinking that you can best them. they hold the reins of power in this particular situation. please, save yourself while you have the chance.

well said. i'm currently going through a similar situation only five months into my current job. today was the last straw, and i came home and fired off resumes to two potential employers, sick of being set up for failure. :angryfire

[vamedic4, EMT-P]

Hey Commuter...I'm so very sorry this happened to you. I agree with others who say to RUN...the market here in DFW is great for LVNs, and I'm sure you could find gainful employment elsewhere and NOT have to work with people who do such a disservice to nursing and healthcare in general. Funny how s&%t floats to the top.

Good luck.

vamedic4;)

You know it's gonna be 35 degrees on Saturday right?? UGH.

[linzz]

I am with regulating and loving it. We need to find a way to stand up and fight this nonsense that makes it impossible to just simply do our jobs. I am sure that we are all very tired of the same old nonsense.:angryfire

[sayitgirl]

On Tuesday, I received a call at home from my nurse manager (who barely accepted this position 3 weeks ago). She stated, "I found some things on your hall over the weekend, and I need you to come in this week so I can counsel you in the presence of the DON."

I was straightforward and asked her, "Are y'all planning to terminate my employment? This is the second or third call I have received since you took over a few weeks ago." She said that they weren't planning to fire me, but wanted to counsel me in the presence of the DON.

We agreed to meet Friday, but I telephoned her this morning and said, "I cannot meet tomorrow, so we'll have to reschedule for next week." She was imperative that I talk to her in person before the weekend arrived, but I made up excuses and refused to do so. She finally said, "I guess I'll counsel you over the phone, since the DON is standing next to me. You're on your last straw. On Monday morning we saw that you didn't do a dressing change, so I have the choice of either counseling you or terminating your employment. I choose to simply counsel you, because we'd like to keep you around. But you're on your last straw here, and I'll fire you for anything else."

I honestly did not see an order for a dressing change for this particular patient, but I digress. Here's my point: if this issue was so important and consequential to this nurse manager, she would have handled it on Monday. However, she just wanted the opportunity to accumulate brownie points in front of her DON at my expense, by attempting to meet conspicuously on a Friday morning.

Thanks for putting up with my rant. This is a thankless job. If I am fired, I'll just bounce to another facility.

Why not just meet with the manager and DON and discuss the issue?

"I honestly did not see an order for a dressing change for this particular patient, "

You have a valid point. If you leave you will not resolve the issue mentally, always remember out of every negative incident, something positive does happen.

[bethin]

I didn't whine or complain about the staffing issues. However, I mentioned that it is difficult when 4 CNAs (aides) on my unit have to shower, feed, dress, and toilet 80 patients. When the unit is fully staffed, we have 6 aides helping us. When we are understaffed with aides, I am stressed because I have to toilet patients and help with feedings in addition to med pass, treatments, wound care, ostomies, tube feedings, etc.

:eek: :eek: If I do my math correctly, that's 20 residents to an aide. I don't see how all these residents get fed in a reasonable amt of time.

I've read alot of your posts and you sound like a great, thorough, caring nurse. You made a mistake, but guess what? Everyone does. Nursing is a 24/7 job. If it isn't done on your shift then it falls to next shift. They may not like it, but as long as you are not routinely leaving work for them I don't see how it's a problem for them to do a dressing change.

Do you alone have to pass meds, do dressing changes, etc on these 80 residents? If it's that busy the DON needs to get her butt on the floor and help with some of these dressing changes, tx, etc. She is a nurse afterall and just because she sits behind a desk doesn't mean she suddenly forgot how to apply some gauze and tape to a wound.

[bethin]

I forgot to mention a very important fact. This particular nurse manager used to work at my facility one year ago while pregnant, but was escorted to the parking lot by this same DON in April 2006 and told to not return. Back then, she was the facility staff developer. Therefore, she was actually a victim of this DON in the recent past. The company called her back to work a few weeks ago because none of the current floor nurses wanted or accepted the nurse manager position.

Red flag. She's scoring brownie points and trying to look important to the DON that escorted her off.

Get out while you can.

[sayitgirl]

I forgot to mention a very important fact. This particular nurse manager used to work at my facility one year ago while pregnant, but was escorted to the parking lot by this same DON in April 2006 and told to not return. Back then, she was the facility staff developer. Therefore, she was actually a victim of this DON in the recent past. The company called her back to work a few weeks ago because none of the current floor nurses wanted or accepted the nurse manager position.

There's probably a lot of things you are leaving out about your story, I would just leave. They are digging a hole for you to fall in. Some nurses are vindictive enough to report things to the nursing board, get out while you can, some things you can not change.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

Do you alone have to pass meds, do dressing changes, etc on these 80 residents?

No, the 80 residents on this particular long term care unit are split between 4 nurses.