melted down in my Clinical Lab today... left crying

**canoehead, BSN, RN** · Sep 23, 2009

I had a similar problem with my BSN program. They want you to be able to make yourself part of a team, but it's certainly hard when everyone else knows each other. I don't have any easy solutions. You might ask one of the more approachable people if you could sit in on their lab practice because your partners have not shown up reliably. Then you'd get to watch them and ask questions, maybe find some friends that are in the program.

If you have someone you know that's ahead of you in the program, or even an RN friend in the community you could ask for special permission for them to help you practice. I also found mentally going through the procedure step by step alone was very helpful- almost better than labs because there were no distractions. But before you do that you have to be clear on what exactly the steps are.

PM me if you need a hand.

LeesG · Sep 23, 2009

Im a new ADN student also, about your age, and I was lucky enough to find 3 people, out of the 70 in the class, that I knew from A&P...thats it, I know nobody else, so I understand. We also do alot of self teaching and I'm struggling as well, but back to you.

If you scanned the room of 70 people is everyone with someone else ? Do you see 1-2 people who are sitting alone, maybe with their heads down as well ? If so they may be feeling the same way you are, maybe you could approach them ( I know hard for an introvert) and see if they have a study group, they may not either.

I know in my class there are all ranges of people, young people who have a clique, people that have young children who fit togehter, the "older" crowd who's kids are grown and so on. I also see a few people who come to class, dont really talk to anyone, leave quielty, and then come back the next day and do it over again, never really connecting to anyone. There has to be a few like that in your class, look for them, try and gather some courage, and talk to them. They may blow you off, so be prepared, or they may be glad that another bookish introvert found them.

Dont feel bad for falling apart....it happens to the best of us...my first test is Monday, so Im sure Im due for a crack in my psyche soon !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good Luck

shann106 · Sep 23, 2009

I am one semester away from graduation.I am going to sound very snarky and I am sorry but truthfully this is nursing school. Nursing school sucks no matter what school. You have shown your weakness to your instructors now and they are going to use it against you, that is definate. They do that because patients can tell your weakness right away and they use it against you, so you have to learn to deal with it before you get into the actal clinical setting.

The hardest thing to get used to in nursing school is getting used to the way things work, it is not like any other class. And don't get trapped in the "but I am an A student" thing, most of the nursing students are A students, that is how they got in to nursing school. Your instructor is very right, it is only going to get harder, much much harder. And you can do great in lecture but if you cant put it into practice then how are you supposed to work with actual patients?

It is usually hard to find study groups in nursing school, especially if you are older (I am 37) because nursing school is a competition and most students see it that way, an older student is seen as goody goodys and younger students do not want to study with us. You are the competition.

In my program if I would have excused my self from a lab test out, that would be seen as quitting and I would not be allowed back no matter how many drs excuses I brought in. But we all do fall apart at some point, nursing school pushes you to your breaking point all the time.

Do not give up if nursing is really what you want to do. But nursing school is going to be the hardest years of your life, there is no way to survive it if it is not what you truly want. The instrctors seem to have a sixth sense and can tell who is really in it for the right reasons and they push those people so that they can become the best of the best. So as one of my instructors told a classmate of mine, "If this is really what you want stop whinning and put on your big girl panties and deal with it"

Bacillus subtilis · Sep 24, 2009

My program involves a lot of "self teaching" as well. My first semester they used canned online demos (affiliated with the textbook publisher) and refused to demonstrate procedures. Their rationale was that people won't prepare for lab if the instructor demonstrates a given skill. As you can imagine, this approach generated stress, anger and tears. Worst of all, the online demos usually ran counter to the instructor's "preferred" method. It was trial and error. I really think they're trying to toughen us up--or it's a by-product of their torture! Believe me, you're not alone in feeling this way.

CharlieT · Sep 24, 2009

Cat,

First, a hug to you. Go on youtube and search for skills there. I like the demos by hawknurse, there are many more good ones as well. Watch the skill(s) that you are supposed to do at your next time in the lab. Watch several, watch them again and again untill you know them well. Take notes on them. Everyone crys at least once in nursing school, most cry more than once, a lot more. I cried when I recieved the email letting me know that I was in the program so I am not sure if that counts or not! Nursing school is a little different in that you have to go out and dig for information on your own, its just part of the learning process in that you have to research things and be somewhat self motivated. I think I would get an F in social skills sometimes as well, but they don't grade on that. Sometimes I look around my classroom and thinks to myself "If they can survive nursing school, then certianly I can". Sort of a strange and warped form of motovation but it works for me.

CeilingCat, ASN, RN · Sep 24, 2009

While I appreciate your input, I don't see the need for being snarky. If you're in nursing school for the right reasons, where's the compassion? You may not mean to be hurtful, but right now, when I am feeling at my lowest moment, your comments are hurtful.

I'm sorry to hear that you also experienced some cruel behavior by instructors, but that doesn't mean it's normal or right.

You have shown your weakness to your instructors now and they are going to use it against you, that is definate.

For what purpose? My school insists they have enough 2nd year clinical spots for all first year students, and they said the weed-out policy doesn't apply once a student is in. Why beat us up?

They do that because patients can tell your weakness right away and they use it against you, so you have to learn to deal with it before you get into the actal clinical setting.

Being around clients in a professional setting I am fine. Dealing with people doesn't bother me. I've done animal Rescue work for years; dealing with emotional people, treating "patients" who don't always cooperate, and doing things such as wound care are old hat to me. I believe that touching, caring for, and listening to people is what I was meant to do.

What I don't like to do is come in unprepared, then being talked to like I'm a 3rd grader whose dog ate her homework. To give you an example: this week the Test Out topics sheet didn't include all the things we'd be tested on, and I walked in to find out suddenly I'd have to do tube-feedings with a machine (not really covered in our book, never mentioned on the handout). I'd never seen one before in my life. :confused:

Yes, I could've done it half-assed and probably gotten a "pass" for today if I took the pass with a boatload of nasty comments. But what does that teach me? That I can be half-assed as long as I have a thick skin?

And you can do great in lecture but if you cant put it into practice then how are you supposed to work with actual patients?

How can I put it into practice if I'm never taught it? If I am expected to learn skills from a textbook, why do I need to go to school at all? I just can't wrap my head around this idea. :confused:

Why not just let me work as a UNA to get clinical hours, then have me take the Boards, after lots of self-study? Seems like most of what I'm doing now is self-study anyway. :banghead:

I admit that I don't understand their lesson plan... so of course I'm going to do poorly if I can't figure out what the heck they want me to do.

It is usually hard to find study groups in nursing school, especially if you are older (I am 37) because nursing school is a competition and most students see it that way, an older student is seen as goody goodys and younger students do not want to study with us. You are the competition.

Competition for what?

In my class I am about the average age. Most are at least in their late 20s ranging up to their 40s and beyond.

Do not give up if nursing is really what you want to do. But nursing school is going to be the hardest years of your life, there is no way to survive it if it is not what you truly want. The instrctors seem to have a sixth sense and can tell who is really in it for the right reasons and they push those people so that they can become the best of the best.

That's not here. Here on orientation date they kept repeating "76 = RN" and reminded us all we needed was a 76 to graduate... their idea of a pep-talk, I suppose. The classmates who aren't getting upset are the C students who are used to 76's. (Yes, my school lets in more than a few B and C students).

I am used to earning high 90s, so this is breaking me. THAT is why I am upset(!!!) I cannot tolerate mediocrity. But the way things are set up, there's no way I can master the material with the tools I am given. So I guess my choices are give up... or aim for that low-C grade like my classmates, then just BS my way through, once I'm in the workplace? Is this really what nursing school is all about?

CeilingCat, ASN, RN · Sep 24, 2009

Thanks to everyone who as replied. I think I just needed a shoulder to cry on. Perhaps this is just part of adjustment pains. I feel like was drafted, and this is Army Boot Camp. Maybe I'd be less surprised if the mistakes were penalized with the shout "drop and give me 20 pushups!"

canoehead: thanks for your offer to help! I do have a friend who's a retired nurse who is happy to help me. My only roadblock is that I can't get her into my lab. But perhaps I just need to be creative and find ways to do much of this stuff at home, improvising for some of the equipment.

LeesG: Thanks for the kind words. I'll keep trying to connect with people. It just feels forced to make "friends" this way.

Bacillus subtilis: Love your username, by the way. Yes, we have videos too. But to make things more fun, they're put out by a different company, totally contradicting the textbook for some of the procedures. I have to look at both, outline both, and try to figure out which one is more correct.

CharlieT: thanks for the kind words. Good idea.....I will have to check youtube. I am not usually a crier, so the mere fact I lost my composure scares the crap out of me. At least I was able to hold my composure long enough to sneak off into the ladies room, so no instructors saw it.

SaraFL · Sep 24, 2009

I am really sorry for all that you are going through. It sounds really awful. Don't let them push you out of the program. You are obviously smart enough, you care enough, now you just have to get through it.

Let me preface this by saying I am not in the nursing program yet. However, it seems like if you can get a "pass" on the lab portions, just do it. It seems like yes, it would be better if the instructors would actually do a decent job of teaching, and yes it would be better if you could know how to do those procedures by-the-book-perfect, but from what I've read on here and learned in other situations is that most of the fine tuning will be done on the job anyway. (If I am wrong please correct me.) My sister and I are both sort of like you, book smart but introverted. I love to help people, deal with patients, etc., but teaming up with some snooty person in class is about as fun as having teeth pulled. Something we've been telling ourselves is "just play the game, and get through it". The school, the instructors, some of them just want to make you jump through hoops, and make your life difficult just for the heck of it. Play their stupid game. You will be the winner at the end of it.

Circejane · Sep 24, 2009

What is your adviser saying about this?

cingle · Sep 24, 2009

I feel your pain, sort of. I am not an outgoing person whatsoever and I've very cautious about other people. I'm very hard-working and I'm amongst the older students in my class at 43. So far the only part of school that is a true struggle for me is when we're randomly placed in small groups to work together.

Having said that, I will be an excellent nurse. I've been working in patient care for many years and I'm good at it. When I'm working with patients and their family members, I'm in my element and very comfortable.

Can you order nursing skills on DVD/CD? We use them for clinicals and our instructors take time only to answer questions about them since there is not time to demonstrate everything. There are also skills to be found on YouTube, but you have to be careful when you search because some things don't come up with nursing skills but with "naughty nurse" skills instead, if you know what I mean!

Watch the skills over and over...and practice on any family members/neighbors/pets you can get hold of. Bribe them with food if need be! I think one of the most important things is to know the rationale for everything you're doing. If you do something a little different than your instructor envisions, but you have a nursing rationale for why you do it that way, that's tough to argue with.

Just keep it in perspective...a little time spent on clinicals at school and then you'll have real humans to work with soon!

RaeF · Sep 24, 2009

I'm so sorry you're feeling that way. My school is the exact same way with the lab. They don't do demos or teach anything, you are supposed to figure it out for yourself. That can be hard if you are a visual learner. But I guess they do it to make us independent students.

My friend was a solid A student before she started the program, and she has a meltdown when she gets a low B or high C on an exam. I know it's hard and you're frustrated, but just try to remember that it's a whole other level of school now. Don't get freaked out if you end up with a B, just do your best to pass!

If your clinical is like mine, it's a pass or fail option, right? For us, that just means that you have to be "progressing." Just make sure you are able to demonstrate the right skills, and don't feel silly for being nervous and sick in the stomach. I bet you everyone else feels the same way.

If you need help with skills, youtube is a good place to look. Just make sure that you are still doing your test offs the way that your school expects, as each institution is a little different. If it helps, I always make check lists off what to do for clinical stuff, and I use those to study. If you are testing off on some of the stuff I have on my computer, I'll be glad to email you. Just let me know if you want them.

You are not doomed, and you will get through this!!!!