We fail our old people and it's heartbreaking

Nurses General Nursing

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I recently had a patient who was admitted because a neighbor contacted the police when they realized she was living at home with a few pets in a house with no heat or running water. She's been admitted with a minor medical diagnosis, but it's been passed in report that we're just waiting on long-term care placement for her. She's in her mid 80's, has been living independently for many years, and she's pretty clear that she's going back to her house with her pets, because no one has told her otherwise. I've worked with many dementia patients over the years, even the ones that were pretty sneaky about it, and I honestly didn't see indications of dementia. She had some trouble with phone numbers, and these days no one has a phone book, so she was in the process of tracking some people down to help with the heat and water, according to her, before the neighbor called the police. If we had a system in place where elderly people could live in their home, have someone just check in on them for the basics, and they could retain some independence, that would be so beneficial. Now she'll end up in long-term care, potentially funded by the state depending on her financial situation, and she's one of those people that I'm pretty sure will just will herself to die in an institutional setting. And she's going to be one of the combative aggressive ones, too. That's the report I got from the previous nurse, but it's all about approach with her. If she feels empowered to make decisions, she's fine. As soon as she feels control has been taken away, she digs right in and will get feisty, and I don't really blame her. So what's the worst possible thing we could do for her? Long-term care placement. Breaks my heart to think that she'll never be home with her pets again and all she wanted all night was her dog on her bed. Sometimes I hate getting old.

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

Someone asked me once when I thought it would be a good time to die. I said, "Five seconds before my feet cross the nursing home threshold." Seriously, if I ever get to the point where I need to be turned and changed every two hours, to be fed by hand, to be unable to do anything for myself, I hope the Lord will take me home. Sometimes there are things that are worse than death; for me it would be life in an LTC.

Specializes in LTC, Rehab.
Someone asked me once when I thought it would be a good time to die. I said, "Five seconds before my feet cross the nursing home threshold." Seriously, if I ever get to the point where I need to be turned and changed every two hours, to be fed by hand, to be unable to do anything for myself, I hope the Lord will take me home. Sometimes there are things that are worse than death; for me it would be life in an LTC.

It's an irony that I work at one now, because that's how my mom felt - she loathed nursing homes, and part of it - besides wanting to be at home - was that her mother was in one for her last several years. I'm not bragging on myself when I say this, but I'm glad I was able to be her caregiver and allow her to pass at home.

Ok. First off, the lady can go home to her dogs. She's legally competent and no one can make her do anything. Even if someone hotlined her -- she can just decide to stay in whatever situation she wants. That's the absolute truth. Now, if she has dementia and is unable to make decisions for herself, she may be deemed incompetent. In this case, either a family member or a court appointed guardian will make those decisions on her behalf. If she's not legally competent, she probably shouldn't be living at home alone with pets.

And why are we acting like LTC is a fate worse than death? I know of many fine LTCs and assisted living facilities. They take excellent care of their residents.

What truly saddens me is that prisoners who have committed crimes & broken the law are the ONLY US Citizens ENTITLED to healthcare due to the 8th Amendment of our constitution. Get Hep C from IV heroin usage? Here's some Harvoni for ya at $96,000/treatment course! Got Aids? Only the best antivirals for you! Meanwhile if I got Hep C and wanted Harvoni? My insurance would tell me to go pound salt because it's too expensive! Criminals get 3 hots and a cot and elderly people have to struggle to survive. It's just not right. :(

We fail our elderly, they fail themselves. People may not comprehend that if they have no insurance, and have a significant hospitalization, there goes the home they struggled to pay for all those years. I have seen this happen as well.

The usual problem is that dementia comes on so imperceptibly, that by the time it's obvious, you are already in quite a world of trouble.

That, and advanced directives. There was an article in the NY Times recently about the need for a special Advanced Directive tailored to dementia.

Part of the problem is that it is almost impossible to foresee all the different financial and medical situations that can arise as we age.

Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.
Opinion. But it is frequently stated as s fact on the daily news shows.

Most people used to think the world is flat ... but that didn't make it true.

Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.
But will that insurance go with you if you leave your employer? I had a similar reasonably priced policy that disappeared when my employer changed ownership. The money I paid in isn't recoverable and the policy couldn't be converted to another policy in my name that wasn't attached to the employer's group policy.

My policy goes with me if I leave my employer. I bought it when I was 48 to get the lowest rates - and bought a low amount of insurance to start with. But it has an inflation clause that means my benefits go up by 5% each year even though my premiums do not. I did the math and it came out tremendously in my favor to do it that way.

Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.
I got my LTC insurance (currently $36/month) when the companies first started offering it. I was relatively young then, but the premiums haven't gone up that much.

I also bought my LTC insurance the very first year that my employer offered. I was only 48 at the time. (See previous post.) I am now 62 years old and the inflation protection has raised the value of the policy greatly, but my premium has only gone up by 2 or 3 dollars per month. Most companies base their rates on your age. So if you wait until you need it to buy it ... it costs too much to be worth it. You get much lower rates if you buy it when you are young. My premiums remain what they charge today's 48 years olds even as I get older.

Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.
I had a patient with long term insurance in LTC. How is that for justice.

I don't get your point. One of the reasons you by LTC insurance is to be able to afford a decent LTC. Insurance can't prevent you from needing that type care -- it just helps you pay for it if and when the time comes. That way, you have more choices as to the which facility you live in -- and don't have to bankrupt yourself (and be a burden on your family) to pay for it. But if you need that type of care, that is still where you go.

The insurance can help pay for home care, too, if that type of care is right for you. But even with insurance, home care is not the best choice for everyone.

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
Someone asked me once when I thought it would be a good time to die. I said, "Five seconds before my feet cross the nursing home threshold." Seriously, if I ever get to the point where I need to be turned and changed every two hours, to be fed by hand, to be unable to do anything for myself, I hope the Lord will take me home. Sometimes there are things that are worse than death; for me it would be life in an LTC.
I'm with you all the way, Marla, and I have made it known to both of my daughters and to my doctor.

And why are we acting like LTC is a fate worse than death? I know of many fine LTCs and assisted living facilities. They take excellent care of their residents.

I don't necessarily want other people to take "excellent care" of me and keep me alive to age 100. I'd rather live my life independently and exit quickly when the time comes.

Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.
I don't necessarily want other people to take "excellent care" of me and keep me alive to age 100. I'd rather live my life independently and exit quickly when the time comes.

Me too ... but I know I can't totally control that. So I am making plans for a variety of possible end-of-life scenarios.

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