I see problems in my future - page 2
Hi all! After taking intermediate and college Algebra, English Comp 1 & 2, Psycology, Sociology, Anthropology, Business Statistics, Biology, Chemistry, Physics, A & P I and II, Microbiology, Art... Read More
Dec 7, '02Occupation: Retired Specialty: 15 year(s) of experience in Corrections, Psych, Med-Surg ; From: US ; Joined: Aug '02; Posts: 2,246; Likes: 48Some people are simply high-maintenance.
Dec 7, '02Joined: Nov '02; Posts: 33; Likes: 2Lpn2bsn, this is what you call a toxic relationship. Better stay away from it.
Dec 7, '02Occupation: Nurse Joined: Oct '01; Posts: 12,715; Likes: 2I think Renerian said it, "Drive by yourself"
Maybe she will latch on to someone else eventually
Dec 7, '02Occupation: Registered Nurse Specialty: 5 year(s) of experience in Trauma and Pediatrics ; From: US ; Joined: Apr '02; Posts: 1,523; Likes: 31Ditto to what Marie and Renerian said!
Dec 8, '02Occupation: weekend charge nurse in nursing home at present Joined: Sep '02; Posts: 152; Likes: 1WOW! Thanks everyone for your input!! I feel better to hear that it's not just me that thinks this will lead to problems later. I am going to figure out a way to back out of the carpool thing. Driving by myself won't be all bad. I'd rather do that, than be uncomfortable the whole way there and back every stinking day for the next 2 years!
Not sure how I will do this. I could either be direct and talk to her and tell her why I am not going to be carpooling (don't really want to do this), or I could just back off and ignore that we were ever going to carpool....or say I just decided I'd rather drive alone? Decisions Decisions.
Thank you all again, for your responses.
Dec 8, '02Occupation: Psychiatric Research Joined: Aug '02; Posts: 1,467; Likes: 6Actually, driving by yourself can be very helpful; one of my fellow students when I was in school taped lectures and replayed them in her car.
And I agree in this case: distancing yourself is the best way to go. And just tell her you'd rather drive alone; that way you don't really have to discuss anything.
Dec 8, '02Joined: Nov '02; Posts: 634; Likes: 4Stargazer's reference to "single white female" reminded me of a conversation I had with a new grad last week. She had been friends with a girl in school, but distanced herself when she found out the friend was doing drugs. Apparently this girl was not very stable and developed a serious grudge. So one day while working in the ER, this unstable new nurse gave a mental pt personal information about her ex-friend. The mental pt proceeded to stalk this poor girl for two months until he was arrested by the police. He admitted to stalking the girl, and confirmed where he had gotten the information. The state BON is investigating the matter, and may pull the nurse's license.
Dec 8, '02Occupation: Telemetry RN Joined: Nov '02; Posts: 228; Likes: 1In total agreement with everyone above. I would actually be afraid to have her at my house. I would definitely cancel the tea. Good luck with class.
Dec 8, '02Occupation: Student Joined: Aug '02; Posts: 145i'd probably go w/ something along the lines of "it's just easier to have my own car" what if you are at different clinical sites, have lab at different times? what if one of you wants to eat on campus in the cafeteria and the other one wants to make a coffee run...
all may come off as excuses but are definitely true - i learned that at the beginning of this semester. Even my best friends in the program have different preferences than i do for where to eat, what to do between classes, etc...sometimes we eat together, sometimes we go our seperate ways - you gotta have your car to do that.
Dec 9, '02Occupation: Assessment Specialist Joined: Aug '02; Posts: 113"It's just easier to have my own car" sounds like a good plan. I
would only give her reasons after that; if you have to. She sounds like she would probably eat wherever you eat, go wherever you go; etc. She sounds like she will suck you dry. Distance, distance, distance.
Dec 9, '02Occupation: CCU RN Joined: Sep '02; Posts: 1,039; Likes: 10I also agree with everyone else. Just tell her straight out....you think it may be better to drive seperately bc you they will probably be days that you need to stay or she does.
Dont entirely blow her off....you are gonna have to deal with her for a while now... know what I mean? Just slowly distance yourself. Good luck
Dec 9, '02Occupation: RN Joined: Nov '99; Posts: 2,950; Likes: 619I've done this. I just say I really need my car because I have another commitment that I must drive to.
I do not elaborate more than that. The commitment I have to drive to, might be just to drive home, but she doesn't need to know that. If she presses for an answer just say it is personal.
Which is true.
Dec 9, '02Occupation: weekend charge nurse in nursing home at present Joined: Sep '02; Posts: 152; Likes: 1Good answers!
Again, I appreciate all the responses. This board is so supportive! I agree that I shouldn't totally blow her off because like you said, I've got 2 years with her in my class. I don't want to make an enemy, I just want to get away from her!
Thanks again for all the great input. It really helps.