Why do managers succumb to butt-kissing??

Nurses General Nursing

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I have been in the same hospital dept. for 12 yrs so I've seen a lot of people come & go! In the past few yrs we've had several nurse managers come & leave for various reasons. The problem is, we have one nurse (BK) on staff who attaches herself to whomever is in the Nurse Mgr positon. She gets very chummy w/them, and has befriended each NM we've had- (altho she does not keep the 'friendship' going once the NM leaves) the problem is our current NM has been here long enough to see the pattern of BK, but now that she's in that position herself, she is listening to this person (who is not a charge nurse or even a key person in any dept.) & makes decisions based on what BK tells her. Several nurses have noticed the "power" BK seems to have, and wonder what can be done about it. BK seems to think the place can't run w/out her & targets certain nurses & tells the NM things based on her own opinion. I have caught her in several lies/half truths simply by asking the person she has told me things about. I have talked confidentially to the NM & asked her to come to the charge person in each area b/f making decisions based on what BK says. So far it hasn't helped, and right now staff are feeling like they can't go to the NM b/c her opinions seemed to be formed by what BK tells her. BK is spreading negativity & admin. seems to be immune to it- part of this is b/c BK acts completely different when Admin. is around & goes out of her way to be extra nice to them- suffice it to say that Admin. does not see the person the staff does on a day-to-day basis. Another Sr. RN went to Admin. when talking to the NM didn't work, but nothing has changed. How do we handle this? People are afraid to talk to management b/c it will make BK mad, and nobody wants to be on her bad side. It's really bringing morale down, and causing a negative vibe all around our dept. - I limit the time I spend w/her, but I am seeing her treatment & intimidation of new hires & it's just not fair. Where do you go when it seems that no one will listen?

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Specializes in Geriatrics/Med-Surg/ED.

I don't have a solution, but my opinion is that GOOD managers DON'T succumb to this manipulative behavior that you describe. They should be savvy enough to SEE the pattern- esp. if they've been there working as a staff nurse b/f assuming a managerial role.

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Sure wish I knew the answer to that one. I have the same situation with one on my floor. She has ties I'm not sure even God himself could arrange. Our hospital is run by a nun, and she is so tight with the nun and all the mgrs, it is just sickening. They think she is a saint, while she treats her coworkers just like all the things you said and then some. It makes her happy to humiliate her orienting nurses in front of drs and pts. I've seen her grab patients by the face and shake them, slap them and be very verbally abusive towards them. Did I report her? Of course. Was anything done about it? Are you kidding me? "That's just ____". "You must be mistaken." "She wouldn't do that!"

Right.

That's why I risked being on her bad side to report her.

If you figure this one out, let me know. Because the one that I deal with, she has everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY, fooled.

P.S. Bless your heart. I feel for you, I really do. Just know I said a prayer for you and you are not alone.

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Specializes in Family Practice, Psychiatry.

We are in the SAME situation at my work place. I don't think there's anything that can be done, really. :(

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There really is nothing that can be done about this. Energy spent there could be better used in some other endeavor. You can continue to go to work and do what you are supposed to do without getting wrapped around the axle about what this person is or is not up to, or you can choose to move on. If you choose to move on, you take a chance at encountering something similar elsewhere, as this version of office politics is common.

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There really is nothing that can be done about this. Energy spent there could be better used in some other endeavor. You can continue to go to work and do what you are supposed to do without getting wrapped around the axle about what this person is or is not up to, or you can choose to move on. If you choose to move on, you take a chance at encountering something similar elsewhere, as this version of office politics is common.

Yes, I've pretty much come to this conclusion already! I was just throwing it out there in the hope that some new ideas might exist. :banghead: Someday admin. may wake up & wonder about staff turnover, in the meantime I will continue to distance myself from this person. It does help to know that others have experienced the same thing though!!

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Specializes in ED, ICU, PACU.

There are always one or two of these people that practice what I refer to as 'masters of passive agressiveness'. Don't think there is much that we can do about it because they are only successful when they have a manager who has some self inadequacy issues they can work with. A self assured manager will see right through the manipulation.

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Specializes in MS, ED.

Oh...wow. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this situation, and sorry to read that several others are in the same spot.

I agree that a confident, self-assured manager will root out the source of the problem (BK) and make the appropriate moves to neutralize her, (or document sufficiently to justify termination.) Obviously though, this doesn't help you all much while you're waiting to someone to step into the job and make some headway.

I hate to say it, but in corporate, we'd join together as a unit and run off the troublemaker if administration was too blind or foolish to do what was necessary. No funny business - just ignoring the odd person out and making their work experience isolated and eventually unbearable. Management would inevitably step in, but it was too difficult for the person to continually fight against the tide when no one was actually doing anything wrong, per se. They'd usually end up quitting after a big storm of accusations and emotions.

Best of luck,

Southern

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I feel for you - unfortunately - I have seen this at all levels in the hospital. Staff nurses with their manager and now in a management role where someone who was hired into a management role lateral to me had a pre-existing relationship with our administrator in the department where they worked previously. I don't think an intimate relationship - just too close friendship.

Saying anything will not do any good. At least if it comes from me. Right now - I am watching how the news goes through the chains in a different direction without having to say a word because the favoritism is so very obvious. Spending hours together in the administrators office, gossiping & etc. Always making rounds together - and the mentoring only goes in this one manager's direction. - Which really sucks at times when I run into trouble and can't even get 5 minutes on the phone with our boss.

I don't know if it will work or not. I am just worried about keeping up with my stuff. Just know that you are not alone and eventually this will catch up with them.

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We had a doozie like this. She carried this behavior to the extreme of creating med errors and other problems for the other nurses, then running to the DON with the "info". She ran around the facility bragging about how she and the DON were best buddies. When one of her contrived med errors resulted in the death of a patient that she was not assigned to, she found out how much her bosom buddy thought of her, when she was promptly fired. I noted some time later that she didn't seem to be working in nursing any more. They have office politics in prison too and I think that is where this particular rear worshipper should be practicing her brand of politics today. Be glad that you aren't of that ilk.

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Had a similar experience...felt like my hands were tied when i tried to say something NM declared it a "personality conflict" even though other nurses (rest of staff) had same "personality conflict". :banghead: Luckily, Miss personality nurse and NM moved to another department! "

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Sure wish I knew the answer to that one. I have the same situation with one on my floor. She has ties I'm not sure even God himself could arrange. Our hospital is run by a nun, and she is so tight with the nun and all the mgrs, it is just sickening. They think she is a saint, while she treats her coworkers just like all the things you said and then some. It makes her happy to humiliate her orienting nurses in front of drs and pts. I've seen her grab patients by the face and shake them, slap them and be very verbally abusive towards them. Did I report her? Of course. Was anything done about it? Are you kidding me? "That's just ____". "You must be mistaken." "She wouldn't do that!"

Right.

That's why I risked being on her bad side to report her.

If you figure this one out, let me know. Because the one that I deal with, she has everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY, fooled.

P.S. Bless your heart. I feel for you, I really do. Just know I said a prayer for you and you are not alone.

actually, as a mandated reporter, you can report this....witch...to the board......this is abuse of the elderly/vulnerable patient.....if you catch her doing it again or if it hasnt been too long since the last time, write an incident report and cc it to the don AND the risk management dept, AND the hospital lawyer, and report her sorry orifice

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