Pissed Off!!! - page 2
:( Ok, well im 18 years old and along with 3 other girls in my class, we are the youngest. The four of us sit together with another student and she is in her 30's. Well....first off, this woman has... Read More
Oct 3, '02Occupation: Nurse Joined: Oct '01; Posts: 12,715; Likes: 2Believe me I have seen all walks of life in my program. I would just avoid as much as you possibly can the people who bother you. I make it a policy to never be rude to anyone, I think actions speak louder than words sometimes.
I hear inappropriate things everyday coming from soon to be professional nurses and I shake my head when I leave the building. That is if they show up to class or clinicals.
Oct 3, '02Occupation: RN Joined: Jan '02; Posts: 1,732; Likes: 1Please remember to debate the topic, not the poster.
Oct 3, '02Occupation: New RN Grad... Just passed NCLEX.. Working on a Ortho floor Joined: Nov '01; Posts: 1,616; Likes: 37I seriously doubt this lady is TRYING to offend you.. She is more than likely just trying to fit in.... We have a couple of young students in our class and we pick with them all the time... They just laugh and think its funny, they don't get all immature about something that is actually NOTHING.... If she offended you by asking about the sex, then you should have been a big enough person to say something then, not wait until she is around a bunch of people and then try to make yourself look cute..
I am only 26 and some of the older people in my class my press my nerves just because they aren't as "fresh" on everything as we are, but I don't make a big deal out of it.. I personally think it takes alot for someone to come back to school after all that time being away...
Good Luck in your career...Last edit by nurs2b on Oct 3, '02
Oct 3, '02Occupation: Nurse Joined: Oct '01; Posts: 12,715; Likes: 2She may even be emotionally immature for her age (this woman that you are referring to).
I've seen older students take younger students under their wings so to speak if they are having trouble with a skill or concept.
Oct 4, '02Occupation: Haemetology nurse Specialty: Oncology/Haemetology/HIV ; From: US ; Joined: May '02; Posts: 7,040; Likes: 7,482Yes, the older woman's guestion about sex was rude.
Your response was also rude.
Two wrongs do not make a right.
In nursing school as in life unfortunately there tend to be cliques - frequently along age lines, working vs non-working, married v non-married. But please remember, that when you leave school and get into the Nursing world, people's lives and behaviors will change. And the person that you are rude to today (even justifiably) will remember that tomorrow, or whenever you must need their assistance and/understanding. Face difficult fellow students as you would difficult supervisors, patients, family members, coworkers.
For as time heals all wounds ---- it also wounds all heels.
Oct 4, '02Joined: Sep '02; Posts: 18Time will also make us all "OLD". Since when, Melisita, did old turn into something to be ashamed of? My sister, dead at 24 would love to have been able to grow old.
If you respond to this woman as you have in each encounter how will you respond with some of the incidents you will encounter with patients and doctors and other healthcare workers in the future? Believe me, this woman's percieved inappropriate behavior is NOTHING to what you are about to encounter in your nursing career. Remember, you can not control anyone's behavior and reaction but your own. Telling people off is definately not going to help you in your nursing career.Last edit by Patsfan on Oct 4, '02
Oct 4, '02Occupation: LTC Joined: Mar '01; Posts: 3,254; Likes: 53...Ahhh the wonderful attitudes of todays teens... The wise old owl speaks.........Welcome to the real world kids! You're in for a rude awakening which I see you've gotten a mere glimpse of...It's no longer all about me, me, me! I feel like maybe it's time to like grow up...and soon...for like your own sake before you get eatten alive! You'll get chewed up and spit out all over the place...Have fun and don't go home crying to momma when you're fired from your first job b/c of your attitudes!
Oh and by the way, whether or not you have sex in your parents home...It's very disrespectful to say the least.Last edit by night owl on Oct 4, '02
Oct 4, '02Occupation: run a private group home Joined: Jul '02; Posts: 144Melisita,
I can certainly understand how you would have been offended by the woman asking you that question. After all, you don't know her. One suggestion I have is that if you can, catch the woman when you are both alone and talk to her. Let her know how her comment made you feel.
I can understand that you want to stand up for yourself. I'm not suggesting that you don't have that right. I just think that there are different approaches that you can use.
You are fortunate that you have friends your own age that you can sit with and talk to. I would imagine that this woman does not and is probably a bit intimidated by you and your friends. I would hope that you will have the opportunity to broaden your horizons and friendships while in school. They will always serve you well. Maybe if you can talk with this woman, and can do some work together you will both be able to relax and you might find that you both have more in common than you realize.
I am a non-traditional student myself, just doing my prerequisites right now. Let me tell you how hard and intimidating it is to see all these young teenagers in my classes. If I'm not invisible then when I ask a question I've actually seen some of them roll their eyes.
My personal policy is to try to be nice to everyone and find someone different in each of my classes everyday to talk to, even for just a minute. I can always find something positive about them and I try to make a point to let them know, give them an honest compliment. Slowly but surely I'm feeling a bit more comfortable and everyone in the class now has a name and a bit of personality to me. Hopefully they don't see just an older fat lady in their class anymore but maybe someone that is trying just like they are and someone that will help in anyway I can.
I realize that you were embarrassed and probably hurt a bit by the woman's attitude, you had a right to be. Chances are that was not the woman's intent. She, like you, just wants to be accepted and find her place with her peers. You can make a big difference in your attitude and in hers by your choice of actions.
I wish you the best!
Oct 4, '02Occupation: nursing student Joined: May '02; Posts: 94; Likes: 2I think some people here are responding the way they are because they can't imagine an "older" lady being intentionally rude for no reason to an 18 year old classmate. She should have more class than that. If she doesn't, then I'm just glad she's not in my classes.
In reality, what you said to her (re: her age) was just as rude as what she said to you...but no more so. Most people just tend to be more offended by being called "old" than by being called "young," especially if they already feel sensitive about their age...which it sounds like this lady does. Why else would she tease?
I feel that some people have attacked you here on this thread. Honestly, maybe they see you as a "whiny kid." Remember that we all read posts here and reflect them off our own feelings and past experiences. Though it may seem otherwise, it's nothing personal.
Did you laugh or look stunned when she asked you the first unbelievable question about your sex life? Had you guys been talking about this already? Was it possibly, in her eyes, a logical progression in the conversation? These are all things to think about.
Meanwhile, try what we were all taught as kids - turn the other cheek. Don't be rude to her. Just walk away. If that's not an option, then just raise your eyebrows when she says something offensive, buit give her no other reaction. She'll get the hint. If not, then she's the one with no empathy.
Oct 4, '02Occupation: run a private group home Joined: Jul '02; Posts: 144Melisita, I think that it's commendable that you posted your situation and question here. It says to me that you'd like to find a way to handle the situation better and that you'd like some insight. When people take the time to try to consider everyone's perspective and try to understand them in that context- everyone wins. Congrats to you for trying to acheive that goal.
Sometimes the best way to deal with someone is to "kill them with kindness". I've unintentionally made some great friends that way-believe me that wasn't what I started out to do :-)
Again, good luck with this.
Oct 4, '02Occupation: RN in Nursing Education; House Supervision; Editor RNdex Joined: Mar '02; Posts: 427; Likes: 9Welcome to the wonderful world of female *****iness. My apologies to the guys on the board, but nursing is still a woman's world and dang it we make sure we're as *****y as possible at times.
But, on a more serious note, the first thing that went through my mind was to wonder if the woman asked the question not because she was interested in your sex life, but because she has kids close to your age and was desperately trying to understand them.
Remember it's hard to go back to school once you've been away for more than a couple of years. It's like going to a new school raised to the 5th power. Not only do you not know anyone, but you also aren't sure you can do the work, that you'll fit in, that you'll be able to juggle your life and school, that it was the right decision. The self concept issues are immense.
From the perspective of being considerably older than either you or the "old woman" you're so irritated about, you'll get further in life being kind than taking pot shots at one another. Life is far too short to be cruel to people.
Oct 4, '02Occupation: Nursing Student! Joined: Oct '02; Posts: 16Well, i just wanted to thank everyone for the replies. On the other hand, i think maybe too many of you took my story very personally, and were offended by it. I was only trying to voice my feelings, and opinions. yes, i was offended by this woman, and yes i was defending myself. Perhaps i defended myself in an immature manner by lashing out back at her, and i see that now. But by no means, do i feel everything is all about ME, ME, ME...that would be quite ironic, being that im going to become a NURSE. Now i really see...i should get use to people not taking me serioulsy, and people having some inacurate preceptions of me because im quite young. I will try my hardest to prove myself in this world, because i can be just as good of a nurse as the next woman despite my age.
Oct 4, '02Occupation: Buyer now...RN Later! Joined: Jun '02; Posts: 28I agree with 2amigos, kill her with kindness. It has nothing to do with age as I have had people bite my head of that were older than me. Just make sure you keep your attitudes in check - as you will get farther by coming across "older" than you are! Been there, done that...some hard lessons learned but I am sure we have all been through it!
Good luck with the situation.