so upset I could vomit...... - page 3

I'm not one to complain or moan or gripe all that much I love nursing,love caring for my patients and have been commended by my co workers, patients and patients family for the nursing care I... Read More

  1. by   thisnurse
    first off, i have had two patients outright lie about me. i have a clear conscience about the care i give so i am not going to let the lies bother me
    maybe you should have said to the daughter...your mom is alive isnt she? i must have done SOMETHING right.

    as for my story, i am not very proud of this but maybe it can help give some perspective.

    i was 20 years old and pregnant with my first child when i was in a car accident. my femur was broken in 3 places and i had multiple other injuries. i spent two months in the hospital in traction, followed by 4 months in a body cast. (yes, while pregnant).
    two days before my 21st birthday i gave birth, by csection, to a healthy but light, baby boy. he was
    born exactly one month earlier than my due date.
    on my 21st birthday i was taken to the OR to have my cast removed and a new one applied. xrays showed that there had been absolutely NO healing of the bone. it was decided that i would be put back in traction and after waiting a week to make sure no infection would set in from the csection, a metal plate was to be screwed into my femur and a piece of my hip bone removed and grafted to the bone.
    all i can tell you is that i have NEVER experienced pain like that in all my life. i wanted to die.

    when the time came for me to get out of bed, i resisted standing. i knew it was going to be extremely painful. i was sick of the ignorant nurses i me they were...and i was so damn frustrated because i was so tired of hurting all of the time and so tired of having to rely on others to meet even the simplest needs.
    they sent in a new nurse to get me out of bed. i refused again and again but somehow she made me do it.
    the pain was HORRIBLE. she was crouched down and holding my foot to the floor. it was the first time it was straight in months. i started having spasms which felt like my knee was being bent and i thought she was doing that.
    let me tell you, all of my frustrations came lashing out at her. i screamed at her and called her every foul name i could think of. i threw her out of my room and told her not to come back.
    she left the room in tears.i wont ever forget her face as i was screaming at her.

    my now ex was standing in the hall and heard all of this. he came into my room and told me that was the most ignorant thing he had ever heard and just couldnt believe how rotten i was to that nurse.
    at the time, i could have cared less.

    after i settled down i called her in the room and apologized. she graciously accepted.

    one of the reasons i became a nurse is to give back some of the great care i got and to make sure some of the crap care i got wasnt repeated. i am not an ignorant person, but if you had asked that nurse what i was like that day, i dont think what she said would be complimentary.

    im only telling you this so that you might see that although it looks like only one thing might be going on, it could well be a combination of things. we are very good scapegoats you know.
  2. by   Brownms46
    Dear ((((((((((thisnurse)))))))),

    I can never imagine how much you had to endure, and I know you must be a very strong woman to have survived intact enough to pursue your goals in joining the ranks of that caring nurse, whom I'm sure was able to understand why you lashed out at her. But your situation and the woman in the initial post was totally different. This lady was no longer in any distress when she lied to her daughter. Yes ...and others who have posted are correct...many times there is more going on then what you can sometimes determine. I know this as I, as I'm sure many others have been in that hospital bed also. I can truely say that I have felt blessed many times by the care I received. And yes I have had to throw someone out of my room...but it wasn't a caregiver...but back to the point.

    If I had been through the same things you had...I would have probably still be a basket case. I'm sorry to hear this happened to you, and hope you never in life have to endure anything close to that awful time in your life. But I think the way pts/families sometimes behave have nothing to do with illness...and many times everything to do nurses are perceived by too many who feel they can just walk over us. It also has to do with how in the world today...people are just rude, self absored, and just uncaring about those around them.

    This isn't only true in's true in many service professions. Ask the waitress who is talked to rudely, or has customers who leave crap all over the table...let thier kids throw stuff on the floor, and never bother to try and pick up the mess they leave, Ask the sales clerk about how people bring their kids in and allow them to throw things around...mess up displays...or have people who even though the annoucement is being played over and over again...people are still trying to shop...totally ignoring the fact that these people want to go home but can't because of them. Or the flight attendent is abused and misued by the public...(remember the one that the guy hit one because his flight was cancelled?) There are some people who are just plain mean...period!
  3. by   brdaniel
    Dear Hapeewendy,

    I think you are on the mend now, but here's another big hug, anyway! You deserve it for all that you did for that patient and for being the kind of person you are.

    Here's a thought that sometimes has helped me when I have wanted to thump someone: it's not the person who is saying those things about you, it is their illness. Have you ever seen how a patient's whole personality can change as they become really ill? They can go from being a really nice person to being a monster. As they start to recover, they revert to their former self and would be highly embarassed if they heard what they had been like earlier. Often it is their fear and insecurity which is talking, too.

    I find this in geriatrics, too. Elderly patients can be cantankerous and rude, but often it is their frustration and despair which drives them to act like that, because they know that they will only get worse.

    Nurses like us, unfortunately, have to act (figuratively) as their punching bags. It's not fun, but it's part of the job. Colleagues understand, because they have had similar experiences. That's why forums like this are such a great idea.

    Here comes another hug!
  4. by   hapeewendy
    once again I am proud to call you my fellow nurses!
    I'm feeling entirely better about the whole situation, tho still having to see this women isnt pleasant. My co worker had her the other night and she started the whole thing over again, not as mean as she was with me , but the jist of it all was the same..dr thinks she is okay and just kinda
    "milking things a little" (direct quote)
    who is to say? I wont ever doubt that someone is sick
    it helped that the last few nights I had super wonderful patients who I really made a difference with and who felt genuinely happy to have me nurse them
    alls well that ends well
    sometimes its hard to cope, in those situations we need eachother
    Hugs to all
  5. by   nursedawn67
    Yes Hypoxia can cause people to do odd things, but this woman was stabilized and still acting up and lying? I have seen patients do this to get their family to come around. and I have seen other staff members do this too, just for attention. I had a lady who complained of CP, I was at lunch and the other nurse on duty assessed the resident. It was determined that the resident had gas, vs were good, resident used bathroom felt much better and proceeded to go to bed and sleep. I continued to check on her and monitor her, with nothing unusual for her going on. Just as I'm reporting off to the day nurse the aides yell for us to come down and check on her, the aides then proceed to tell the day nurse that this resident has had chest pain all night and that we have ignored her. The day nurse believed what I told her as these aides were known to exagerate alot. But it made me feel bad, what if the wrong person had heard that? I charted everything that was done and observed that night.