When a patient complains

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Specializes in Emergency Nursing.

Well I started my job in December, and have been on my own for about a month now. So far things seem really well, and the team I work with works very well with each other. So this morning I get called in the office by my manager (who I'm not so sure is keen on me) and she proceeds to tell me that she received a complaint to about me. I automatically knew who it was. During my first week on my own I took care of a patient who was very difficult. Impossible to please and her daughter who is also a nurse was probably worse. I just could not do anything correctly in their eyes.

The patient did come up right at a very hectic shift change and yes it did take me a good while before I was finally able to make it into the patients room, so I was already doomed from the start. I understand that my flusteredness did probably rub off as being rude, and I can take accountability for that. Like I said though this patient was impossible to please, and I wasn't the only one who saw that.

Anyways I feel horrible that I'm only a few weeks on my own and am already having complaints. I understand that I won't be able to please everyone all the time, but what do you guys do when a patient complains about you? Is this something that happens more often than not. I do not want to make a bad impression on my new manager and coworkers. I'm kinda feeling defeated at this point. Trying not to sweat it, but I'm definitely loosing sleep over it.

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What were their complaints, what did your manager say about them?

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Don't sweat it. A patient will never be satisfied, they will always have a complaint (trust me I been a nurse for 15+ years from tele to icu to er). What gets me is nurses tend to be the WORST family members and are to the point of harassing the nurse yet they forget how much they dislike it when they are working and are being harassed. The system is broken. The other day a pt came in with V-fib by rescue and they coded the pt and the pt made it. The primary nurse was doing the documentation assisting with intubation, inserting OG tube, inserting foley, cleaning up the pt, charting, speaking with the family members, giving report to ICU, transporting pt to ICU. Then she comes downstairs to 2 whiny pieces of crap human beings: the pt and her daughter (who is a nurse) complaining to the clinical manager that she's been calling for her nurse for more than an hour-the reason was because she wanted to know if the hospital provided cellphone chargers. And guess what? When the patient's satisfaction survey call comes in, it's going to be negative on the nurse. So like I said don't sweat, what can you do?...

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When someone complains, try to look at the interaction from the other person's eyes and see what you did that contributed to the break down. Do not take the attitude that "patients always complain." You will never grow that way.

Remember the importance of first impressions. People form a mental image of someone within seconds of meeting them for the first time. That mental image is very hard to change after that.

Here's what you said happened and how the patient/family member might have seen it:

1. It took a good while before you finally made it into the patient's room. Patient's/Family Member's interpretation of that - "I/my loved one is going to be ignored and neglected in this hospital/on this floor."

2. You were flustered when you did go see the patient. Patient's/Family Member's interpretation of that - "This nurse can't handle her job. S/he is in over their head. I/my family member won't be safe in her care."

3. You probably came across as rude.

This is that patient's/family member's first impression of you, your floor, and your hospital. It is how they expect you will act in the future. It isn't surprising that they were difficult after that. You and the other staff were then in the position of trying to change their negative first impression. It is very, very hard to change a negative first impression.

Even if it had taken a good while before you got in to see them, if you had been calm, confident, and polite when you did, the rest of their hospital stay might have gone smoother.

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Specializes in Critical Care, Education.

A "good" manager will always investigate any type of complaints - obtaining first hand information rather than simply accepting hearsay. You'll be able to plead your case at this time. However, it is always a good idea to become comfortable with the process of self-examination after any sort of significant event.

Take the time to reflect on what happened, your actions (or lack of action) that contributed to the outcome and what you can do differently if it ever happens again. You can do it on your drive home or even on a long potty break. This is called learning from your mistakes..... it's what will eventually make you an expert. Srsly, anyone who is all "it's not my fault" will never reach the same level.

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Specializes in Emergency Nursing.

My manager was really nice about it really. She just basically told me what was said, not sure how she got hearsay of it, whether it be a satisfaction survey or directly from family member. She just basically told me that she had to verbally tell me and document that she did so. It wasn't even a right up. I definitely see where I could have done things different in the situation. I am just the type of person that if I get in trouble or I feel that someone is upset with me it eats me up. I've already wondered if my manager isn't a huge fan of me, and this definitely won't help. Luckily I know my coworkers have been saying good things about me.

I'll definitely take this into account with the rest of my career and hopefully grow and learn from it.

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My manager was really nice about it really. She just basically told me what was said, not sure how she got hearsay of it, whether it be a satisfaction survey or directly from family member. She just basically told me that she had to verbally tell me and document that she did so. It wasn't even a right up. I definitely see where I could have done things different in the situation. I am just the type of person that if I get in trouble or I feel that someone is upset with me it eats me up. I've already wondered if my manager isn't a huge fan of me, and this definitely won't help. Luckily I know my coworkers have been saying good things about me.

I'll definitely take this into account with the rest of my career and hopefully grow and learn from it.

Don't let this eat you up. (I know that is a lot easier said than done.)

I don't know anyone who likes hearing that someone wasn't satisfied with their performance.

Your manager would be doing you a disservice if she didn't inform you of the complaint. If you do not know about a complaint, it denies you the opportunity to reflect on and improve your performance. It sounds like your boss did not want the discussion to be punitive. She was giving you feedback to enable you to improve. That is a positive thing.

If it helps - it was probably an uncomfortable conversation for your boss too.

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Specializes in ICU, Telemetry, Cardiac/Renal, Ortho,FNP.

Don't sweat it if they didn't fire you. Move on. Even the ones you're nice to can lump you in with others that were bad and still complain. Just encourage the ones that like you or compliment you to write in as well. Hospitals, managers love that. My most challenging patients have had other nurses as spouses, children, etc. Even taking care of a local physicians spouse was EASIER than nurse family members. I would not judge my abilities by "our" crowd. We are too critical on our own. Take in what you can use to be better and throw the rest away. Nobody has the right to define you, just you.

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Specializes in UR/PA, Hematology/Oncology, Med Surg, Psych.

Self examination is great, but there are times when a patient or family is just not going to be happy with you. Happens very seldom but if I have a very sick and unstable patient with an acuity that is off the charts, my completely stable but needy (ice, pillow fluff) patient just may not get attention from me as fast as they want it. If Mr. Doe is crumping, I may not have time right now to explain normal lab results AGAIN to my competent patient's 4th family member.

Some patients and their families come into the hospital with aggressive, pushy personalities or certain psychological issues that make pleasing them very difficult. Of course, everyone tries but you can't please everyone all of the time.

In my long nursing years I've learned that a few people will just not like you. Years ago I got yelled at by a patient's mother because she said my tone was condescending (met her 1 minute prior to this remark.) I've never had that complaint before or since, so obviously it was her issue and not me. Although I swear she looked like she wanted to rip my head off.

I once got a patient complaint because their medication took to long to administer on ONE occasion. The reason it was late was because the previous nurse had very seriously screwed up the dosages and I had to take the time to speak with the Dr. and recalculate the medication with the pharmacy. I took it in stride and the patient thought the previous nurse was the "bees knees" and I was just a slow, incompetent idiot.

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Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.

I had a patient that complained the ice I brought her wasn't cold enough. Not sure what's colder than frozen but oh well. Just ridiculous that is even given attention. This Burger King drive through "Have it your way" nonsense approach to patient care is why I left hospital nursing. Never again it's just too much placating satisfaction surveys instead of doing the job. Even tell my children to be anything in healthcare except the Unrespected nurse.

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Specializes in Med-Surg Nursing.

With some patients & their families, NOTHING will ever please them. HECK Jesus Christ himself could be their nurse and they'd STILL find something to complain about!

I had a patient's wife complain about me because I 'kicked her husbands bed". Which was SO not what happened. I DEMONSTRATED what I'd done to that bed. Plus I had a pair of those Nurse Mates Quarks, the ones that are all plastic? I said to my boss, If I had kicked his bed, I would've broken my foot given the shoes I'm wearing!!

What had happened was I needed the recliner chair that was in this patients room for HIM to sit in, not the wife but he was back in bed. I had to get MY post-op out of bed per the surgeon(it was POD #1 and we had to have specific orders written to get his pt's OOB) IN order to get to the chair, I had to move the bottom of the bed so I could get the chair through. The brake on this bed was at the head of the bed. Since It was an older bed, when I took the brake off with my foot, the whole bed jerked making it seem like I kicked it, when in all reality I didn't, I just released the brake. This person wasn't my patient but since his wife thought I kicked his bed, I wasn't allowed to care for him ever....FINE by me sweetie! YOU are a big ole PITA!! The actual patient was a sweetheart. I felt bad for him having a harpie for a wife!

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Specializes in Med-Surg Nursing.
I had a patient that complained the ice I brought her wasn't cold enough. Not sure what's colder than frozen but oh well. Just ridiculous that is even given attention. This Burger King drive through "Have it your way" nonsense approach to patient care is why I left hospital nursing. Never again it's just too much placating satisfaction surveys instead of doing the job. Even tell my children to be anything in healthcare except the Unrespected nurse.

Yep, you're exactly right Mom to 4. I'm glad I'm no longer at the hospital bedside either. This push to customer service is ridiculous. My patients can complain about me but 9 times out of 10 their complaint is thrown out and laughed at by my boss.

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