Snide Comments From Family Members

[TheCommuter]

How do you all deal with snide, sarcastic comments made by family members?

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

The grandchildren are always making sarcastic comments to me such as, "It's so nice to see you; I thought you wouldn't come back.

I would try therapeutic communication techniques. "You are saying that you thought i wouldn't come back. Is there anything you would like to talk about?"

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

Thanks to all of you for the aforementioned suggestions.

[SueBee RN-BSN]

I try to clarify what they meant. Usually when confronted "what did you mean by........" they say "oh nothing, nevermind". Sometimes however, you can get to the bottom of some frustration or anger that is masked as sarcasim.

If it's really uncalled for sometimes I don't give the the power to bother me and I pretend I didn't hear them and ignore them completely.

Your right to get to the bottom of the comments. As a nurse we are dealing with the whole family, and it's best if the experience is as good as can be for the patient and family. Once we find out what is bothering them, we can fix the problem. However, there are some families who are just abusive. Ignoring their behavior will cause it to esculate. When I've had patients like this in the past, I've made a big production out of it. I call in other nurses, and the nurse manager, sometimes the MD. This way your covered, and they get all the attention they are really asking for.

[ktwlpn, LPN]

Consider that before they were surgical nurses, they had clinicals in nursing school in various depts. And perhaps they worked on the floor before getting into surgery, so maybe they knew/know the demends of a floor nurse. And in surgery, not all of the pts. are "zonked out."

Maybe the family members aren't understanding of the OP's side of things, but the above quoted rationale for it is very uninformed (not to mention dismissive).

I don't find that rationale dismissive or un-informed.In my experience it is very apt.I've dealt with family members from all walks of life and find acute care nurses (for the most part) very unrealistic regarding their loved ones in LTC.Unless you have worked as a nurse in LTC you have no idea,really...I came to my first LPN position in LTC from acute care-what a shocker.Couple the lack of practical knowledge of LTC in this family with their grief and feelings of loss over their loved ones declining condition and you have got a tough go...Due to hippa the floor nurses probably don't have to deal in depth with these grandchildren directly unless they are all listed as POA or something.I would certainly make sure my supervisor was available to give these people the attention they are craving so I could care for the other 20 or 30 residents on the unit.I would try not to react to the comments at all but try to educate them regarding the routine of the unit.I would report any negative interaction to the social worker and charge nurse/nurse manager...This is the kind of thing best dealt with in team.I recently attended a meeting where the family members had a typed document with about 30 concerns listed-however several family members were involved and lots of mis-communication had resulted .For example Dtr #1 refused dental and opthamology consults on admission-dtr #2 pitched a fit because these things had not been done-etc.And these were rn's and n.p.'s.Sarcasm and thinly veiled threats were flying from these people.They were angry and trying desperatly to maintain control not only over the staff but their loved one as well...They also did not get that in LTC we can't tie residents down and force meds down their throats-they believed Mom when she said she was not getting her meds until they were shown the MAR.They could not understand dept.of health rules and regs for LTC and they did not care a wit about the needs of any other resident on the unit...This type of family can really throw the entire unit into an uproar unless they are dealt with properly.good Luck....

[ortess1971]

Consider that before they were surgical nurses, they had clinicals in nursing school in various depts. And perhaps they worked on the floor before getting into surgery, so maybe they knew/know the demends of a floor nurse. And in surgery, not all of the pts. are "zonked out."

Maybe the family members aren't understanding of the OP's side of things, but the above quoted rationale for it is very uninformed (not to mention dismissive).

:yeahthat: Many of our patients are nervous/anxious about their upcoming procedures and it takes a talented and compassionate surgical nurse to build trust and allay their fears(and in a brief period of time, too.) Comments like that just widen the divide that exists in nursing. I think it's more likely that they are scared out of their wits by what's happening to their family member. Sometimes, you're worse off as a healthcare professional, because you see them with an experienced eye, and you know just how bad off they are. When my grandma died, I knew darn well things didn't look good and I couldn't even indulge in some wishful thinking, because I knew too much. That said, I see nothing wrong in confronting them(in a professional manner).