low self esteem and clinical instructor

  1. Hi

    My self esteem has been low most of my life (mostly due to put downs from my father who was alcoholic. He has been dead for a long time now. But i still remember the put downs...etc. For a while i felt my self esteem coming back up until i had a really unpleasant clinical instructor. She never was pleasant, never said anything positive and I worked hard. I heard every semester she picks a student out to pick on, and unfort that person was me. After each clinical my self esteem got lower and lower until now when i need to decide on whether to withdraw from program. I do really well in theory class, etc. For some reason maybe she knows i have low self esteem......I am overwt, not much to look at, etc....... I really like nursing, especially the patients who I am very comfortable with. Any advice?
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    About carlarenee02

    Joined: May '05; Posts: 191; Likes: 11
    not presently employed

    10 Comments

  3. by   goodstudentnowRN
    Carlene,

    Please do not be so hard on yourself. Most instructors who try to put down students have low self-esteem themselves. You need to be cinfident and let this instructor see how strong you are. Do your skills during clinical with confidence whether she is present or not. I would ingnore this instructor's attitude and do my work. Obviously she is not being validated at home and so she needs students to satisfy her ego. Please do not give in to the enemy, be strong. God will see you through sista!
  4. by   cursedandblessed
    (((((carlarenee))))) how much longer until you are done with her??? is she faculty or adjunct??? i'm in your boat, somewhat. you're not alone, trust me, i've had the alcoholic husband, and know what the personality type can do to your self esteem. i hope things look better to you tomorrow. sometimes i can't believe i'm actually paying for this.
  5. by   carlarenee02
    I just finished with her..........and won't have her again, but that does not help way i feell. Sometimes i wish she would have just said I should get into different profession.
  6. by   ghillbert
    Go and see a counsellor. If you're an adult, it's time to choose how you react to people. You cannot allow other people to determine your destiny - not your father, and not some nasty instructor. It's also possible the instructor isn't that bad, but you perceive what is said as a personal insult if you're super sensitive.

    If you want to be a nurse, then you have to make it happen.
    Go and find a psychologist or counsellor that you click with, and learn some techniques to improve your self esteem.

    Good luck.
  7. by   bekindtokittens
    So you've already made it through the clinical with this instructor, go you! Instead of focusing on the bad experiences you've had, focus on the good experiences that will come. You made it through this set of clinicals, even with a difficult instructor. This is a great, positive achievement, and you did it. Let this be one of many self-esteem boosts that you will need to make it through nursing school.

    You've had some bad times that have brought you down, but you can either choose to continue to let them define who you are, or you can let them go. Don't let other people dictate who you are and how you feel about yourself. You can take the control back. So hold your head up high and even if you don't feel confident about yourself, act it.

    Hugs.:icon_hug:
  8. by   stephynic21
    Congrats to you for making it away from her! i had the same situation with my first semester clinical instructor. She hated me...i'm taking rolling her eyes when i spoke during pre/post conference, huffing and puffing if i asked a question...she did this not only to me, but to another student as well. i'm generally a very smart person. Its not like i was not making sense or anything. she seriously made me doubt if i wanted to continue in nursing. Like your teacher, it was rumored that she always picked one out of her clinical groups and made their lives hell. Lucky us, she picked two.

    It does get better. i just finished my second semester. It seems that once i moved up, the instructors no longer treat us like we are stupid. We do get more respect. My instructor now is very patient, she is kind and she never makes me feel like i shouldn't be doing what i'm doing.

    Point is...if its something you want, don't let anybody tell you that you can't do it, or make you feel inferior. You may not be in control of her actions, but you are in control of how you let it affect you. I think there will be nothing more satisfying than for my first semester clinical instructor to see me graduate.
  9. by   RN2Bee84
    LOVE yourself first! Before you can go see a professional you have to have some type of love for yourself. No one reguardless of what degree the have can show you how to love yourself. I have been in the same situation as you and I had low self esteem also but I realized I had to learn to love myself no matter how big or small I was, I needed to accept myself; how can you expect someone to accept you if you can't accept yourself. You mentioned that you are over weight. Now the media has everyone thinking that they need to be a size 2 to be considered beautiful. Not true at ALL if you are healthy then you are fine, there is nothing wrong with wanting to loose weight but do it because YOU want to not because you think that it will make people treat you different cuz that won't fix your problem. This is what I did..... Find a song that just makes you feel like you are ALL OF THAT when you hear it then I want you to listen to it while you are getting ready in the morning and listen to it while you ride in your car, clean your house and before you go to bed. Soon you will feel good about yourself without even having to listen to the song. See I didn't care about looking good (i.e. getting my hair done, dressing nice) because I figured I wasn't attractive anyway but once I started fixing myself up and caring about ME then things changed and the same can happen for you next thing you know you will be happy that you are BIG and beautiful and you will be looking in the mirror and saying to yourself... I am the S*** and you will have a strut in your walk and people will look at you and say.... dang she is the s***!


    P.S. Get Beyonce new CD "I am... Sasha Feirce" the deluxe edition and listen to "Diva" and "Ego". Get a switch in your hip honey! Then you can go deal with your past issues!
  10. by   NIGHTWOLF87
    just offering a different take on your situation. have you read the book or seen the video recording of "the last lecture" by randy pausch? he talks of a similar situation: when mr. pausch was younger, he was on a football team, and a certain coach just rode him constantly and gave him a hard time. the following is taken from the transcript of "the last lecture":

    [font=tte148a4e8t00][font=tte148a4e8t00]"there was one practice where he just rode me all practice. you're doing this wrong, you're doing this wrong, go back and do it again, you owe me, you're doing push-ups after practice. and when it was all over, one of the other assistant coaches came over and said, [font=tte156f948t00][font=tte156f948t00]yeah, coach graham rode you pretty hard, didn't he? [font=tte148a4e8t00][font=tte148a4e8t00]i said, [font=tte156f948t00][font=tte156f948t00]yeah. [font=tte148a4e8t00][font=tte148a4e8t00]he said, [font=tte156f948t00][font=tte156f948t00]that's a good thing. [font=tte148a4e8t00][font=tte148a4e8t00]he said, [font=tte156f948t00][font=tte156f948t00]when you're screwing up and nobody's saying anything to you anymore, that means they gave up[font=tte148a4e8t00][font=tte148a4e8t00]. and that's a lesson that stuck with me my whole life. is that when you see yourself doing something badly and nobody's bothering to tell you anymore, that's a very bad place to be. your critics are your ones telling you they still love you and care."
    [font=tte148a4e8t00][font=tte148a4e8t00]
    [font=tte148a4e8t00][font=tte148a4e8t00]just trying to put a positive twist on a bad situation that you experienced. i am in no way saying that your instructor was trying to give you constructive criticism, but just wanted you to know that out of every situation something positive can be learned. i would definitely recommend his book to you. just hang in there and good luck!
  11. by   cursedandblessed
    supergreat advice from everyone here. i saw a counselour after my mom remarried, it helped tremendously. focus on the fact that you made it through this rotation--that's a positive thing. next please love yourself. i know some of us want to do for everyone else but us, but if we don't take time for us, we will end up old and bitter.
  12. by   BEDPAN76
    Carlene, you have received excellent advice! Please keep us posted on how you are doing. I used to teach LPN students and always tried to boost their confidence and self-esteem. Probably because I remember how some of my teachers in high school put me down and said I wasn't "college material". Hang in there, and keep posting!

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