Nurse Manager is a Bully

[TheCommuter]

On Tuesday, I received a call at home from my nurse manager (who barely accepted this position 3 weeks ago). She stated, "I found some things on your hall over the weekend, and I need you to come in this week so I can counsel you in the presence of the DON."

I was straightforward and asked her, "Are y'all planning to terminate my employment? This is the second or third call I have received since you took over a few weeks ago." She said that they weren't planning to fire me, but wanted to counsel me in the presence of the DON.

We agreed to meet Friday, but I telephoned her this morning and said, "I cannot meet tomorrow, so we'll have to reschedule for next week." She was imperative that I talk to her in person before the weekend arrived, but I made up excuses and refused to do so. She finally said, "I guess I'll counsel you over the phone, since the DON is standing next to me. You're on your last straw. On Monday morning we saw that you didn't do a dressing change, so I have the choice of either counseling you or terminating your employment. I choose to simply counsel you, because we'd like to keep you around. But you're on your last straw here, and I'll fire you for anything else."

I honestly did not see an order for a dressing change for this particular patient, but I digress. Here's my point: if this issue was so important and consequential to this nurse manager, she would have handled it on Monday. However, she just wanted the opportunity to accumulate brownie points in front of her DON at my expense, by attempting to meet conspicuously on a Friday morning.

Thanks for putting up with my rant. This is a thankless job. If I am fired, I'll just bounce to another facility.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

You must have been with this job awhile, have a decent work ethic, noted some issues in the past, and the PTB wanted to make an example of you.

I have been with this job awhile. I mentioned the facility's staffing problems with regards to retaining employees recently while at a workplace inservice, and thereafter the nurse manager began to target me. Perhaps I should have kept my big mouth shut. :uhoh21:

I didn't whine or complain about the staffing issues. However, I mentioned that it is difficult when 4 CNAs (aides) on my unit have to shower, feed, dress, and toilet 80 patients. When the unit is fully staffed, we have 6 aides helping us. When we are understaffed with aides, I am stressed because I have to toilet patients and help with feedings in addition to med pass, treatments, wound care, ostomies, tube feedings, etc.

[TrudyRN]

I got in a little late the other day - spouse wasn't back with the Conostoga. For 27 years, I have almost never called off or been late, I have worked the OT that most others turn down, I never c/o when other nurses "forget" to do things, I just do them. Any time someone dies or gives birth or gets married (divorced, whatever, LOL), I contribute pretty darned generously, I work whatever shift or holiday they need, I accommodate my peers with trades, I orient new people, train students, etc. I do take my breaks and I refuse to let my bladder burst, so I guess I'm not perfect. (gag me, baby)

Anyway, they don't want to let me use the hundres of hours I have on the books to cover the late arrival the other day, saying I didn't give enough notice. :uhoh21: :uhoh21: :uhoh21: If I'd been able to give enough notice, I'd not have been late. Duh! I'm sorry but sometimes life happens. Tires, batteries, sitters, alarm clocks - all fail sometimes. I called and said I'd be in ASAP and the person I was relieving was not late getting out, as my shift peer relieved me. So what is the BDD? The manager who is hassling me is young and new and I plan to teach her that she can't mess with moi.

And they wonder why they can't keep staff.

I have made up my mind. If my appeal to the boss is unsuccessful, I will go to HR, do a formal c/o, etc. If denied, I will start to use up my sick time, etc. and get outta Dodge. I'm through with their BS.

Anyway, if you genuinely did not see the order, that was a human error. Admit it. Not sure what the Friday drama thing is about or what your whole story is with this job but hope you figure out how to get them off of your back or just get gone. I wish you well.

[TrudyRN]

I have been with this job awhile. I mentioned the facility's staffing problems with regards to retaining employees recently while at a workplace inservice, and thereafter the nurse manager began to target me. Perhaps I should have kept my big mouth shut. :uhoh21:

I didn't whine or complain about the staffing issues. However, I mentioned that it is difficult when 4 CNAs (aides) on my unit have to shower, feed, dress, and toilet 80 patients. When the unit is fully staffed, we have 6 aides helping us. When we are understaffed with aides, I am stressed because I have to toilet patients and help with feedings in addition to med pass, treatments, wound care, ostomies, tube feedings, etc.

Suggestion: Just do your work - the licensed nurse's work. The aides and patients will have to get by with whatever number of aides the facility provides. The shortage is not your doing and you should stop trying to make up for it. Maybe that sounds hard but why should you do the work of 2 people? Even if they paid you for it, it's too hard. The patients will just have to wait a little longer. Sad.

[TrudyRN]

I have been with this job awhile. I mentioned the facility's staffing problems with regards to retaining employees recently while at a workplace inservice, and thereafter the nurse manager began to target me. Perhaps I should have kept my big mouth shut. :uhoh21:

There's the answer. Paranoia, megalomania, embarrassed that you see that the emperor has no clothes, scared.

She can't handle the truth. Didn't Jack Nicholson say that?

[linzz]

I hope that this nitwit enjoys working lots of extra hours after she scares off even more staff members. Even when I see someone else getting picked on, it sure leaves me feeling vulnerable too. Best wishes.

[Sheri257]

It is amazing. Their need to pull a power trip overrides everything else ... including keeping staff.

I would get out of there as fast as I can. Just my experience but, it doesn't get any better. And personally, it would drive me crazy.

:typing

[banditrn]

Our DON is kind of a bully - she's famous for changing peoples schedules around, adding days, hours, etc. and not calling them to ask if it's OK - just leaves a note on the bulletin board.

The girls b#tch, moan, groan, and complain about it - but they PUT UP WITH IT. She tried it with me once - I called her and told her 'nope' not doing that. And she hasn't tried it on ME since. I've told them over and over that they're telling the wrong person - SHE'S the one that they need to complain to, not me.

Everyone makes mistakes - I'd have a talk with your DON about this whole thing.

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

Wow, six people for 80 residents when fully staffed? On days?

Wowza.

Commuter, I've been enjoying your posts since I've been on this site, and I know that you are a fine, caring nurse. Get gone.

[Daytonite, BSN, RN]

she finally said, "i guess i'll counsel you over the phone, since the don is standing next to me. you're on your last straw. on monday morning we saw that you didn't do a dressing change, so i have the choice of either counseling you or terminating your employment. i choose to simply counsel you, because we'd like to keep you around. but you're on your last straw here, and i'll fire you for anything else."

if i am fired, i'll just bounce to another facility.

you were subjected to an intimidation tactic. this nurse manager and don want you gone. counseling someone for missing a dressing change is not something that requires urgent counseling. however, the fact that she needed to do it in front of the don is what piqued my attention. i think a really important point got overlooked here. i've been a manager at a number of jobs. the fact that the don was supposedly standing at the side of this nurse manager while she was saying these things to you in the same wording you have written in your post also says that the don is probably supportive of what was done here or she would have stopped her from talking to you the way she was doing. you were spoken to in a very unprofessional way. that is the way uneducated people talk to uneducated employees! i would have been insulted if i had been spoken to in those words. i think your problem is that you not only have a bully for a nurse manager, but a don who is supportive of her. my advice is to start looking for a new job tomorrow.

these two are starting the documentation process to fire you. this incident was only the first thing. the next time they find something that you missed doing, they will document it and fire you. trust me, i know this little game they are playing. by collecting documentation of any wrongdoing that you do, the facility avoids paying the state any unemployment money in case they fire you, you file for unemployment benefits and the state can find that you were fired without the facility following their own rules of disciplinary action. getting fired over failing to perform one dressing change is not sufficient grounds to fire a licensed nurse without proper documentation showing attempts were made to discipline and rehabilitate the person. they must have fired someone in the past who filed a labor board complaint against them and won for which the facility paid dearly (i'm talking about in $$$$) or they wouldn't be putting so much effort into their particular brand of disciplining you which is a pretty pathetic, by the way. schools of management don't teach people to talk to employees in this way. these are the kind of people that nut jobs go postal on. these kind of managers have not had much formal training in management and leadership.

time to saddle up and move on. you really don't want a forced termination on your employment record. it makes it difficult to find another job and explain why you were fired. the only type of managers who will hire people who they know have been fired from other jobs due to being bullied are those who are inexperienced at reading between the lines in listening to applicants tales of woe at their previous jobs during interviews or bosses who are problem bosses themselves. the last thing you want is to walk into another problem situation. if you are going to end up leaving, leave under your own power and control, not theirs. these two, the nurse manager and the don, sound like they might be really poor examples of leadership--something that is, unfortunately, far too common in nursing homes. like attracts like and i wouldn't expect things in the facility to get better. sadly, this new nurse manager is probably going to end up being a victim of the don herself somewhere down the road. don't exacerbate your situation by thinking that you can best them. they hold the reins of power in this particular situation. please, save yourself while you have the chance.

[banditrn]

Daytonite - very sound advice!

Sometimes I really, really wonder about what goes on in the heads of some managers and DON's. We had a situation recently of an LPN that a couple of us had a strong suspician was giving residents meds that weren't ordered.

While talking about the practice of doing this, the LPN that works with me told me that she will occasionally give MOM without an order. I told her she was nuts to be doing stuff like that, and she'd better stop it now. If a resident needs ANY meds, that's the doctor's decision, that's what doctors are for.

This gal that was giving these meds was treated like some kind of prima donna - until management finally caught on to what she'd been doing - she'd been dosing an A&O old guy with benedryl for itching - and it wasn't ordered.

[regulating and lovin]

As a Nurse with almost 30 yrs experience that started as a CNT, then LPN and now RN for the past 15 years..I say RUN FORREST RUN! This person is very obviously a new supervisor who doesn't know whether to take a set of vitals or wind her watch. She should have very discreetly took you to the side and said "hey, I just noticed this dressing wasn't changed. No big deal, just be careful and look at the treatment records closely.." No one else should have been brought into this situation. The only time she should have brought the DON to the table is if this was a reoccurring problem for you. Give your notice, watch your back and shake their dust from shoes. This facility is not worth your time. Until all nurses stand together, this is the crap that will be allowed to happen.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

Sadly, this new nurse manager is probably going to end up being a victim of the DON herself somewhere down the road.

I forgot to mention a very important fact. This particular nurse manager used to work at my facility one year ago while pregnant, but was escorted to the parking lot by this same DON in April 2006 and told to not return. Back then, she was the facility staff developer. Therefore, she was actually a victim of this DON in the recent past. The company called her back to work a few weeks ago because none of the current floor nurses wanted or accepted the nurse manager position.