I see problems in my future

[LPNtoBSNstudent]

Hi all!

After taking intermediate and college Algebra, English Comp 1 & 2, Psycology, Sociology, Anthropology, Business Statistics, Biology, Chemistry, Physics, A & P I and II, Microbiology, Art Appreciation, Lifetime Wellness, Total Fitness, Speech, Microcomputer Applications PLUS all of my LPN courses....I am FINALLY ready to start the BSN portion of school in January!! I am getting very excited!

My school is an hour away at least, maybe 1.5 hours away on a bad day. But, I have met a gal in my Microbiology class that is going too. And we will be car pooling together. At least that is the plan. First of all here is a little history.

We ended up lab partners for Microbiology. She was mentioning nursing school, so I told her of my plans and within a day she had called the nursing advisor of the school and gave my name, saying that I had referred her. Anyway, at the time, that was fine, I mean, it would be great to start out with a car pool buddy. Anyway, so then a few days later she asks where I work and I told her. Within a few weeks she got a job where I work, also mentioning my name to the DON. She is a CNA there on a different shift and I work as a charge nurse, but I am soon moving to her shift....which was in the plans all along for when I start the BSN program.

Ok, so in the meantime, I am getting everything done to get ready for nursing school admission etc. She got all her paperwork turned in late but was finally accepted. So, I went and got my physical, shots and CPR certification taken care of and of course I had to tell her all about where to go and how to do it, because she didn't know what to do etc. But I think she is getting those things taken care of now too (right at the deadline!).

I really feel like I am taking care of this girl because she is always late getting things done and doesn't have any information of her own. I don't really mind that but here is what I do mind. She is kinda moody to me most of the timeand many other people in our Microbiology class. Everyone always thinks she is in a bad mood, me included. I find it very uncomfortable talking to her about anything. I feel this is a competitive thing with her. She also is the type to talk while the instructor is lecturing which I can't stand, so I ignore it until we are on a break. I mean she will just blurt out something out of the blue, usually a question that is not on topic at all about the lecture. (something with the bsn program or work).

Ok, also I should mention, she is the type of person that always has an excuse for everything. Blames everything on someone else (test scores, not getting paperwork done on time, etc) A quality which drives me nuts.

I want to talk to this girl and just say..."Hey, ya know, this is going to be a rough couple of years for us. The best thing for us is to work together, drop the competition and try to help each other out, maybe get to know each other a bit so it will be more enjoyable riding together" I have plans to hold a little tea at my house and invite her family and her over for a get to know you thing. But it is not set in stone yet.

Now, it will help me quite a bit to have a car pool buddy, but it is not mandatory. If this is a lost cause and we inevitably end up mad at each other while in the program, I'd rather just skip the car pool bit and drive myself, and avoid her a bit. I mean, our personalities are pretty different.

Well, gotta get to work now. what do you guys think? What would you do? Anyway, I am up for any advice. Thanks!!

[Stargazer]

Am I the only one who immediately thought of the movie Single White Female?

I would be at least annoyed, if not seriously creeped out by now. Agree with everyone else. Distance yourself politely, but distance yourself now.

[sjoe]

Some people are simply high-maintenance.

[mmnursewannabee]

Lpn2bsn, this is what you call a toxic relationship. Better stay away from it.

[Mkue]

I think Renerian said it, "Drive by yourself"

Maybe she will latch on to someone else eventually:)

[RNbeach, ASN, RN]

Ditto to what Marie and Renerian said!

Brenda

[LPNtoBSNstudent, BSN, RN]

WOW! Thanks everyone for your input!! I feel better to hear that it's not just me that thinks this will lead to problems later. I am going to figure out a way to back out of the carpool thing. Driving by myself won't be all bad. I'd rather do that, than be uncomfortable the whole way there and back every stinking day for the next 2 years!

Not sure how I will do this. I could either be direct and talk to her and tell her why I am not going to be carpooling (don't really want to do this), or I could just back off and ignore that we were ever going to carpool....or say I just decided I'd rather drive alone? Decisions Decisions.

Thank you all again, for your responses.

[researchrabbit]

Actually, driving by yourself can be very helpful; one of my fellow students when I was in school taped lectures and replayed them in her car.

And I agree in this case: distancing yourself is the best way to go. And just tell her you'd rather drive alone; that way you don't really have to discuss anything.

[Angelica]

Stargazer's reference to "single white female" reminded me of a conversation I had with a new grad last week. She had been friends with a girl in school, but distanced herself when she found out the friend was doing drugs. Apparently this girl was not very stable and developed a serious grudge. So one day while working in the ER, this unstable new nurse gave a mental pt personal information about her ex-friend. The mental pt proceeded to stalk this poor girl for two months until he was arrested by the police. He admitted to stalking the girl, and confirmed where he had gotten the information. The state BON is investigating the matter, and may pull the nurse's license.

[BMS4]

In total agreement with everyone above. I would actually be afraid to have her at my house. I would definitely cancel the tea. Good luck with class. :)

[beaRNwhenIgroUP]

i'd probably go w/ something along the lines of "it's just easier to have my own car" what if you are at different clinical sites, have lab at different times? what if one of you wants to eat on campus in the cafeteria and the other one wants to make a coffee run...

all may come off as excuses but are definitely true - i learned that at the beginning of this semester. Even my best friends in the program have different preferences than i do for where to eat, what to do between classes, etc...sometimes we eat together, sometimes we go our seperate ways - you gotta have your car to do that.

[Motivated, SN]

"It's just easier to have my own car" sounds like a good plan. I

would only give her reasons after that; if you have to. She sounds like she would probably eat wherever you eat, go wherever you go; etc. She sounds like she will suck you dry. Distance, distance, distance.

[New CCU RN]

I also agree with everyone else. Just tell her straight out....you think it may be better to drive seperately bc you they will probably be days that you need to stay or she does.

Dont entirely blow her off....you are gonna have to deal with her for a while now... know what I mean? Just slowly distance yourself. Good luck