What is my PROBLEM???

  1. What is my PROBLEM?

    As a new grad I went to critical care for 2 years; from there, I went to public health for 4 years. I was somewhat bored with public health and always thought about the bedside, but loved the normal hours and low stress of public health. I never did get that sense of satisfaction like I did with critical care.

    The truth is, when I worked critical care (nights) I was always anxious, worried I'd make a mistake. I would triple check everything....I was always running around like a crazy person often not eating/drinking/peeing so I could care for my patients.

    I am currently a stay at home mom (SAHM) of two children (6 years and 16 months). I have been a SAHM for 6 years. Originally I wanted to stay at home until my youngest started school, but for some reason I keep thinking about nursing.

    Again I ask what is my problem? Why would I want to return to that? I don't really want to leave my baby, but just feel that the longer I am away the more skills and experience I am losing. I regret not keeping my foot in the door even while I worked in public health. Why would I want that stress back in my life?

    Does anybody out there get this? I guess I am struggling and need some support. HELP!!! What would you all do? It isn't really about the money right now. Honestly, after reading the posts on this website, it looks like I couldn't get a hospital job even if I tried...

    Any comments would be appreciated. Thanks.
  2. Visit SAHMnurse profile page

    About SAHMnurse

    Joined: May '11; Posts: 36; Likes: 21
    stay at home mom; from US
    Specialty: 5 year(s) of experience in ICU, Public Health


  3. by   TriciaJ
    Simple. You became a nurse because you couldn't NOT be a nurse. Now you are missing it. It's a dilemma many of us have; we don't miss the stress but we miss so many other things about nursing.

    Just keep your eyes open to do anything nurse-wise. Even seasonal flu shot clinics. Just to keep your hand in and make it easier to go back when you're ready.
  4. by   Double-Helix
    The problem is that you still possess the qualities that made you become a nurse in the first place- desire to help others, love of healthcare, the technical skills, etc. Becoming a mom doesn't change who you are.

    As the above poster said, there are ways to balance family life an nursing. Summer camp/day camp nursing when you can bring your kids to camp with you. School nursing where you have the same hours as your kids. Case management where the hours are more predicable/normal. You could do part time work, become a lactation consultant or nurse educator, work in home health and only take a few cases, etc.

    Only you know which decision is right for you and your family. Best of luck to you!
  5. by   not.done.yet
    I second what the above posters said. And just because a job is harder than average to get doesn't mean you can't get one - unless you don't apply.
  6. by   Glageman
    I hear you. Today, there are so many kinds of nursing - hospice, home care, clinics, outpatient surgery clinics, and even child care facilities are hiring nurses. Also, hospital are looking to keep nurses with shorter shifts and either more weekends or less weekends depending on our request. Keep looking til you find the right fit.
  7. by   RFRN
    You don't have a problem, you're missing what you used to do and that is totally normal! I always say that even if I won the lottery, I'd still do what I'm doing now because I love it and I'd miss seeing people everyday! I know being a stay at home mom is work, but it's a different kind of work that you may not get a lot of recognition for. Maybe you're missing the recognition you used to get from nursing? I can't tell you why you're missing being a nurse - could be a lot of things (extra income, sense of satisfaction, recognition of your work, having co-workers, having work goals, etc) - but I can tell you it's absolutely normal because I would feel the same way.
  8. by   Mrs. SnowStormRN
    I took a break from nursing (2.5 yrs) and was a SAHM. I'm back to work and relearning skills. I do have a new baby (again) and it is hard (to leave baby). I do not think you have a problem. Sounds perfectly normal to me.
  9. by   footqueen
    SAHM- I know exactly what you are feeling. I went to nursing school after my kids were all in school (i was 36). I did acute care for 4 yrs and, although I learned a ton and felt a lot of pride in what I did, I was always stressed.

    I then took a job in public health, which I LOVE. The only downside is the 2 hr RT commute and the hours aren't many. Some days, I commute 2 hrs and work for 3 hrs ((

    I just got offered a UR job locally, and I can name the hours. I am excited b/c it will be a huge learning curve (one of the things I love about nursing). BUT, I will not have pt contact. I could keep the public health job on the side (and the long commute)... I need to decide.

    Anyway, nursing is wonderful for it's variety, and I agree that nursing in some people is "built in". You just have it in you to want to help people)

    Good Luck!!! Enjoy the kids while they're little.
  10. by   Horseshoe
    Quote from SAHMnurse

    The truth is, when I worked critical care (nights) I was always anxious, worried I'd make a mistake. I would triple check everything....I was always running around like a crazy person often not eating/drinking/peeing so I could care for my patients.

    LOL, you just perfectly described my nursing career (though I only worked nights for 6 months).

    In my experience, they love hiring people who are willing to work part time because they don't have to pay benefits. And it's good for me because I have a nice balance between my responsibilities as a Mom, and my needs to feel professionally fulfilled.
  11. by   goldberryRN
    I was a SAHM for 17 years, recently took a 10 week refresher and now work hospice. I'm at a point now where I don't know if it was the right thing to stay out so long. There are days I've (mentally) really kicked myself for not keeping a hand in it because coming back has been so hard. Not because bedside nursing has changed, the fundamentals are the same. But the amount of computer documentation is huge now, it was nearly nonexistent when I left....and the new meds and other technology have taken a lot of work and study to learn. I don't know. I can't regret the wonderful time I spent home with my children, and it's impossible to know how our lives would be now if I had kept working. It is what it is at this point! Anyway, I wish you all the best as you discern what is right for you and yours.
  12. by   Isabelle49
    If you don't have to go back to nursing, don't do it.
  13. by   Kooky Korky
    I think I hear a little something more in your post, OP. Are you bored at home? Are you depressed? Not being nosy, just wondering if there's more of a personal/marital/family something going on.

    If you can handle it, I think moms need to be home with their little ones as much as possible. That means doing what's right when you factor in YOUR family's finances, temperament, total picture.

    I think it's good, generally speaking, to work at least a couple of days per pay period or per week. If you can find a refresher course, maybe you'd take that. But do psych yourself and make sure that your restlessness is just that and nothing more. You could get some counseling or talk with a couple of people you trust, sound this thing out with their feedback.

    We all change over time. Our needs and priorities change. Nothing wrong with that. Maybe you're just not really cut out to be a SAHM full-time. Recognizing it is good. Not all women find their greatest fulfillment in being mom and homemaker - especially these days. It's not wrong to not. It's just another thing to have to figure out.

    What does your husband say?
  14. by   SAHMnurse
    Thanks for all of your comments and personal stories. It really helps to hear what other nurses think and what they have been through.

    I think you are right, I am missing nursing. A lot about it. Including the recognition. I think I will keep my eyes open for something nurse related that looks interesting and can be part time!

    Loo hoo: Thanks. Good luck with your decision.

    Goldberry: Your story helps. I don't regret the time I have spent with my kids either, but I have a feeling I would regret going back just yet and missing these years with my kids. Especially my youngest since my older is in school.

    Kooky Korky: Don't get me wrong, I love being a stay at home mom, but I am a bit saddened that I have let my skills go. I wouldn't want to miss these years. Especially the younger, formative years with my kids. It just seems like my friends who are nurses and are moms have it made by working one shift per week. Or registry now and then. I realize I can't do that now because I've been away from the bedside so long...My husband says stay with the baby until he starts school. I agree, but still would like the best of both worlds. An occasional shift where my mom could watch the baby and pick up my daughter from school.

    I can see it now though. Getting back into nursing and then saying "what the f*%k was I thinking?

    Thanks again everybody.