Having a hard time with the people in my nursing school...

[tbnurse1]

Hi there! I guess I came on here to vent since I'm not sure where else to go for advice or a nursing vent sesh. I'm a first semester nursing student and I find myself really disliking a lot of the people I go to school with. Everyone is very dramatic, two faced, and back stabbing...you can't trust anyone!

We took our final today and about half half of us went out for happy hour at a local restaurant. One girl in my program had a little bit too much to drink and started crying after she got kicked out of the restaurant. I went up to her and asked if she was okay or needed a ride home, she then shoved me into a wall and cussed me out. Other people in the program had to hold her back so I can walk away without her attacking me!

On top of that all year I've been hearing nonstop trash talking about other people in the program, people trying to rat other people out to the professors, and just overall nastiness. Is this what the nursing world is like?

It's really discouraging to see these are the type of people that want to be nurses. In a sense it kind of makes me sad. so here I am reaching out to all the fellow nurses and nursing students. Are other nursing programs like this? Can you help shed some light on how to make the next year and a half with these people not so...awful?

Sorry for the vent. I needed to let it out somewhere!

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

LOL @ getting kicked out of a restaurant. Cant make that stuff up lolol

Buddy up with the guys. Much less drama :)

You know, now that I think about it, that's what I did. And of all my fellow students, the only one I'm still friends with is a guy.

[Ilargia99, LVN, RN]

There's been some drama in my program as well but it's only been caused a couple of girls. Most of the others are friendly and easygoing, which is nice.

Just stay focused on your schooling and don't get involved in any drama and you should be ok. Good luck to you!

[JerseyDevilsAdvocate, BSN, RN]

I've dealt with similar issues in my nursing cohort (with about three bad eggs), as well as the RNs I worked with during clinical rotations being extremely unprofessional and downright nasty to us.

I've talked to several nurses I know through family, and they say there was a slogan in nursing school that went "Nurses eat their young." Many of those nurses say they would come home crying after clinical rotations (glad to know I'm not the only one)

I would just say that it would be best to keep to yourself, focus on yourself. There is a nursing instructor at my school who said studies show that you do just as well studying alone than in a group, and when you study alone you focus on your own needs solely.

Ironically, nursing is seen as a very compassionate profession, but from personal experience it is the complete opposite; especially in the mental health field, there is a lot of ableism and it just simply is not right. Sadly, from the nurses I've spoken to, most nurses aren't very nice people. Just stick it out, find your niche, and ignore them. Don't let them stress you out, and try to be the best nurse you can be.

No one says you HAVE to work with the students in your cohort, you can work as far away from where you are as possible! You can be a school nurse, work at an insurance company, not everyone has to do ER or ICU.

[Buyer beware, BSN]

Well, now that you know how dramatic nursing school can be, maybe you have figured out how to keep out of the drama. Study, work hard, and leave the drama to those who have not yet mentally left middle school.

And just make sure everyone is in their cell at 10pm promptly for role call and lights out or it's the hole I tell ya!

[flufffyo1]

Well, for sure, there will be people you don't get along with in nursing school and in your workplace. Such is the reality of life. So spend time with the people you perceive as high quality people and distance yourself from the drama of others. I learned that especially in my experience. Being ignored and treated like a nobody in my own clinical section group is degrading and lonely but that's okay, because I found a different group of students in my class who helped me realize just how great I am as a person and who has encouraged me to be the best I can be and go after opportunities despite having very little confidence in myself. The result? Since being with the other group of people outside of my clinical section, I have improved my grades, passed all my classes no problem, been hired into an internship at a well known hospital on my preferred unit (with high chance of being hired on the spot after graduating) and I got elected for a high leadership position in a club. I owe it to their kindness and encouragement. We bring each other up, not down. And my clinical group? They remained where they are at in their closed off clique, no internship, and un-involved in extracurriculars. You just gotta go off and do what you need to do. Nursing school is short; don't let some people ruin it for you.

ETA: Oh and one of the poster already said this but befriend the dudes in nursing as well. No joke. I have no idea why but men in nursing are really some of the most chillax people I've ever met on earth!

[guest52816]

Unfortunately, your experience is more the norm, rather than the exception. Welcome to nursing!

I graduated from nursing school in May 2016, and my experience was pretty much the same as yours. Half of our class was made up of "nasty girls in scrubs" and the other half, which included one male, were decent folks.

My advice is to buddy-up with the decent folks. These are the students who will practice skills with you in the skills lab and form study groups. Ignore and stay away from the toxic students. Sometimes this is difficult as some of them will go out of their way to be rude to other classmates.

Nursing school is extremely stressful and it is so sad that the only way some people can feel good about themselves is by trying to knock down others. But keep in mind, these people have fragile egos and probably have some emotional issues as well.

Once you graduate, you will encounter these same people as co-workers. They don't simply fade away.

I am confident you will find a core group of trustworthy classmates. And eventually, you will find a handful of co-workers that you can rely on. As others have stated, don't be looking for friends in school or at work. Be willing to settle for comrades.

[chiromed0]

Umm...sounds just like immature college stuff to me. Not sure what this has to do with "nursing" as a profession although some of the weirdest people I've met are in healthcare and academia so???? Anyway, I never went to school to make friends and I'm not at work to find buddies. I don't hang out with them or want to and they usually feel the same about me. I was at school to learn and at work to well, work. I find friends where I want friends and that's usually not where there's alcohol, school, or work.

[sunny time]

Get use to it. I have been in nursing 27 years and you just described my nursing life for that long. Not only do my colleagues complained but so do the patients. Take my advice get out while you can

[tyrha92]

I completely understand what you are going through. My program has a lot of the same problems. Lots of drama, lies and just plain terrible people. My program a lot of the girls have formed a group and plan special events without us and the other girls and constantly talk crap in front of patients and even treat the teachers horrible. I just keep my head down and pray time flys by so I don't have to see them again. Never been treated so horrible by people. It's sad this is going to be future nurses.

[Irish_Mist, BSN, RN]

No, this is not a representation of nursing or all nursing programs. My cohort was nothing like this. Not even close.

Keep your head in the game and focus on your studies. You are there for one sole purpose: to become a nurse. If you make friends in school, great. If not, oh well.

[CaffeinePOQ4HPRN, BSN, MSN, LPN, RN]

You're there to get a nursing education. Stay focused on your studies and avoid the drama. If this was only first semester I guarantee a fair number of these people won't be there to the end. By then maybe there will be a core group of people you can have a professional relationship with.

100% Keep your eye on the prize. You're there for an education, not to make friends.Stay focused on your goal, eventually like-minded people will appear, because as @blondy2061h said the cohort will thin out significantly as people flunk out of the program. When you graduate, you'll look back on this, realize how small it is and wonder why you ever allowed it to bother you in the first place. Try joining study groups to expand your support network while in school but keep focused on your goal. That is the only thing that matters the most right now. When you graduate, you won't see most (if any) of these people again anyway. You are not in nursing school to make friends.

[kbrn2002, ADN, RN]

Unless you are stuck in some particularly hellish cohort I guarantee you not everyone is backstabbing, lying gossip queens. Look around in class, there are probably at least a few students that are quietly minding their own business and probably thinking the same thing you are. Either keep to yourself or strike up a conversation with somebody that isn't the class attention hog. Distance yourself from the rude crowd, if you dislike them so much why are you going out drinking with them? That just sounds like a good way to make yourself look like part of the group you dislike so much. Last but not least look at this as good practice for your professional life. You are not going to like every one of your co-workers but you will still have to find a way to work with them.