Thoughts about childcare during procedures - page 7

I have been thinking of this for a long time now. Some of you may actually have some sort of system set up in your hospitals since you are in bigger cities, etc. What would you think of this idea... Read More

  1. by   ktwlpn
    You all have done a fantastic job with your rebuttals......just fantastic.....I get a kick out of people that take umbrage to the fact that some of society feels that other people's children should be seen and not heard...They believe their kids are special.Guess what-they are not...I will freely admit that my 14 yr old and a few of his friends can be as offensive as second hand smoke...I like how some posters put words into my mouth-I did not tell anyone they should never have had their kids-I said that I believe in all aspects of family planning....Funny how people complain about the cost of childcare-don't you agree that the care of your most precious possession must be provided by the best people you can find-no matter what the cost?
  2. by   IMustBeCrazy
    Originally Posted by ktwlpn
    if you can not provide the care children need then don't have a bunch........
    Actually, you did. /shrug
    Last edit by IMustBeCrazy on May 25, '04
  3. by   IMustBeCrazy
    I guess what I would envision, Hogan, is not a place that would be in the midst of crisis, but a place that would be out of the the line of fire so to speak. Whether that be a separate building or just a really nice, *clean*, bright room staffed for example by a CNA or other background-checked personnel. The town I live in also has several institutions that crank out educators and childcare personnel, internship opportunity??

    I completely agree that hospitals/clinics are places where sick people go, I'm aware of RSV and TB and so forth and yes, they're nasty! But that doesn't take away the fact that single parents need to be seen for appointments, crisis situations come up, etc. That's where this whole thread originated. In an emergency situation, it seems like it would be more proactive and better (yes even risk management-wise) for a hospital/clinic to offer this as a solution rather than dragging the kiddos through the ER, etc? I mean seriously, do you really want that 4 year old in the room with mom while they're doing an amnio? Or worse yet dealing with an MVA where mom is comatose and kiddos are there? I would disagree on the child abuse part though, simply because for some not bringing the kids just isn't an option in the real world. It's societal pressure like this that causes people to use *really* bad judgement in fear of getting called in to child welfare - they take even worse, crazy risks in locking their kids in the car while 'they just run in for this quick errand' or worse yet, leave them at home unattended.

    I would venture to say that since so many people are waiting so much longer to be seen when they are very sick, you run just as much of a chance bringing your child to everyday places like the grocery store (like you mentioned). Daycares are also notorious for having outbreaks of RSV and Varicella. By the time the symptoms surface, everyone else has generally been exposed for days.

    Of course everyone's opinions differ, but like I have said before, if so many other institutions already can offer this as a service to parents, it seems that it IS doable, and that it is more 'won't' than 'can't'.
  4. by   caroladybelle
    Quote from IMustBeCrazy
    Secondly, our society is one of a capitalist structure, not socialist. So, if I want to have 10 kids, you may disagree, but ultimately it's not your decision, period. Until there is mandated birth control, or we are limited to having one child (hello China) people in this country will continue to have children at will.
    Interestingly, most Socialist countries have organized childcare. So I suppose you want Socialism, do you?

    And in a Capitalist society, you are expected to make your own fortune and take care of your own. You can have all the children that you want but you take care of them. By the same token, if you want to start such a popular service and solicit donations and take on the risk, there is little to stop you but yourself.

    So I suppose that you need to start calling in the morning.
  5. by   IMustBeCrazy
    I was speaking of China in that specific example.

    So I suppose that you need to start calling in the morning.
    The point is underscored again regarding the sarcasm in this thread.
    Last edit by IMustBeCrazy on May 26, '04
  6. by   caroladybelle
    Quote from IMustBeCrazy
    The point is underscored again regarding the sarcasm in this thread.
    There is nothing whatsoever sarcastic about that suggestion. The only way that these things get started is by someone with the interest initiating this.

    How else do you expect this service to occur if you (who have the need and the interest) don't do something about it?
  7. by   moia
    well in a perfect world where everyone has a great job and 2.5 children and a successful marriage I completely agree that the only person responsible for the offspring in that marriage is the bride and groom.

    Unfortunately that isn't a world I am all that familiar with.

    People make really bad choices..constantly...but I don't think the children should suffer because their parents don't have any money,friends or family nearby ready to support them .
    The majority of people with children are sadly not psychic...if they had known their employer was going bankrupt and their husband was going to leave them with 3 kids and 5o dollars in the chequing account they probably wouldn't have the first child...soooo

    I think the op is would make more sense to add an er daycare then to call social services and have the child the long run way cheaper and alot less traumatic for everyone.

    I think it is awful that alot of families have hit hard times and can't find someone to look after their kids for 2 hours, it sucks but what can you do?
    Ultimately it is the children who will be the victims if we force people to fear the system..really really stupid parents are everywhere and some think it is more than reasonable to leave small children alone in cars, apartments and houses.
    I would rather they brought the kids with them..less chance of them dying.

    I do think that parents that need to bring their children to adult areas really need to look after them though...I have seen mothers who think it is perfectly reasonable to let their children whine,scream and race around terrorizing everyone...they smile beignly and say " I wish I had their energy"...I am truly sick of that woman
    It is a hospital ...I had surgery a week ago and one of these out of control darlings nearly took me out on the way to the car.
    I let the mother have it ..I did not hold back at all because I had enough fentanyl on board...this woman just laughed and said you guessed it" I wish I had his energy" I told her she better wish she gets him under control or she will be wishing she had a lawyer.
    Then this paragon decided this will a learning moment and told the precious to apologize...I really let her have it then...why does the kid have to apologize? Obviously his mother made no effort to tell him the rules and made no effort to keep him under control...theses are the parents I can't if everything their children do is somehow out of their control and we are all supposed to just tolerate it.

    If you need to bring your children into the hospital then demand they behave, prepare them for it..provide toys and games and snacks and tell them to obey...if you can't control them do what I did reschedule to a better time...that is your obligation...hospitals aren't the grocery store or the mall...people who have just had surgery or are waiting for treatment or have just lost a loved one are the focus..your job as a parent is to make sure your children don't interfere with these people in any way.
    Yes you can control a 2 year old..strap them into a stroller..that limits them from smashing into someone who just had back surgery and is terrified of falling.

    Simple rules for bringing children into any area where they must behave:
    strap them down...strollers exist for a reason
    feed them before you leave
    those that need naps get naps
    don't combine the mall, grocery store and a visit to hospital...I don't care if it is convenient to get all your chores done in one day..I don't want to listen to sobbing exhausted children who have been pushed way past the limits of their endurance.

    Plan before you take all your children to a hospital.

    For those of you who suffer an unexpected health care emergency..I will do my best to make sure your children are safe while you get the care you need....nurses are ingenious..we will find a way so never let that stop you from piling everyone in that cab when you are feeling really really bad.

    In a perfect world daycare would be everywhere and family would live next door and husbands and wives would never ever divorce and we all would have lots and lots of money..but it's not so we need to protect those that can't protect themselves despite how irritating that can be.
  8. by   hogan4736

    You have stated the crux of the point/counterpoint here more eloquently than the rest of us...

    BUT, those that have been labeled as "rude" have stated the same thing...Care for your own, and take responsibility for your own...If my kids are running wild, I look inside (as a reflection of my lack of adequate parenting) for why that may be...

    Let's look beyond the outspokenness and disagreements...When you take your kiddos ANYWHERE, they'd better damned well behave, PERIOD!!!

    This discussion would (mostly) be moot if everyone's kiddos behaved in public, but THEY DON'T...AND that's the parents' responsibility to own, PERIOD!!!!

    I have a two year old, and I control him well. If I decide to not put him in the shopping cart, and he becomes a bother, I'll throw his little butt into the cart WITH a strap to hold him in...HOW dare me allow my kids to infect anyone's daily routine...

    I think THAT'S the crux of the debate here...
  9. by   IMustBeCrazy
    I don't think anyone would suggest that they shouldn't act upon their convictions, indeed some have already been dialoguing with institutions in their area. But there are also those that are looking upon this thread as a source of ideas and brainstorming.

    It would be prudent to have a plan of action in hand before calling up the hospital/clinic administrators. It certainly looks more well-thought out. I think we agree on following through, but I think we can also agree that someone calling in 'x' timeframe would not be reasonable, until such a plan would be formulated by whomever is doing the calling/appointment.
    Last edit by IMustBeCrazy on May 26, '04
  10. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Discipline is a huge but very separate issue. My kids could go anywhere with me cause they KNOW they better behave or else..........................muuwwahahahahhah What I mean is the rule has always been there.....and...

    Life is not fun when we get home if they act out when we go out. Priveleges disappear rapidly and chores are assigned, rigorous and sucky ones. When my kids were really little, I did what Moia suggested. Carried plenty of snacks, drinks, books, toys, etc, to keep the baby happy. It worked for the most part. Knowing where is and is not appropriate to take a child of a given age is of paramount importance, but so many have NO common sense!

    "i wish I had his energy"??? what a moron. That mom deserves MORON MOM OF THE MONTH.

    But I don't think this is what we are dealing with in CNM here. she sounds intelligent and has plenty of common sense. Like said before me, in a perfect world, daycare would be adequate, safe, and abundant. It is not. So we adapt cause we have no choice. I feel the pain, my friends and family are scattered across the globe and when I make new ones, they move. Such is military life.

    I have seen MANY awesome suggestions, esp. from caroleladybelle, here on what to do. I have done some of them myself. Exchanging childcare is a way I have coped for 12 years now. I usually begin by offering MY services first when it's obvious there is a need. Then when I Have watched their kids enough times, they are happy to reciprocate for me when a need arises for me. It has kept me going for years now. It really is a way for us to bond and make friends, both kids and parents.

    The real question is, are we willing to try the suggestions offered here? If not, then pity you; your problem will continue. The hospitals don't have to nor will they accomodate this need unless there is something BIG in it for them, other than potential for liability and lawsuit!
  11. by   ktwlpn
    Quote from hogan4736
    HOW dare me allow my kids to infect anyone's daily routine...

    I think THAT'S the crux of the debate here...
    ah hah-How DARE you call my kid an infection!!!! brahahahah I prefer "second hand smoke"
  12. by   moia
    I know you were just kidding about second hand smoke and infecting but honestly there is a kernel of truth here.

    More and more I see and hear parents behaving like their childen are a "gift to the world"..they believe their children are completely wonderful and anyone who says any different are bad people.
    I wish parents could understand that strangers have absolutely no obligation to put up with their children running wild.

    Just because you procreated doesn't mean you or your children are special and have more rights than anyone else...your children may make you happy but procreation has been going on for a very long time don't get a medal for it.
    I don't know how or why this lax parental standard thing has come from but I didn't raise my daughter to feel like she is a star and has no obligations to anyone.

    I don't resent the children I blame the parents entirely.
    I guess thats why after some reconsideration I don't think involving the hospital in daycare is a good idea.
    I think it would be taken advantage of in the first week and the place would be overrun...more and more the ER is being used as a primary medical center for people..adding daycare would just make it worse.

    I think it would just make more sense for people to schedule their procedures for more convenient times and make a real effort to control their kids.
    I think it goes back to personal responsibility...I understand the op had concerns that her children could be a burden to staff but I think if the children are under her control that issue should never arise. The staff shouldn't have to have any contact with the children if they are well behaved.
  13. by   ktwlpn
    Quote from moia
    Just because you procreated doesn't mean you or your children are special and have more rights than anyone else...your children may make you happy but procreation has been going on for a very long time don't get a medal for it....
    I don't know how or why this lax parental standard thing has come from but I didn't raise my daughter to feel like she is a star and has no obligations to anyone.
    Great post-we are in for trouble-kids have such a feeling of entitlement today.They have it all-what is left to strive for?