A Mother AND a student????

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I will be a first year Nursing student Starting Sept. 3. So how come I have this big lump in my throat and tears welling in my eyes? I have a 3 year old and a 17 month old. They've never been in a dayhome in their lives.

I was committed to being a stay at home mom until the opportunity came up in the small town that I live in to take my nursing program locally. This is a pilot project. So I didn't want to risk missing this opportunity, I upgraded a course I needed and was accepted. Then my husband was also accepted into an MBNA program. I was mad yet happy for him because very few people are accepted into this program and he is very young (27) compared to the others in his class.

Yet I am so sad. I don't want to leave my kids!!! Maybe I'm just scared. I listened to DR.Laura's radio program (Even though I hate her moral pushing, unaccepting views) and a caller in the same situation as me phoned in. Dr. Laura told her that she was being selfish. She had her chance to go to school but decided to have kids, now she's going to school to fullfill her own selfish needs.

Yesterday I watched Oprah and Dr. Phyl was on (I do love him!) He said that mothers don't take enough "me" time. That mothers are expected to be mothers and thats it. He said that family and friends have to stop making mothers feel guilty for doing their own thing away from the kids. He said we need to take time for us. I agree, but yet why do I feel like this????:o :o

I am so glad to read these posts. I have never posted here before but I had to post on this one. I have a 3 year old daughter and I am going back to school next semester. I am just starting my prerequisites and I know that I have a long road ahead of me, which really makes me sad because I don't want to miss out on any of my daughter's acheivements. She is a very bright and beautiful girl. I had to return to work when she was 5 weeks old for financial reason and it killed me. She has stayed with my mom so I know she is good hands but it is still hard. Now working and going to school will surely cut into our time together. My husband has been very supportive of my going back to school and assures me that she will still love me just as much. I know he's right but it is still hard. Good luck to everyone. I know that this will be best for me and my family, and it makes the time I get to spend with my daughter much more special. :)

Specializes in LTC, ER, ICU,.

laura, welcome. i can relate to not having the time to spend with our children as we would like . i do wish you all the best.

Specializes in LTC, ER, ICU,.

welcome, sarah and all the best to you.

I had separation anxiety too. I took my 15-month-old son to daycare for the first time today. I have been home with him since the day he was born and honestly, I had a big empty hole in my heart the whole time I was away from him ... I missed him so much and was only away from him for 4 hours. I'm sure I'll get used to this daycare thing though! He did absolutely fine and had a very fun-filled day playing with the other children his age. I think I was really lucky to find a good daycare and as well, I know a lot of people who take their children to the same place.

I think many of us have been in your shoes. I was a stay-at-home mom until we moved back to the States from overseas when my son was around 20 months old. I decided then that I didn't want to put off nursing school any longer so I'd better apply to school and get a job to make some money in the meantime.

I think I cried every day for the first two weeks when I dropped my son off at daycare but oddly enough, I was the only one shedding tears. He was running off into school to play with his friends, smiling, laughing and having a grand 'ol time. Kids are so darn adaptable!

Now, one year later, I have no regrets. I've got a great job making decent money with lots of flexibility and I start the nursing program in one week. As for my son, he is happy as a lark going to school. He starts the pre-K program in two weeks.

Everything works out in the end but it is so normal to be ambivalent and scared when you are undergoing a big life change. Isn't it nice to know you are not alone?

HI there! My daugther is 3 1/2. Today is her 1st day of Pre-school. She is ready. I think I am too. We'll see today when I drop her off how we do. I know I cried when my son started Kindergarden. He didn't go to pre-school. I know I'm looking forward to have some time by myself.(I'm going to buy my books today and eat lunch w/ a friend.

Have a great day you guys.

Ana

Originally posted by AnaH

HI there! My daugther is 3 1/2. Today is her 1st day of Pre-school. She is ready. I think I am too. We'll see today when I drop her off how we do. I know I cried when my son started Kindergarden. He didn't go to pre-school. I know I'm looking forward to have some time by myself.(I'm going to buy my books today and eat lunch w/ a friend.

Have a great day you guys.

Ana

Hi AnaH ! Preschool! wouldn't that be so much fun to do again !..lol.. Well I hope she has a good day and you too !! :)

Try not to feel guilty about leaving your kids. ( i Have to remind myself this same thing all of the time)

You are making yourself stronger ,which in the end will help you kids be strong too. I too am a mom (except I ama single mom)w/a full time day job and I am an evening weekend Nursing student as well. When school is in session I have very little time for my six year old daughter. Yes the first few months was an adjustment but now she is very proud of me and tells anyone she can that i am going to be a Nurse. I think it is good for them to see us studying. They will learn from this. My daughter grew up in daycare as i had to work and had no choice. As a result, she is very outgoing and confident. She can handle herself well with other people. I also moved back home with my mother when I went back to school(I don't need a babysitter for my eve/weekend classes because she is there to help. Let other people help you if you can. I was never good at asking for help ,but let me tell you, There is nothing like a good support network of friends or family. I am still very close to a few of the moms from the daycare days and we know that we can always count on each other.

don't feel guilty. You are doing this for your kids future as well as your own. You have every right to be happy and make your self stronger.

cawsn:kiss

Specializes in ICU.

I also was very committed to being a SAHM. I even worked nights part time in order to make sure there was always a parent home for my sons. My oldest is 5 , my youngest is 3 and this year I was burnt out. If I made chocolate milk one more time I was gonna scream. (Stupid, I know). I was burnt out because I wasn't pursuing anything for me. I felt like my brain was turning into mush. The kids were getting on my nerves.So this summer when I got into a daytime cna class I decided that they could go to preschool. They love it. They did a ton of fun things that mommy never let them do (NO YOU CANNOT PLAY WITH PLAYDOH, DO YOU KNOW HOW MESSY THAT IS??? lol) I felt bad about it. I couldn't drop them off the first week, I felt so quilty. As this summer has passed and I got through the cna class, and taking my prerequisite classes, I feel so much better. I get along with the kids well. So well my oldest says he wants to be a nurse when he grows up. I love my kids and I am glad I stayed home with them when I did. But I am so glad that I did something for myself. They are happy and I am happy and that makes for a happy home life.

:confused: Hi Kiwi!

It is hard sometimes to know what to do. Just remember that you are going to school to make life better for you and your kids. It is great that your dad supports you. Don't let anyone put you down for not being with your kids 100%

cawsn:kiss

Specializes in Practice Nursing, Postnatal Nursing.

Thanks cawsn, things seem to be cruising along nicely now. I go away for 4 days a week for 5 weeks starting on Monday, my Dad (who is 74) is going to stay with the three children. I feel guilty cos when I go away, I stay in the nurses home (its a 2 1/2 hr drive to this hospital) and I love the peace and quiet, and no dishes/kids fighting/meals to cook/cleaning etc - I can just go back to my room after the clinical practical and study. I'm doing the surgical block, 4 shifts a week.

Ali :-)

It is very helpful to hear everones stories.

One of the things that my first Nursing instructor said on our first day of class last year (and prob one of the most important was" Be kind to each other and help each other out because NO ONE else will really understand what you are going through except each other n NO ONe not even your close family"

It is very supportive to have this web site and I am really glad that I found It.

THANK YOU to all of you! Have a great Day!

CAWSN

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