Thoughts about childcare during procedures

caroladybelle, BSN, RN · May 25, 2004

I for one, think daycare in the hospital would be GREAT as I said before. I wish, oh how I WISH it would happen.
But I think the OP is onto something. Wonder how we would brainstorm something that would fly....

Sadly, Deb I have suggested that the OP do this, to no avail.

Energizer Bunny · May 25, 2004

Here's your flipping reply since you apparently want to know all the reasons that I have no one in my life and no one to help out with my children.

An ad would take money. Right now, I am preparing for a yard sale for this weekend just to be able to buy my kids a birthday present and to advertise for childcare for my oldest for after school in the fall.

Start an agency? Firstly, that would interfere with me going to school. Secondly, I wouldn't even have a clue of how to go about it. It's not workable when I start school in less than 90 days. You act like this isn't an important situation, but for many, many mothers it really is. So, please don't treat it like it is nothing to worry about. It is my biggest concern especially with the crazy people out there that want to watch kids.

I don't have classmates yet. I start back in the fall.

Look, I would never impose on the volunteers and that is why I simply asked if anyone thought this was feasible. Obviously, it's not, but I was just asking a simple question of which I have stated numerous times.

I'm not saying my situation is different or harder than anyone else's including yours when you had to have your procedures done and needed someone to drive you home. I am only saying that the help is not there and I was inquiring into whether it occured anywhere.

You imply that I am not willing to work to find childcare for my children when you have no idea what I have gone through to try to find it. Most daycares want a fortune to watch my kids. They also will not take them for less than a certain period of time. I was offered a job that I could not take because I would have been paying out more in childcare than I would have been making. Where's the logic in that?

I do not know anyone because I have three little kids and cannot get out anywhere to meet anyone. That's why I don't know anyone. I cannot handle all three children in a public situation most times. They are rambunctious, but well behaved. I have taken Trey with me to have blood drawn, etc. and he is very, very good, as is the baby, but asking a two year old to understand what is happening and have her not pick on her brothers is a little much to ask. She will learn gradually...as she gets older. (and I thank God that this is happening every day! LOL!) We just moved here seven months ago and at this age, most people already have their set friends. I have tried to make friends but am not a very outgoing person when it comes to "interfering" in others' lives.

For me, it IS about helping the nurse out. Please don't presume to put thoughts or words in my mouth as you have asked me not to suggest you are being rude or sarcastic. I never want to impose on anyone. This is why I cannot make friends or ask people that I hardly know to watch my kids. I don't like to be a burden on anyone...that is why I don't want my kids to interfere with any procedure I am having done or a visit I have at the dr's. I don't wnat to inconvenience anyone, NOT ME! I always take the inconvenience of taking the kids with me onto myself. I have said before...it doesn't bother me. I am afraid that it bothers those at the facility that I am going to.

There...there's your answers.

- Put an ad in the paper seeking someone to do just that.
- Start an agency of your own to serve this very important need.
- Introduce yourself to your classmates, socialize with them and see if you can swap off with them regarding childcare.
- Introduce yourself and your need to the "bored elderly thumb twiddling women" as you quaintly noted and see if they can sit for you.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THOSE IDEAS!!!!
Well, they require effort, reciprocation and work on your part. And the convenience is not handed to you.
I regret that you are not happy with the answers that you have received, but they are quite sensible. Just like taking care of your kids. And if they are so important, you will find a way. As I raised a child, that I did not give birth to, I found a way. And mine had to sit quietly through hours of chemo.
If you do not know anyone, there is a reason. And you need to fix it. Introduce yourself to your neighbors. Talk to and eat with your coworkers. Bring a snack for your classmates. Thank those bored volunteers for the great free labor that they provide and ask about that cute pin that they are wearing. Ask child care advice of them.
And there will be people there that help you in a crisis.
And don't say that you don't have time. MAKE THE TIME!!!! Because when the chips are down, you will need these people. Karma returns. And there is no excuse for not knowing a certain amount about community. I get a new one every three monthes and still know most of coworkers, and neighbors within a few weeks. It is also important for community safety.
And you have a dh - yes, his job is important, but so are the kids and your health. If he chose to have kids, he should expect to rearrange his schedule to accomodate them. It is more his responsibility than the hospital or a volunteer's, or a nurse's.
And no, this is not about "helping the nurse out" that does the procedure or making it "easier for them". DO NOT EVEN GO THERE....... IT IS YOUR JOB TO PROVIDE CHILDCARE, NOT THEIRS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And until the day, insurance pays for childcare during procedures, you have no right to let your kids interfere with the normal flow of care or expect the nurse to have to work around them

IMustBeCrazy · May 25, 2004

First of all, I'm saddened that CNM feels the need to put her personal information out to air for all of you. It is, quite frankly, NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

Secondly, our society is one of a capitalist structure, not socialist. So, if I want to have 10 kids, you may disagree, but ultimately it's not your decision, period. Until there is mandated birth control, or we are limited to having one child (hello China) people in this country will continue to have children at will.

Thirdly, referring to kids as 'second-hand smoke' is part of a polite discussion? I think not.

IMustBeCrazy · May 25, 2004

CNM,

If people would put their time and effort into working together on childcare on a national level, instead of picking apart people for not being as fortunate due to money, social standing, 'I would have done it this way...' etc., and just admit there is a huge crisis when it comes to child care, whatever the situation...we would be a much better society.

Let's solve the problem instead of bickering over the details.

Energizer Bunny · May 25, 2004

IMustBeCrazy....

I'm brainstorming with some people now on what options there are out there and trying to find out what options are available in other areas to see if maybe there are some here too. I live in a city of about 36,000 so resources are basically limited. While everyone doesn't know everyone else because of the size of the town, we aren't a big enough city to have many of the amenities of larger ones. Thanks!

IMustBeCrazy · May 25, 2004

CNM,

Hope all works out for you!

:) :)

Trauma Columnist · May 25, 2004

Sorry that you felt some of us were sarcastic. I too have had young children. Like SmilingBlueEyes, my husband was in the military for 23 years. I put my kids first and didn't start nursing school until they were 5 and 10 years old. And believe me, overseas is even more difficult to find reliable daycare. Is there a way you can consolidate appts? If you have a child that is chronically ill and frequently hospitalized, perhaps contacting the doctors office and getting a social service referral would be beneficial. However, I still stand by my opinion that well-children don't belong in a hospital. Good luck.

Energizer Bunny · May 25, 2004

trauma...we usually do try to consolidate appointments and it's not that any of us are gravely ill...there is just a lot going on with all of us medically right now. I'm sure we'll work it out eventually. Still brainstorming....

CoffeeRTC, BSN, RN · May 25, 2004

getting back to the OP. What does your hospital do in emergencies when mom or dad becomes ill and child is with them? Who watches them until family or neighbors arrive? Is child welfare called?

CNM--I see where you are coming from. I just had a baby and had many appts to go to. I hated asking family (my Dad) to sit with the kids, but lugging to other ones with me was difficult. I think it would be an ineresting business to get in to and provide babysitting services to hospitals or large medical offices. I'm sure there are many women out there who would love this service. As far as liability, hospitals and other businesses (gyms, grocery stores etc) provide this already. I'm sure something could be worked out and something like this could be funded by grant money and making parents pay??

Poppy_Petal · May 25, 2004

If this thread has not turned nasty then I am on an alternate planet!!

It seems that some people feel that children are an unnecessary burden on society. "....Second hand smoke...." That is so offensive I will not formulate a rebuttal.

Should we have designated "child bearers" who will be set aside somewhere far away so as not to annoy anyone? Without children society will be in a very bad place. Think of society with a lot of grouchy older people who cannot ever retire and have no one to do the harder labor jobs. I guess while everyone is working till death they will have plenty of sympathetic company to spout child-hating conversation with. Darn't now I am being nasty and sarcastic...

Many socialist countries realize this and give tax credits, state funded "quality" childcare, paid maternity leaves, etc. They realize children are the future!

We live in a capitalist society with all of its benefits and drawbacks. So we are on our own. There is very little hourly childcare in my area. It is limited in hours and expensive and requires constant use with constant pay. The childcare at the college here can only be used while on campus.

I am a single mother (not by plan or choice-call it a natural disaster) and do not qualify for any childcare assistance because I have a job. You can only qualify for childcare assistance here if you are unemployed (weird). I make my childrens appointments together whenever necessary and get no healthcare of any kind for myself (couldn't afford the care much less the childcare to go with it).

I have done the childcare trading whenever I could find someone but very often end up with the people who love to have someone to watch their children when needed but really prefer to not be "burdened" with anyone elses children.

Good luck CNM!!! I was just there--I used money my daughter received from relatives to buy her gifts but was unable to give her a party. People who have not been in the situation of food or rent or other needed things will probably be unable to understand the guilt, embarrasement and occasional feelings of hopelessness.

I take great pride in my children, they are my #1 gift/legacy to the world!

Poppy_Petal · May 25, 2004

There are hospitals that provide onsite childcare centers (with expanded hours needed for medical workers) for the hospital staff. Why couldn't patients who have no other alternative call ahead so that the center would be able to staff adequately and pay a small hourly fee that could possibly be set off by donations--government grants, etc.

caroladybelle, BSN, RN · May 25, 2004

First of all, I'm saddened that CNM feels the need to put her personal information out to air for all of you. It is, quite frankly, NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
Secondly, our society is one of a capitalist structure, not socialist. So, if I want to have 10 kids, you may disagree, but ultimately it's not your decision, period. Until there is mandated birth control, or we are limited to having one child (hello China) people in this country will continue to have children at will.

She wants someone else to take on her personal business (children), something that I think is none of society's business. Children are very valuable and very personal.

I have NEVER said that I cared how many children ANYONE has. I only require that they handle those children themselves. And realize that others do not want to take the burden on due to liability.

and the poster has answered her own question of why there is no one doing this....because NO ONE HAS THE TIME!!!!!!!! Not her or anyone else.

And as long no one that cares about the issue has the time, those that need the care will continue wanting it but not getting it.

How hard or how much time does it take for her or anyone else to write a letter or speak to a volunteer or a manager to initiate such a plan? Well, if it is important enough to do, one will make the time. But I have yet to hear anyone say that they are going to do so, only gripe that we are saying to get rid of kids (which no one has said) or mandate birth numbers (no one has in this thread) and make up other things that have not been said in this thread.

I also note that those of us that agree that few hospitals will go for the idea related to infection control/liability issues have been nurses/worked in hospitals for long periods of time, which might say something.

There is also a difference here that is not present in most daycare issue. Employee's kids are there day after day, a history is filled out and presumably the employee is competent at all times to take the child back if necessary. That will not be true of someone dropping off an unknown child to go to a procedure.