Many first-semester and first-quarter nursing students worry about not finding new friends while in school. Don't become too concerned over not making friends in your nursing program. It is true that bonding with classmates is always a good thing, but always remember that you aren't in nursing school to make friends. Your primary goal for being there is to learn how to become a competent nurse.
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Countless first-semester and first-quarter nursing students worriedly exclaim, "I haven't made any friends in nursing school!"
Over the years I've made a few curious observations about the nursing students who express the most concern about having made no friends. They typically fall into the traditional college-age range of 18 to 24 years old. Also, they generally enjoyed very active social lives during their high school years and continued socializing well into early adulthood.
On the other hand, the pupils who seem the least concerned about making friends in school tend to be people whom we'd refer to as the adult learners, also known as nontraditional students or reentry adults. According to the Indiana University of Pennsylvania (2012), nontraditional adult student learners are loosely defined as those undergraduate students who are 25 years of age or older. A key characteristic distinguishing reentry adults from other college students is the high likelihood that they are juggling other life roles while attending school, including those of worker, spouse or partner, parent, caregiver, and community member (Ross-Gordon, 2011).
Why do some students obsess over not making new friends while others are unconcerned about meeting people? A number of reasons can explain the gap in priorities.
First of all, let's briefly discuss identity formation, which is a maturity process whereby a person constructs a sense of self. Even though most developmental theories indicate that peoples' identities should fully take shape by the late teens, in real life the process of developing a sense of self takes much longer for many individuals. Thus, a 21-year-old whose identity has not completely formed is still going to place a far greater emphasis on her circle of friends and peer group than the 30-year-old who already has a solid sense of self.
Finally, most nontraditional-aged students have fully launched into adulthood and, therefore, deal with adult obligations such as full-time employment, marriage, child-rearing, household bills, and other duties that leave little time for sustaining new friendships. While a number of traditional college-age students have taken on these same adult responsibilities, many in this age range still do not have these commitments, so they have more time for bonding with new friends.
In summary, don't get too worked up over not making friends in your nursing program. You will look back at this experience many years from now and it will be water under the bridge. While forming positive bonds with classmates is always a good thing, remember that you aren't there to make friends. You're there to learn how to become a competent nurse and earn your degree or diploma, and you can achieve these goals with or without friends in your nursing program.
